Anyone else struggle to treat/spend money on yourself?

[BearSoFair]

Asking because I'm only just realising how hard I find it to justify buying myself things!

Recently got a pay bonus which means that I could afford an item I've been lusting over for a while (won't say exactly what, but relating to a hobby, it's definitely a 'luxury' purchase and not at all something I could even try to convince myself is necessary or needed) but I've been umming and ahhing over it for weeks. I've spoken to DH who says go for it, I've spoken to friends who say buy it, but I feel weirdly guilty even thinking about it, as if I should be putting the money away or using it for something sensible like decorating the house...

Anyone else similar?

Nope! As long as all of the DCs needs and some of their wants are met, I have no trouble spending on myself. In theory, anyway - TBH, I don't actually need much but if I really fancied something and had the money, I'd buy it.

Yes. I’m happy enough to buy for my children (not necessarily frivolous stuff but if they need something I’ll buy it straight away) but I debate for ages over myself. On the occasion that I treat myself or just buy something without much thought I then sit worrying that it was a waste and that I might need that money for something more important later. I think it’s due to my childhood but I could be wrong.

Nope don't feel guilty
I often ,very often treat myself , all bills are paid and there's food in the fridge so why not, I work, why can't I treat myself

I was discussing exactly this today.
I tend to go out at start of each season and spend about £120 on the clothes I’ll need, which does for rest of season.
Yesterday I bought a pair of Clark’s boots for winter in the sale and today some jumpers, I went over by £40 and feel massive guilt.
I do not hesitate to buy anything for kids or partner , or house but feel massive guilt.
In this same week aswell ive got a car on lease delivered, really nice, I’m struggling with massive guilt!! The fact that I’ve been driving 10-12 yr old cars around for past 25 years, after divorcing and watching ex dp’s Living life of Reilly with shiny cars whilst I was watching every penny - I can’t seem to tally up the thoughts.guilt complex overload.
Even writing this feels like it’s smug because there’s people out there who won’t be able to spend £12 on themselves and I have been that woman for many many years.

I used to spend half my wages on clothes and treats for myself. Now I have a 1 year old and earn 3x as much as I used to yet I spend barely anything on myself now! Bought some new jeans last week for £25 and cringed, and I had to do it because my old ones had a hole in and I only have one pair! And Thursday is my weekly coffee shop treat day where I spend all morning and early afternoon in Costa doing uni work, so spend about £10 in there.
That's all really.

Easily spend £100 a month on non-essential baby stuff though, clothes shoes etc.

I will be honest and say I have put my husband and son first for the last 15 years. And it has started to show over the last few years

Even the cat was above me. But. I have started to take stuff back. I have changed the way I deal with my son to make him more independent. The cat now sleeps downstairs so I’m not being woken up six times a night. I have taken days to myself recently. And even bought a few new clothes.

Trouble is to take care of everyone else we have to take care of ourselves first and I was forgetting that

Yes that's exactly it @hmmwhatatodo I always find I'm thinking what if something comes up and I'll need that money later on

Spending on DC, not a problem, it's just when it comes to treating myself!

Nope, I deserve clothes and books and nice things too.

Very much so! We are often on the broke side, so every penny counts usually. Most years I get birthday money from ILs & my grandparents & most years it goes towards paying bills or something the DC need . The givers know this & are fine with it.

When I do buy myself things it tends to be as cheaply as possible, either from charity shops, sales or cheap shops such as Primark. DH is great, though & will sometimes surprise me, when we can afford it eg, when things were good in the summer he used his cashback to get me a shopping voucher & a coffee voucher.

I’m always buying myself stuff. Every week.