heartbroken son

[thefootofourstairs]

19 year old ds has always struggled to rationalise when things go wrong . He has mild asd and has had meltdowns that have included him threatening to take his life . He once went and sat on the bridge and thought about jumping ( although i didnt know it at the time) but the day after he was calmer and not suicidal at all . He seems to have very intense feelings and be unable to see beyond the current problem at the time .

Hes really gained confidence and become really happy the last 2 years after getting a girlfriend.

yesterday the girlfriend ended the relationship . He is so shocked and devastated and keeps trying to contact her but she isn't answering him . He has been crying and telling me he cant do this , he cant live without her and if he cant fix this he doesn't want to live anymore . He loves her family and her and feels that he cant accept that shes left him .

He doesn't have any friends . she was his only one . it is breaking my heart to see him like this and i am terrified he may try to hurt himself . I keep managing to calm him down by telling him he wont feel this way forever etc but then it begins again soon after and i'm exhausted .

He is due in work on monday i don't know if he will be able to go .

i don't know what if anything else i should do .

If he isn't able to go to work on Monday, will you be able to get him to see the doctor?

Are there any other family members or friends of yours who might be able to help you get him through this?

It sounds as though you are doing and saying everything you can, but you need support as well if you are becoming exhausted, so I do hope you can draw on some real life support.

there is only me and his dad really . I thought about the doctor but wouldnt they just prescribe pills ? im not sure if they are the right thing ( i take them myself) or if he can take them as he takes epilepsy medication.
He was lonely before he met his girlfriend . i'm so sad for him. she was his world and its been so abruptly cut off .

It takes a period of time and a rollercoaster of emotions initially. I understand you are more concerned due to heightened risk. I would monitor and Support gently. Make sure he is eating something. Why did she end it?

she said it was because they were arguing too much . ds doesn't seem to think the arguments were serious . He took her away for her birthday only 2 weeks ago and spent all his money on a macbook for her . He certainly didn't think this was on the cards. Apparently they had argued via text whilst he was at work and that's when she ended it . He really wanted to talk to her face to face but she refused and later she blocked him on all social media and took their photos down . one of her friends posted pics on instagram of her dancing in a club and kissing another lad that same night . I messaged her mother asking her to talk to her about not causing him any further trauma and she insisted it was all down to the friend .
He cannot believe she would do this to him . I think shes the only person his own age hes ever truly connected with .

It’s very hard but this needs to run its course and hopefully he will learn from it. He has tried, if she is flirting and kissing another person he is better off without her. She hasn’t done this as some kind of revenge for something he has alledgily done?

So sorry OP .

Not a great deal of help but ..
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/20/secret-to-mending-childs-first-broken-heart

thanks all . ds is looking a bit better this afternoon BUT it turns out that she has replied to his texts and she has said she just needs a break and when shes got her head together...
seems to me that she is giving ds false hope and / or messing with his head . To see him so distraught and genuinely not wanting his life at 19 has been very hard . I really worry for him.
I will have a read peridito thankyou .

Your poor DS. No advice but I remember my first break up was heartbreaking.

Hoping the pain eases for him and he's so lucky to have you ❤️