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Symptoms of sexual frustration- please fess up and help me

9 replies

Nitpickpicnic · 08/11/2018 11:40

So here’s the thing, my DH and I are pretty much living in a celibate marriage. His choice. Low libido, and apparently no interest in exploring options or offering ‘one for the team’ every now and then. Won’t really discuss it (10 years married, 16 together). Managed to conceive our dd 8 years ago, but it was pretty much a miracle. And not a hint of a romp since. Me? Female, high libido, many partners until this one ended my sex-life on me.

Feeling better about your own relationship yet? 😝

Anyhow, we’ve got a few other ‘normal’ issues, but this is a strong undercurrent for me. We’re 5 months into relationship counselling. We’ve had some epiphanies, some improvements in other areas. Problem is, he keeps bringing up how ‘angry’ he thinks I am. How I resent him, get irritable, don’t seem to trust and respect him as I should if I mean our relationship to work. If I give him that sideways look that says ‘Well buddy, any normal human would get a bit testy after a decade of no sex’ he claims I use it as an excuse.

So I ask you all, what behaviours or symptoms do you notice in yourselves after a period without getting laid? What do you reckon happens to a woman long-term, with sexual frustration inside a relationship? Obviously I take care of business alone, but it’s not the same.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 08/11/2018 13:41

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NancyDonahue · 08/11/2018 13:48

I think the main symptom is not feeling connected to dh. It's hard to feel bonded without any intimacy.

SushiMonster · 08/11/2018 13:52

I think that when two people are not compatible in a relationship., they get pissy with each other.

You don't sound compatible.

NOTthepinkranger · 08/11/2018 13:55

If he doesn’t want sex he doesn’t have to have it though and fair enough you need it but then maybe you shouldn’t be together, you’re not compatible or happy clearly

ASAS · 08/11/2018 13:55

Hmmmm. More and more we're having threads about men who don't want sex but want a wife... washing, ironing, fucking, etc but without the fucking.

Are you angry? No wonder. Do you see counselling helping?

EmmaGeddon · 08/11/2018 14:04

Why are you staying with him? What do you get out of the relationship? Wouldn't you be happier to call an end to this farce of a marriage and be free to find someone you are compatible with?

RightOcciputAnterior · 08/11/2018 14:33

You're not compatible. Do both of you a favour and leave. I was in a sexless marriage due to my first husband's lack of libido and I ended up having affairs. It would have been much kinder for all involved if I'd just left before I reached that point.

gamerchick · 08/11/2018 14:38

If I don't get some for whatever reason for a while I do get ratty and grumpy. I find things that are small irritate me somewhat.

Me and the mister have a chat about life getting in the way of our bond and we make time to fix it. It doesn't have to be sex, but intamacy is massively important to the bond.

If he shrugged me off then it would be a deal breaker and I would seperate from him. It's too important to my mental well being feeling connected to my OH.

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