Just recently noticed that the replacement for our old grumpy caretaker at DDs school is a rather dishy southerner. We first met a few weeks ago over a discussion about parking on the school grounds. This guy is seriously hot and since then we have been waving and smiling whenever we have caught eyes with each other. So he approached me this morning with 'hows it going' it really caught me off guard. I had slept late this morning. Face felt crusty, Gummage esque hair, old baggy clothes on. I started chatting anyway with the usual 'How you settling in' ect and he goes 'it's great, I've been here 7 month now' I was surprised as I have only met him a couple of weeks ago and came out with this absolute corker. '7 months? snort That says a lot about my observational skills as a parent, you could have been a bloody peadophile walking around the place' .... please......someone....shoot me now. 
or better yet, please tell me some of your David Brent Cringey one liners. This one will haunt me.