Bedtime for a 14 year old?

[TinselAngel]

DD's bedtime is 9.00pm with lights out at 9.30.

I'm starting to think it might be time to let her go to bed a bit later. (eg 9.30 with lights out at 10.00?), although as a single parent, this will cut into my peace and quiet, not being talked at time.

What time is bedtime for your 14 year olds? (She's an August birthday year 10).

I always have to wake her up for school, if that's relevant.

My 11 year old has that bed time.

I think 14 they kinda need to start figuring it out for themselves to be honest.

When my DS is 14 I know I won't be staying up to make sure he goes to sleep on time, he's just going to have to sort his own bedtime.
There will be strictly no phones in the bedroom though.

DS1 is the same age (born July 2004) and goes at exactly those times (unless it's the holidays). I read somewhere that they actually need more sleep at this age than a couple of years ago because of all the changes (physical and psychological) going on.

Also, you shouldn't be waking her up. That's very much her responsibility.
She should have an alarm to make her a bit more self sufficient.

But that's just my view.

You could still say bedroom at 9 even if it's not lights out til 10. So she can do her own thing, read etc. I think 10 is late enough for a 14 year old, others might disagree!

The phone gets removed at 9pm here but they probably don’t go to sleep until 10. This is late enough as we are up before 7am weekdays and 8am at weekends and they do lots of sport so are tired .

DD has to go up to her room at 9.30 on school nights but I leave it up to her to decide when she'll fall asleep. Usually she has crashed out before 10.30 so I have no need to nag. At weekends bedtime is 10.30 and again I leave it up to her.

And yes as pp said no phones (or iPods, or laptops etc, etc)

I agree that she should be waking herself up, I accidentally bought her an alarm clock so complicated neither of us can be bothered with it. And I don't allow her phone in her room after 9pm so she can't use that.

My ds2 is the same age as your dd, he's an August birthday Y10 as well.

We recently changed it from 9.30 to 10pm. It's the same bedtime as ds1 who is 16 but very much still needs the structure of a bedtime.

Although several of DDs friends apparently stay up until the wee hours messaging each other so I guess some teens need to be told that it is sleep time!

For clarity, I said no phone after 9pm but I meant no technology at all.

I accidentally bought her an alarm clock so complicated neither of us can be bothered with it.

I can really sympathise with this!! I did the same thing, stupid bloody thing. And DS has randomly pressed buttons a few times so I've had to start again. And the instructions are USELESS.

Alarm clocks were never that complicated when I was young!

I remember at her age I used to read, and listen to the radio until quite late.

Nicky Campbell on Radio 1, 10 til midnight. (Or maybe I was a bit older).

At 14 dd1 pretty much took herself off to bed by around 10ish and put her light out whenever (no gadgets allowed though). She is now 15 and we chat downstairs/watch Netflix until about 10.30 then she goes to bed.

Dd2 is 12 and has a 9pm bedtime purely because she is terrible at getting up in the morning.

Maybe start letting her sort herself out?

Me too OP.
I also used to sneak out the house at midnight and come home at 6am.

In fact, perhaps don't listen to my advice on bedtimes after all. 🤭

DD is 14 (September birthday so one of the eldest in Yr9). She goes to bed under her own steam usually around 10pm but sometimes earlier, sometimes later (sat up with me watching Ab Fab atm).

Having said that, she's very organised and better than me first thing - she's normally the one nagging me to get my arse into gear in the morning!

I'm still attached to the idea of lights out/ tucking her in. But it's probably time to let that go.