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Original poster

Homeless man begging- I want to help but...

40 replies

QueenoftheNights · 13/11/2018 11:54

I often have a little chat with a man who begs outside my local supermarket. I'm not 100% convinced he's genuine, but if so I feel like taking him under my wing if I can.

He says he's 33 and his parents won't allow him at home and they are always drunk. He looks younger than 33. I know nothing about benefits. I asked him why he couldn't stay in the night shelter we have- he says it's full. I asked why he can't sign on for benefits- he says he doesn't have an address. I asked why he can't use his parents (where he has a brother living there still) and he just shrugged.

I did some digging online and found he can use one of two local Job Centres as an address. Today he said he said he didn't know that but in any case he doesn't have any ID so he can't get a bank account for money to be paid into.

I suggested the J Centre could find his NI number perhaps and this would be a start.

I am very naive on all of this . I'd be happy to try to help him if he needs a bit of 'mentoring' to help him sort the admin side. But what does he need to do next?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 13/11/2018 11:58

Don't be a mug and get on with your own life.

abbsisspartacus · 13/11/2018 12:00

He is not being truthful sorry move on I mean it's nice to want to "rescue" people but this doesn't read right xx

VimFuego101 · 13/11/2018 12:01

Do you have a local homelessness team you can report him to? They will be able to assist/ advise him on what he is eligible for and where to go for help.

Santaispolishinghissleigh · 13/11/2018 12:04

I also got over invested. He has 2 ddogs. He was begging for the cash for vets appointment. I rang vets to enquire if I could pay.
It was an appointment with free treatments.
He was using the ddogs . I have helped him out plenty this past couple of years. No more.

Original poster
QueenoftheNights · 13/11/2018 12:07

formerbabe- how is your comment meant to help?
I used to work with adults getting their lives back on track (not on the benefits side) and I don't see anything wrong in trying to offer advice or moral support to someone.

For those who say he is not being truthful, well, can you tell me from what I've said here, what lies he is telling?

Simple questions- does he need ID for a bank account? If he hasn't a passport or driving licence, where does he get ID?

If he signs on, where does the money go that he is entitled to if he can't set up a bank account?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 13/11/2018 12:12

I very much doubt he wants your help. He wants cash.

WrongKindOfFace · 13/11/2018 12:13

There are alternative payment methods for people who don’t have bank accounts. Here: www.gov.uk/payment-exception-service

The best thing you can do is contact the local homelessness team. If he wants support they will offer it.

BlueChampagne · 13/11/2018 12:14

A local or national homeless charity should be able to advise on benefits and ID for a bank account. If he has a phone, you could donate a top-up card?

Veganfortheanimals · 13/11/2018 12:14

I had a thread on here a while back about a homeless man with dogs outside a supermarket ...I was giving money ..notes ..and all kinds of stuff for the dogs ..till I realised. He had the choice of a room and could take his dogs ,but he got more money on the street ,well if everyone was giving him the amount of money I was,he would of had plenty

formerbabe · 13/11/2018 12:15

How do you know he isn't claiming anything already? If he is, he's hardly going to admit to claiming benefits whilst begging.

You sound very naive.

NameChanger22 · 13/11/2018 12:19

Some people you can't help. And sometimes helping people just makes them worse. Does he want you to help him?

ComfortablyGlum · 13/11/2018 12:21

We have had several of our local ‘supermarket beggars’ outed on local Facebook groups.

Our smallish town has an active church / welfare community who are willing to feed, clothe, provide shelter and advice on benefits. They have helped a fair few genuine cases. These supermarket scumbags are (for the most part) conmen. They usually have a dog for extra sympathy power. In these days of social media they are soon identified as someone’s neighbour and outed as having perfectly decent housing and usually a car to get to the prime supermarket spots.

One of the regulars rocks up at our out of town M&S food hall (no bus service - accessible only by car) yet he’s there (with dog of course) begging on a 9-5 basis. The locals know he’s a conman but he still does very nicely from out of towners. He gets horribly aggressive when anyone mentions his 3 bed flat and Ford Fiesta.....🙄🙄🙄

Original poster
QueenoftheNights · 13/11/2018 12:22

I'm far from naive.

If it was so simple, why would people be sleeping on the streets?
Why is there a homeless crisis in LOndon?

Yes, there are professional beggars. Yes, some people are not genuine. But there are still thousands of people who are living on the streets caught in a Catch 22 situation. For example they can't get a job interview unless they have a phone or means of being contacted. They can't get a phone if they don't have money or an account / address.

I really don't need criticism here and sarcy comments- I was asking a genuine question to help me understand if he IS genuine or not.

OP posts:
ComfortablyGlum · 13/11/2018 12:28

Pretty simple really OP. The genuinely needy will be grateful for any help or advice you can give - a con artist will be full of excuses unless you are offering cash assistance.

