Advice needed!! Education dispute with ex

[lwelsh]

Hi I'm hoping you lovely ladies can offer some help and advice.
I have a 7 year old son from a previous marriage. I am now remarried with a 1 year old son. My ex husband has just broken it to me that he has accepted a job in Dubai. He will obviously see much less of our son but has promised we will work something out for school hols etc. However, he has also told me that he intends to send our son to private school. This is to be paid for from his increased income and by reducing my maintenance payments. My first question is, can he do this? Surely if he wants to send him to private school, that should be in addition to maintenance payments not instead of (we have no fomsl legal agreement we've always just worked it out between ourselves). Secondly, I am quite against the idea of my son going to private school for numerous reasons. I appreciate that it would be a fantastic opportunity for him but that there are many factors that make me feel it is not right for him st this time. I would be willing to reconsider at end of primary school but for now I feel the time is not right to disrupt him. Where do I stand with this? Do I have a right to stop it happening or not?
I look forward to hearing any advice or of similar situations x

Haven't been in your situation, but my understanding is that education should be a joint decision, and if you can't agree, it needs a decision in court. Your ex cannot simply impose it - especially as he's not even.in the country!

he should still pay maintenance however he will be in dubai so i don't know how you would enforce it

Maintenance might be tricky (assuming he moves lock, stock and barrell - if he keeps so much as a UK bank account then CMS can give an order) if it goes ugly between you as UAE isn't a REMO country.

He can't just decide on the schooling though. If you don't agree it'll go to court and they'll decide what they think is the best option for your child.

You would both have to have firm reasons as to why the school you've chosen is the best one for your child so you'll need to have a think as being against private school in principle won't be accepted as a reason. Things like the provision where he is, opportunities for him, travel etc will.

The fact that he's settled where he is, doing well, and that you can't afford fees or guarantee ex will continue to pay fees is plenty good enough for a judge to rule for the status quo.

And of course you have a say - why on earth would you think you didn't.

Make sure school knows he isn't to be deregistered without your permission.

Thank you for your input.
He is planning on keeping his house on over here so I assume he will maintain uk bank accounts etc.
Me and his step dad are in no way able to afford the luxury of private school so will be reliant on his dad commiting to the fees for the next 10 years. I'm not against the idea of the school, however, it will mean him travelling by school bus at 7.45am and not getting dropped off until 5.50pm as we live over 20 miles from the proposed school. I feel that his home life will suffer as he'll no longer get time to play with his friends or brother. He is well settled in the village school with a close group of friends that he sees and plays out with after school, I worry these relationships will suffer if he moves schools

Perfectly good valid reasons. You have no need to worry. Tell your ex that in an email, stating that you do not therefore agree to moving schools.

He'll have to take it to court then.

My kids did go to private primary but it was. 7 mile journey by car.

The journey you describe plus the disruption as he is settled etc would be a big no no for me.

You are entirely correct. His home life will suffer.