Want to run away from it all, can anyone relate?

[AssignedNorthern]

I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while now, started anti-depressants a few weeks back but still feeling overwhelmed and low.

The overriding thought in my head every day is that i just want to run away, just get in my car and drive and not come back. Life just feels like one long list of obligations and having to do things that i just get no pleasure from.

Despite having my DS who i love so much i just can't seem to pull myself through it all. Can anyone relate? Any tips on how to help get rid of these thoughts?

I can relate but find it hard to talk about. I have suffered in an off for 9 years since I had PND. I have an unofficial diagnosis of PMDD (doctor just agreed with my suggestion!). At the moment I am suffering extreme high to low mood swings. My kids are being affected (age 11,9,4) more now they're older. I am medicated.

I'm not doing well atm and have self certified for 2 days. Work is actually not a big problem but the only way I can get some self care time right now is by not going to work.

The guilt is almost not worth it.

I can't really say anymore. Ive conditioned myself to not talk about it much. Especially as it's "just" hormonal and I'm not actually sick. People don't get it.

Sorry not much support there 

I think the worst thing is people don't see it. The medication keeps me going but it doesn't stop me wanting to not get up/run away...

I can relate to this. I have anxiety, health anxiety to be precise, and I am so bloody fed up of feeling the way I do!

I wish I could just disappear some days, just get in my car and go. I have 2 DD's, who I love dearly, but I often think they'd be better off without such a miserable cow for a mother!

I don't have any tips to offer I'm afraid, but I've joined a few anxiety forums, and as bad as this sounds, it does make me feel slightly better knowing that there are other people that feel the same.

I read some good advise on a forum, saying to break your day down, so rather than saying take each day as it comes, you take each hour. So if you can manage an hour without worrying too much, keep yourself busy, then that's a great achievement.

I did self cert a couple of weeks back when i started the AD's and i told my boss what was going on. His response when i came back to work was "So are you back, back?" which i took to mean you've had two days off surely you should be over it by now. So yes to the people not getting it!

The guilt is a big factor, i feel so awful leaving DS even though i know he is well looked after, i just miss him so much. But then when i have time with him i waste it because i'm too anxious to go out with him too far. I feel like i'm ruining his childhood.

I'm sorry you've conditioned yourself not to talk about it. It is really hard to explain to people close to you how you feel. I tell my DH i want to run away and he just takes it as a personal attack on him. I can't even begin to explain to my parents as their worry would make things worse for me.

Thanks for replying

I can relate to feeling better knowing that others have felt the same, makes me feel less weird.

Keeping busy is key, i'm so quiet at work right now it's not helping as there's no distraction (apart from MN!)

Same, I'm at work, but it doesn't keep my mind occupied.

I'm sorry that your DH isn't more supportive, I've tried talking to my DP about my anxiety and he laughs

I spend most of my time at work pretending to be busy, and having a moan (i must be a joy to be around)

That's very poor of your DP, nothing funny about anxiety. DH has tried, bought me flowers when i was diagnosed with depression and asks me how i am regularly but then doesn't seem able to cope with my replies. I think he just hopes it will go away and i'll go back to being myself, and so do i but i just can't seem to see how that's going to happen.

Do you have anyone IRL who can relate? Does it help to talk? I'm considering some counselling but the anxiety of it meaning i'd need to leave DS to go to the counselling is stopping me.

I don’t have anyone I can talk to, I’ve mentioned in passing to my friends that I have anxiety and they’ll either say “awww” and change the subject or something along the lines of “I know, I’m so stressed too” so I don’t bother now.

I also won’t see my GP as part of my health anxiety is a fear of anything medical, the thought of having any tests freaks me out

I have started an online CBT course called Silvercloud, but I’ll be honest it hasn’t made a difference at all. I find it rather pointless.

No kids or partner here, but I feel like this most days at the moment. The grind of being the only one who keeps everything going, because there's nobody else to do it, or share the burden.

I am really very lucky compared to many, but everything feels overwhelming at the moment and I keep thinking about running away to volunteer somewhere that provides bed and board so I don't have to think about anything for a while.

I've got anxiety. I've suffered for years but it worsened after birth and I've never really recovered.
It's started to affect me physically now, waking at 3a.m, bad stomach etc.
I'm tired of this. I never speak to my 22 year long partner. He really cannot deal with emotions. 🙄
I'm stressed at work, but if i didnt work, I'd be stressed and broke. Plus the idea of job hunting makes me more anxious.
Mentally, there's too much to do at work p.t but I'm a little under utilised out of work. One extreme to the other.
This time of year is worse for some reason. Sometimes exercise helps. Onwards and upwards I suppose.

Yes