Driving... I need help getting my big girl pants on

[TalkmeUP]

Passed my test earlier in the year. Loved the little car I was driving and was very confident towards the end of my lessons.

Since passing I've been out in our car a good few times, only ever local. It's been ok... not a fan of the car really, it's bigger than what I learnt in. It also has electronic handbrake and all the bells and whistles, my learner car did not.

It's been a few weeks since I've driven it (down to illnesses and the fact I've had no real 'need' to force myself to drive).
But now I'm terrified of getting back behind the wheel.
I don't even know why.
I've stalled it a couple of times and it really knocked my confidence. I just hate the thought of driving it.
It's really getting me down. I spent so much money on driving lessons in the hope I'd finally have some independence and just go off and do my own thing.
But all it's done is heighten my anxiety.

I think it's the clutch control I'm focusing on in my head. Im fine whilst driving, I consider myself to be a very safe driver.
But I hate the though of stopping at a junction or lights because I know all it takes is a slip of the foot and I'll stall the car.
Which is daft because, truthfully, that's only happened a couple of times.

I've spoken to OH about maybe getting an automatic but he wants to keep this car for as long as possible as we'd just be throwing money away (the same make & model in an automatic is about 3k more)

Well this has turned into a big pity party... but what would you do if you were me? Any wise words?
I would just go for a drive on quiet roads to get used to clutch control but I have to enter a busy main road as soon as I leave my small road so I just keep putting it off...

Yes, I said this to my OH, I definitely feel I was taught to 'pass my test' rather than to drive as such. He said 'well that's normal, people only learn after passing their test' 🙄

With regards to putting the handbrake on, that's what I was taught and I find it easy that way. But this car has the electronic handbrake and it throws me. You have to get the revs and clutch at just the right point for the handbrake to release automatically... it's just not what I was taught. I feel I'm learning all over again but this time without someone to guide me.
I'm great with the rules of the road and handling of the car... this car just seems so different!

Honestly just go out on a quiet road for a couple of hours and practice driving away and stopping. Do it until you're bored with it . Electric handbrakes are a pain in the arse.

Go out when the roads are quieter. 10pm tonight, get in the car and just go for a 5 minute drive. Do the same tomorrow. And the next day. Then make it a 10 minute drive.

When my friend taught his son to drive, the first day was entirely taken up with pulling away, braking, handbrake on, out of gear, both feet on floor, back into gear ad nauseam.

This is the routine my driver assessment requires: handbrake on, foot brake on, clutch down, gear in, foot off brake, hold handbrake, accelerator pressure to idle, clutch to bite, rev and release hand brake. Do that about 40-50 times, then do it again the next day. I've held my HGV licence 30 years, and I stall occasionally.

I live on a one way street on a hill, so the only way to leave my road is by traffic lights at the top of the hill. I stall the car frequently, and have rolled back and hit someone once too (who was very nice about it thankfully). It's life, no one is a perfect driver. Just get out there and try to stay calm.

TalkmeUP I don’t think what you’ve been taught is wrong, what I wrote is just what I learned when I started driving. Maybe I described it in a different way?

You could look at it as doing exactly what you normally do, but adding extra revs first. If we take my driveway example, you’re learning where the bite point is but not moving - revs are at 0. If you’re at traffic lights, add [Number of] revs (e.g. 2000 revs on the counter). Then find the bite point where the bonnet rises and the engine note changes. When you want to move, apply even more revs, release the handbrake and engage the clutch, adding yet more revs as the engine takes up the strain. Eventually you’ll memorise how to balance the revs and move off smoothly every time!

If you’re concerned about rolling into the car in front at lights, give them a second to start moving before you release the handbrake (just think - they might stall too!)

Even people who have been driving for years stall. If you do stall then just stay calm. You know what to do and you passed your test so you must be a safe and good driver. I understand the nerves. I passed my test two weeks ago and today I stalled twice and bumped the kerb! These things happen to even experienced drivers. Just go for a short journey, even if it's just round the block. And build up to a longer journey at the end of the week. You'll be fine.