Heartbroken need advice

[NotSoThinLizzy]

So after the day I've had with DD (9) we had a chat when I put her to bed and shes really feeling left. out all my time is spent with her baby brother he's very clingy won't sit in a sling And if I touch another person he cries. So what can I do. Today really opened my eyes on how my DD must be feeling

Makes me feel like I've failed her so much

How old is he? Try to involve her in his care. Try really hard to get some 1 to 1 time with DD.

Sorry he's 14 months. I do try to get her involved but she's not having it. We have issues with baby's sleep so he's going to sleep after her. I try to read her a story and tuck her in but most nights I don't manage it. I mean the last real one on one time I spent with her was a week ago. Makes me feel like shit. She's at school when baby naps so cant do it then.

The ans2er is, you can’t split yourself into two.

Baby in his father ‘arms and you put your dd in bed every night whilstbhe is loooking after his ds.
Or you swap and do every other night each.
Same at weekend etc...

Btw if she felt that she could tell you all that, then you haven’t done such a bad job!

I feel your pain, it’s so hard being a single mum. You can’t split yourself in two. At 14 months I’d be tempted to let him cry it out for a few mins whilst you read DD a story and tuck her up properly. Likewise in the morning whilst you sit with her at breakfast.
Is there grandparents who can take your son for a couple of hours each weekend then you can give DD some 1-1 time?

My parents are currently away dealing with a dying relative and only God knows when they'll be back. Ds still wakes every hour sometimes wakes at 1 and won't go back to sleep till 5 so I'm bloody knackered. I might get some free time on Sunday so think we'll stick on nightmare before xmas and have some nibbles

Can i suggest that you don't put on the TV and watch a film? If she's feeling left out she wants to spend time with you, so maybe play a boardgame, paint her marks. Let her do your hair & vice versa? She'll get far more out of that.

Paint nails not marks. Very sorry to hear about your relative too.

Ok doke that's a perfect idea. Relative is an awkward situation 😊 just thought because she loves nightmare before xmas

Why doesn’t baby sleep? Maybe if you can crack that, you’ll have a bit of time for your daughter in the evening.

I know it’s hard, my DD didn’t sleep until she was 18 months and I felt like a shit mum to DS. It’s a lot easier now she’s older and has a better routine.

The boys never slept. Have an appoiment on the 12th to see about getting different meds for reflux. I think he may have some food allergy too. Saying that he slept all night last night 😂 and slept in so got half hour with her this morning