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Stuck between a rock and a shit job

17 replies

Tempnameforthispost · 09/11/2018 22:54

I’m not really sure what I want from this post but I just need to let it out.

I was let go from my job recently, went for an interview and accepted a new job offer whilst in a panic about being unemployed. This all happened in a short space of time.

Since having time to think about it, I am absolutely dreading starting there. For various reasons, what the job is, the shifts (I care for a relative this will leave almost zero time for that), there’s no silver lining in the way of moving up/sideways or changing hours later on down the line.

The shifts will also leave very little time to go for interviews elsewhere. Not to sound too melodramatic, but it seems there will be no way out for a while.

I’m due to start there shortly, but I’ve been invited for a couple of interviews elsewhere during my first week in the new job (one being on the first day!). I’ve also applied for several other jobs which have closing dates end of the month or beginning of Dec which would be better for me and I am suitable/qualified for.

I’m not necessarily expecting interviews, but even if I get them, I’ve no hope in getting any time off, before Christmas atleast. I’ll certainly not be in a position to make any demands as a new starter either.

My dp has said to just not go to this job, but I’m terrified of not having a job at al! We’d be ok until Xmas, maybe longer with some frugal living (not that we’re big spenders anyway). I’m still worried as we’re not prepared for any emergencies, if we were to be living on one salary (for example it’s an old house, if we need repairs) but regular bills would be covered.

Also, my dp has been dropped in it at work recently by a colleague and will be doing 2 people’s jobs for a few months so I feel extremely guilty at the prospect of allowing him to be the sole earner. He is supportive regardless and agrees that this job would in some ways be more of a burden than a benefit.

My confidence has also been knocked a little as I went for another interview last week, a job that I was perfect for. They even said my CV pretty much covered everything they were after. I didn’t get that job, so I’m now catastrophising and thinking what if I withdraw from the new job (the interview for that one was pretty much show up and state your name) and can’t get another.

I just don’t know what to do! I need to choose the risk of being unemployed, or the risk of being happier in a job by being stuck in a new role which I don’t want/can’t handle.

We’ve had a proper shit year this year, we’ve hit a brick wall with a lot of things, my MH has taken a big hit recently so I am really struggling to see clearly.

(I’ve nc’d, not sure why really, depending on how the thread goes it could become identifying)

If you’re read this far, thanks and sorry for the ramble and not knowing what I want from you!

OP posts:
YeahCorvid · 09/11/2018 22:56

Maybe take the job and also try to get to the other interviews. Worst case scenario is that you don't have this job because they lose patience with you with the interviews; best case you get a new job, give notice, and leave; a good bet, right?

Tempnameforthispost · 09/11/2018 22:58

Sorry, I muddled a bit. The interview for the job I’ve been offered was an easy interview, so it doesn’t fill me with confidence for ‘proper’ interviews if that makes more sense.

OP posts:
Tempnameforthispost · 09/11/2018 23:06

Thanks for replying. One concern is the interview I’ve been invited to on my first day at new job. It’s a good company, they’ve already said they offer complete flexibility to suit the individual etc. I don’t want to kick myself later.

Even later on, there’s no annual leave allowed for a while so I’d be phoning in sick each time which I really don’t want to do. I’m a terrible liar for one thing.

My MH has been fragile for some time (for several reasons) so I’m just working myself up about being ‘stuck’. I don’t want to guve too much away but the job involves being a bit of a verbal punchbag (unhappy customers in unhappy situations) and I just dread it. I just panicked and took it.

OP posts:
Ariela · 10/11/2018 00:04

There seems to be plenty of work about, as you're getting plenty of interviews, so it won't be the end of the world if you don't take the other job.
I'd see if you can get the job you've got an interview for on day 1 sounds a lot more compatible with your needs.

AntiHop · 10/11/2018 00:12

Sounds like you've had a tough time.

Being happy at work is so important. I agree with your dh. Either withdraw from the new job or ask them for a delayed start date for a couple of months.

Tempnameforthispost · 10/11/2018 09:27

Thanks for the replies.

I thought I’d mentioned this, but in my rush forgot to specify, I’m actually due to to start there on Monday. I’ve never pulled out of a job before, so I feel like a right knob to do so at the last minute (I’m not the only new starter so they’re not depending on me as such but still)

I’ve just never been without a job, except for a couple months when I was younger (and no bills) so it completely new territory.

Dp has suggested nows the perfect time to try and just get a part time temp xmas job, so I’m not committing, and it will give me time to sort the rest of life (!) out, and still have the time to interview, care for my relative and actually have a break.

Some of the jobs I’ve applied for with end dates in Dec will likely have a start date in the new year, as the places are closed over Xmas. So it kind of fits.

There are so many other things giving me a headache but this is the only thing I am able to take control of, it’s just the worry I’ll make the wrong decision whatever I do.

I don’t drink but I could really use one right now!

OP posts:
Piglet208 · 10/11/2018 09:42

Your mental health is far more important and you give valid reasons why this post is not ideal. I think you should contact the job by email if you can and say that due to a change of circumstances you will not be starting but thank them for the opportunity etc. It sounds like they will easily recruit someone else. It isn't ideal but better than them investing more money into your training and induction etc. Go for the other interviews. Spend the weekend building a positive view of yourself and preparing for the interview by reading the job description and researching the company online. If you are not successful, do not despair. Keep applying for jobs that will fit around your life and if money becomes an issue look for some temporary seasonal work over Christmas to tide you over. It sounds like your OH is being supportive. You can do this.

AntiHop · 11/11/2018 09:33

So you've got a job interview on Monday too? If that interview is for something you really want, I'd call in sick tomorrow. Say you've been vomiting on Sunday.

JohnCRaven · 11/11/2018 09:38

This goes against ethics but would get you out of the situation.

Phone in sick each time. If you get the new job hand in your notice and apologise saying your mental health couldn't cope with this role so you needed to leave for one better suited. Some of that is true and some isn't so it depends on your ethics.

Tempnameforthispost · 11/11/2018 11:51

Thank you everyone.

I have today emailed the company to withdraw from the job. Even without the interview tomorrow, I think I would have done.

I was thinking of going to the job and then handing in my notice if it came to it, but my dp said he knows me, and he knows I’ll feel obliged to stay even if it’s to my own detriment (he’s right in saying this, I have in the past not taken opportunities due to loyalty to my previous job. I’m kicking myself now)

I definitely couldn’t have ‘got away’ with phoning sick, I would have just worked myself up worrying and overdoing the lie 🙄

I feel terrible, but many of you have pointed out that MH is far more important and I have to put it first now.

Even a family member agreed with my dp that I should just take some time out.

Thank you all for the supportive comments 💐

OP posts:
AntiHop · 11/11/2018 18:12

Good decision op. Good luck with the interview and let us know how it goes.

DoraJar · 11/11/2018 18:56

Good on you and best of luck

Tempnameforthispost · 12/11/2018 14:02

I got the job! I’m so pleased as is my dp.

They’ve said they want the job and hours to suit me, so from first impressions they seem to really want a happy employee not ‘just’ an employee.

My dp is gloating a bit though, saying he knew I’d get it and I worried about nothing Hmm Grin

Thanks again everyoneFlowers

OP posts:
DoraJar · 12/11/2018 17:05

Congratulations!

adynerfa · 12/11/2018 17:43

A happy ending. Hopefully the start of a positive phase in your life

Aridane · 12/11/2018 17:46

Well done!

AntiHop · 12/11/2018 20:50

Well done!

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