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Trigger warning: Trich (hair pulling) - anyone else?

19 replies

asmallpapercup · 12/11/2018 19:53

Name changed (obvious reasons) - I just wondered whether there are any other pullers here. I'm really really struggling. Pulling every day multiple times.
It's worse because I am so anxious and stressed. Had anyone ever really overcome this?

OP posts:
blondeemily · 12/11/2018 19:58

Hello - yes I am a trich sufferer. I pull my eyelashes and have done for around 15 years now. I recently got the courage to talk to a doctor. She referred me to "Talking Therapies" who it turns out have never heard of hair-pulling disorder Hmm They told me they can't help me because I'm not particularly stressed or anxious. So I'm back to square one and it seems there is very little understanding or help out there for us Sad However, you may actually find that some sort of talking therapy helps if you are feeling stressed?

blondeemily · 12/11/2018 20:04

I recently purchased a book off Amazon called "Help for Hair Pullers : Understanding and Coping with Trichotillomania". It helps you to identify the situations in which you tend to pull, and to remove yourself or distract yourself when you are in those situations.

asmallpapercup · 12/11/2018 20:09

Thanks for replying @blondeemily - same here. I can't believe they've never heard of it?! I wonder whether the phrase " I was pulling my hair out" as a sort of phrase for stress has never occured to them either! It must be a known thing surely?
I think a talking therapy could be good as I do find that stress is a definite trigger and I am hugely anxious. I've also been doing this off and on for more than a decade.
more like two
No one has ever really asked me or commented on it though not even my husband. I suppose it's possible he hasn't noticed. I usually wear dark goth like makeup anyway so it's not too obvious.

OP posts:
blondeemily · 12/11/2018 20:19

I know, it's very frustrating. I really feel that unless somebody suffers with it, they can't understand how strong the compulsion is. It's really not as easy as "well just try to leave your eyes alone" is it? Sad
I also wear dark eyeliner to try to disguise my lack of lashes, though my mum still notices. My boyfriend also hasn't ever mentioned it but he sees me without make up lots so I'm sure he must have noticed.
It sounds like it's worth you having a chat with your GP and asking for the Talking Therapy. I really hope you get the help you need. You're not alone Flowers

strumpetblowingatrumpet · 12/11/2018 20:21

I don't hair pull but I skin pick which is very similar disorder. I have been 'clean' for six months now which is the longest I can remember ever being clean since I was 9. I have been using distraction techniques like crochet and fiddle toys. I never found taking therapies very helpful.

Needallthesleep · 12/11/2018 20:27

I do this with the hair on my head. I also bite my nails which I guess is a similar kind of thing. It's started to look bad so I'm trying to distract myself from doing it. But obviously very difficult. I am quite stressed at the moment though so I hope it changes at some point.

blondeemily · 12/11/2018 20:41

strumpetblowingatrumpet I agree talking therapies is not directlt helpful for these disorders, but OP may find it helps witb her stress and anxiety which in turn could help her trich.
Thanks for the tips re distraction. I think this could be key for me as I find I pull when sat watching the telly - I need to occupy my hands.

blondeemily · 12/11/2018 20:41

*directly helpful

Winkybum · 12/11/2018 20:45

Yep. Lash puller here. Started off as a stress thing but now I just like the feeling.

sisterfrancesbeaverhausen · 13/11/2018 04:44

I gave my dc a fidget cube to fiddle with as he pulls his eyelashes out. I think it's helped.

sisterfrancesbeaverhausen · 13/11/2018 04:45

Like this

Trigger warning: Trich (hair pulling) - anyone else?
RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 13/11/2018 08:37

My DP twizzles his chest hair when he's stressed and then pulls a big clump off and then ends up with big bald patches and ingrown hairs. He doesn't seem to see it as a problem though

vampirethriller · 13/11/2018 10:32

I've had it for over 20 years. Hate it. I haven't had a parting in my hair since I was little, which doesn't sound like much I know but when you have to explain to every new hairdresser why you've got a large bald patch, explain to partners and friends, why you can't just leave your hair down etc it can be upsetting. Doctors have told me they've never heard of it or told me to just stop doing it. Parents told me I did it to get attention.
I don't do it a lot now, maybe three or four times a year, but I've done it so much over the years that it's never going to grow back.

Hospitaldramafamily · 13/11/2018 12:32

I did it as a teenager because of a stressful home situation. Had a bald patch at the back of my parting and used to pin my hair over it. It did grow back after a while and I had one really odd short tuft of hair.

Stopped when I went to uni. The urge just left. I don't have any useful advice I'm afraid but I wanted to say that you aren't alone Flowers

treetrunkthighs · 13/11/2018 12:48

I pull out my head hair, on the crown and partying. Not quite to the point of bald patches but definite thinness.

I hate it. I think I've been doing it for almost 30 years. I do suffer with anxiety and it is definitely linked to that. I'm resigned though to never being able to stop. I don't even know I'm doing it half the time.

Think I'll look at the book recommended up thread.

Some reassurance in not being alone Smile

PrincessDando · 13/11/2018 12:57

I do this but manage to stop when it gets noticeable. I also bite/ pick my nails to buggery.

asmallpapercup · 15/11/2018 04:09

Thanks for your replies. It does help to know I'm not the only one.
I've always wondered, despite my efforts with makeup, and it does help that I wear glasses, whether it is noticeable that I have no eyelashes.
Has anyone ever directly challenged you on this? Or commented? And have you told them the real reason?
It happened to me one time at work when I was 19 and I lied outright and made something STUPID up on the spot. I think it unlikely I was believed but they down push it further.11

OP posts:
WesternMeadowlark · 15/11/2018 06:33

I find that tiredness is my main trigger, and that an alternative thing to busy my non-dominant hand with is the only thing that helps once I've got the urge.

A fidget cube, as mentioned upthread, is a good idea, but personally I find them too far to reach to when the trance descends, so I use jewellery instead.

I used to have people ask about it, years before I found out that it was a proper disorder, with a name and identifiable causes. And what I hated most about that was how demanding they were about it, as if I was choosing to do it on purpose to freak them out, or something. It always made me feel so angry and powerless.

These days I'd just name it and give them a couple of sentences about what trichotillomania is, because I'm very comfortable with my disabilities and don't feel at all embarrassed about things I can't help. Also I like to raise awareness where I can, especially in case anyone present is also struggling with it.

I know it's not that simple for everyone, though, so if nothing else, talking therapy might help you gain more self-acceptance over this, and confidence in talking about it.

And those things can themselves relieve your stress a little, and help you feel good about pursuing any accommodations or changes to your appearance that you'd like to make to deal with the problem.

HellonHeels · 15/11/2018 09:06

I don't hair pull but I scratch and pick the skin on my scalp. It's compulsive, I feel much better when I do it. Flowers

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