1 child family

[Rjs14]

Hi there.

I just need to express myself. I'm so confused and feel I can't talk to anyone, or if I do they don't understand.

I'm a 27 a mum of 1. My daughter is my world, she brings me so much joy and fulfilment and I'm so happy I've had her. Having said that I just can't deal with the thought if having another, I do get stressed being a mum of 1 I find it so hard. I still love being a mum but a mum of 2? I don't think I could stretch myself emotionally..financially.

I was very traumatised after her birth. I hated labour. And the thought of going through that pain again terrifies me. She was an amazing new born and I couldnt of wished for a better baby espeicially as a first time mum..but I was broken inside. I wasnt myself. I felt like the old me had died and I had to turn into a whole new person.

She's 3 and a half now and I feel like I'm only just getting myself back. What if I have another and go through that again..with another child to consider too. I cant imagine juggling with school, nursery, my job which ive just started and i love it (can you believe it's in chilcare ) and even my marriage! Would that also suffer. Luckily he's on the same page as me but worries we'll regret it one day when she's a teenager off to uni etc..but I dont want to start again.The truth is, I think I'd be a bad mum with 2. That brings tears to my eyes but it's the truth.

But I can't help thinking the same. What if I massively regret this in the future. I want the WANT another so badly. My friends all have more than one. I can't help feeling jealous they deal with it all so much better than I do with just 1.

Do any of you have just 1? Whats it like?
(I know I'm young and have time to change my mind but I can't see it changing, more time that goes on the worse I'll get. I feel like I need to do it soon or never)

Thanks for reading my rant

just remember that it is your choice, don't compare yourself to your friends. several of my friends just have one child, and they all seem happy (the kids and the parents)

in regards to the pain of labour, if you are desperate for another child but don't want to go through labour again then would you consider adopting a baby? understand its not for everyone (I haven't adopted myself so don't know the ins and outs)

all the best x

I have one child, she's 17, I have no regrets.
One child was right for me.

I could only have one; some people can't have any. As they get older, they get more expensive. Only having one, we have been able to put him through university without any loans; we will be able hopefully to help him with a house deposit, things that my brother can't afford to do with 2 kids.

Mine is 23 now, and I have no regrets at only having one. I might have not survived having another.

I only wanted one DC then oops got pregnant with DC2. It's so hard I can't even explain it. I work full time and keep house as we all know most men are utterly useless in this area. My life is just a whirlwind of school/nursery pick ups drop offs, food shopping, cleaning, going to bed at midnight and starting it all again at 5am. I go to work for a rest!
I love DC2 with all my heart and wouldn't change him for the world but I do have day dreams about only having the one again and I know I wouldn't have chosen to have a second.

I'm an only (not my mum's choice). I loved it. I had lots of friends, did loads of things with brownies, guides, am dram etc. and had three cousins I grew up alongside (although not now close).

My DS is an only on my side (he has a half brother but there is a big age difference) and step siblings (even bigger age difference). That was a choice on my part.

You do what is right for you and your dd. Don't compare. Don't fall for the crap people tell you, but also be honest enough with yourself to change your mind (I never did, he's 16 now).

restingbitchface101 you've just put into words something I've felt so guilty about for the last 2 years. I love my son with all my heart, but I shouldn't have had a second. Thank you, I don't feel so bad now I'm not the only one who feels that way.

I’ve one child, and it never occurred to me to consider another. Several friends have one child — and almost all my London friends have only children, and won’t be having more. Really, it’s only since moving to the sticks, to a very conservative village, that my decision has been viewed as in any way unusual.

Thank you. I would love to adopt. In a way it seems more natural to me, I love kids and it's my job and my life. But me and my husband would both have to want that..and I'm not sure he does x

Thanks everyone. It's nice to know im not the only one.
Us mum's definitely out too much pressure on ourselves. She starts school next September.. maybe I should re visit it then. X

I have 1 but not through choice, we have secondary infertility. We are looking at the positives of only having 1 and moving on. I'd say if your not sure then don't rush

I have just the one (now grown up) DS. I actually would have liked another child but my son was a very big baby so the birth was hard work and I wouldn't have wanted another child with my then (now ex) H. It also made working and developing my career easier. I was quite young when I had him so I'm now 'free' to do my own thing with my lovely DP.

DS and I have a very close relationship, he is a lovely man now starting out in his career as a maths teacher. Honestly he's the light of my life and I couldn't wish for a better son.

Having one child did enable ex-h and I to support him and provide for him in a way that might have been difficult with more children.

I don't regret my choice at all.