Original poster
QueenoftheNights · 13/11/2018 12:34

Ok fair enough,I will pass on this thread for now. Not exactly helpful.

OP posts:
CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 13/11/2018 12:43

You're not a mug op. Trying to figure out how to help someone long term rather than handing over spare change is commendable. Also sometimes it's just nice to chat to someone down on their luck. I used to see a man outside McDonald's and I would buy him a coffee and Sausage McMuffin if I had the funds. He once asked me for the stickers to save up for a hot drink from the Maccy D's cups so I started going through the ones left in the recycling bin at work to get him more. He really appreciated it. He would tell me that sometimes he could go hours without being acknowledged and he dreaded speaking to anyone in case they jumped down his throat or worse turned their nose up at him. Yeah some of them might admit to wanting to stay as they are but that's because it's all they know. No harm in trying to get them to at least see what their options are.

Justmuddlingalong · 13/11/2018 12:44

One of our local 'homeless' people spent the day begging on the high street, he then jumped into his car at the end of the day.

ComfortablyGlum · 13/11/2018 12:47

Not sure what you want to hear tbh. If he’s genuine then there will be various charities or organisations that can arrange ‘admin’ help as well as more practical stuff (access to shelters etc).

If you source that information and pass it on then you will have done your bit as a good citizen.

Is he genuine- well apart from following him when he leaves to see if he jumps in a car etc you’ll need to trust your instincts I suppose. A warm sleeping bag, flask of coffee and a sandwich would be deeply appreciated by a genuine homeless person but try that with a conman and they will always need money for ‘dog food’ ‘medicine’ or £25 for the local shelter.

Nice of you to want to help but just stay savvy. Good luck.

AdamNichol · 13/11/2018 12:52

A colleague of mine won a place at the Royal Garden Party for her work in Social Justice. Her general advice was:

The crisis in homelessness comes from a few sources, but mostly it's drugs and mental health issues (with a few abuse cases and professional beggars / trafficked for begging)

Give food or drinks (or cigarettes) but not cash. Cash is liable to find its way to drugs not to help, and makes the person vulnerable to attack for theft

Give money to your local homelessness shelter or Salvation Army type thing

Job centres have a range of methods to get vulnerable people paid and on the path to employment. The incompletions of these processes is rarely on the system's end

NotANotMan · 13/11/2018 12:55

Homelessness is a trap. The reason people can't get out of it is usually because they are too chaotic, poly substance users with very poor mental health, no timekeeping skills and whose priority is avoiding withdrawal rather than getting a roof over their heads.
The processes aren't easy but homeless charities can help. If they don't get their benefits sorted there is usually a barrier as described above.
Also UC is something like £70 a week; good beggars can make that in a day which should cover food, alcohol and drugs for the day which is often as far ahead as street homeless people can think.
I'm not being judgemental or cruel but the best help you can give a street homeless person is to find out where the professional support services are and offer practical help to get there if they need it. Buying a meal, dog food etc is kind and won't go amiss but only give money if you accept it will probably be spent on drugs. Bearing in mind that withdrawing from heroin is horrible and painful so it's not as simple as 'if you don't give them money they can't buy drugs' because they WILL buy drugs and if they don't get them they will be very sick.

Tatterdemali0n · 13/11/2018 12:59

One of our local 'homeless' people spent the day begging on the high street, he then jumped into his car at the end of the day.
People always spout this bullshit on these threads and it's simply not true. I've been homeless (sleeping rough) and through the help and support of various people, agencies and charities worked my way up from having nothing academically to doing my GCSEs then A levels and then Uni. I now work with homeless young people. This car myth pops up all the time and it's fucking ridiculous. Cars are expensive to run, maintain.and park. No one is going to earn enough money from begging to do that. I'm sorry but they don't. I've worked amongst the homeless in Manchester for a long time and during my personal experience I've never come across a single case. Angry

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 13/11/2018 13:00

Good advice Adam. I understand the urge to help but he is like an RL MN begging thread, where the OP has an answer/excuse for every good practical suggestion put to them, in the hope that they’ll get PM’d PayPal offers.

I agree with finding out the details for your local homeless outreach team (your local council should have details) and discussing it with them.

MrsFezziwig · 13/11/2018 13:00

I don’t know the answer to any of your questions but I’m sure there will be a local homeless team that does. Why don’t you contact them on his behalf and find out, instead of getting stroppy with internet randomers?

(Also I did a couple of minutes’ googling which brought up potential answers to some of the questions you are asking, so maybe try that?)

CheddarIsNotTheOnlyCheese · 13/11/2018 13:05

Fezziwig to be fair the first post in reply to the op called her a mug and then naive. I'd strop with the best of them too.

birdsofafeather · 13/11/2018 13:30

Mug

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