I’ve totally lost the ability to eat properly :-(

[RobertDeNiro]

I’m a stone over my happy weight and feel flabby round my tummy and have a very messed up relationship with food. My toxic mother and sister have both starved themselves thin at various points and my mum wrote down instructions to help me lose weight on how much to eat a few years back which included things like ‘you might feel lightheaded’ and only eat meat the size of a deck of cards.

I’m NC with them now.

I’ve also watched lots of food documentaries that make me want to eat vegan or whatever but in all honesty I don’t like enough foods like lentils or chickpeas etc to do it.

I’m scared of eating gluten because after I had my dd I had insane bloating that only went down with a gluten free diet.

I’m also worried about sugar as I’ve read so much stuff about the damage it does to my body.

What I eat in a typical day:

Fruit with nut butter
Some chocolate
Chopped vegetables
Crisps
More fruit with nut butter
A proper dinner (risotto or something)
A soya yogurt

I’m really embarrassed to write down what I eat and I don’t know how to sort this all out. All the documentaries I’ve seen and bloating and advice my mum gave have made me afraid to eat a lot of things and I don’t know what to do.

Have three meals and two snacks a day. Have bread once a day, other carbs at least twice a day. Have salad or veg with two meals a day, and two pieces of fruit a day. Have meat, fish, eggs or beans with two meals. Have some dairy two or three times a day. These are balanced rules. Eg

Porridge made with milk and berries
An apple and some nuts
A tuna sandwich and salad, then a natural yoghurt
Houmous and carrots
Casserole, potatoes and veg

Or

Toast and peanut butter
Crackers and cheese
Chicken salad and a piece of fruit
Hot chocolate made with milk
Chickpea stir fry with lots of veg and rice, a fruit salad

Just make your own variations (these are based around healthy eating guidelines, I know there is lots of thinking about carbs, dairy etc but I think you’re trying to get the basics right and would recommend something based on easy, varied wholefoods like the above). Hope this helps.

Sorry, I missed the bits about gluten, chickpeas.

Thank you @evaharknessrose, I will make a meal plan. I’ve got myself into a right state.