Bedrooms (2) Kids (3) Ideas please

[jjemimapuddleduck]

I've been doing a lot of future planning over the last few days and now think we can afford to move to a decent sized house in 2.5 years (summer 2021). We currently live in a 2 bedroom flat and there are 5 of us - DH, I & 3 kids. At the moment, my DD11 and DS9 share a room and DD23m is in with us. I really need to split up eldest DD and DS as I think DD especially needs some privacy.

I'm a bit stuck. Even in the best case scenario, no-one is going to lend us enough money to buy a 3 or 4 bed property until we have a bit more equity in the property (took out a 125% Northern Rock mortgage suicide loan 13 years ago), we've paid some other debt down, and we will need some savings behind us for solicitor and moving costs so moving now is not an option.

Waiting 2.5yrs to move means we could afford a bigger property and a 4 bed may be in reach. Obviously I am desperate to move. We are cramped and I'm miserable but waiting and being patient seems to be our only option. However, in the interim period, do we...

• Sit tight and put up with the chaos and try to explain to the kids the longer term plan (to be fair they have never known different and don't often moan but I feel they deserve their own space & privacy)
• DH and I move into the living room and get a good sofabed and sleep there for the next couple of years leaving 2 bedrooms for the kids. This is my preferred option but worry that, shamefully, I'll feel resentful of the kids.
• Sell up and move to rented. This isn't as easy an option as it sounds as renting costs much more per month than a mortgage would for a similar sized property (so our ability to pay down debts and get back on the property ladder is compromised) and we'd also need a large deposit

Moving areas is not an option. We are happy and settled here (albeit cramped), kids are happy at school and DH and I have a good work/life balance.

We can't reconfigure the rooms, our current property is old, walls are very thick and the rooms aren't big enough for sectioning off.

Is there a best case scenario? Will I go slowly mad if my can be a bit entitled 11 year old DD is lounging about in my bedroom and I have even less space than I have now?

Please please no mean comments. I am highly aware of how crap my situation is and how I can't provide properly for my children.

Do you have a large kitchen/diner? Could you put a sofa there and have it as a family room and use the lounge as a bedroom?

I don't think you can move into the lounge. I don't think a sofa bed exists that would be genuinely OK to sleep on for 2.5 years. Also you need to think about the fact you'll be marketing the property to sell in 2 years and it will put buyers off if not bedrooms are set up as kids rooms.

I would put all 3 kids I'm the bigger bedroom and you and DH have the smaller. In the kids room, install bunk beds and enclose the two top bunks for the 2 older kids to give them a little privacy. (Link to one example but there are loads of options). 2yo (will be nearly 5yo by the time you move) gets a bottom bunk obviously. Space under other bunk could be kept clear as play area so that would be a bed on stilts rather than a bunk.

How much is your property worth and how much equity do you actually have in the property. Also what area are you in. Is it worth seeing if moving now would actually be a possibility? What about shared equity. Different to shared ownership and in 2.5 years you could but the remaining equity

There's some really good blogs on small living spaces and specialty furniture. Ikea also has good space saving stuff, curtains around the beds etc. In major cities sofa beds are a common solution, shocked me at first but in New York etc it's the only way for many. Do talk to a mortgage broker though and work out where you are, it's sometimes possible to move sooner

I would keep the rooms as they are. A 9 and 11 year old will be much more similar in terms of sleeping compared to a 2 year old who will nap, and sleep early and likely first awake.

They are on bunk beds and room slants, so not sure a divider will work that well

Instead I would try a few things:

buy them decent headphones. then they can watch things on laptop, tablet or tv without disturbing each other.

Add a desk area in living room and another in bedroom, let one use one space and one the other. that way they have some time apart

Allow eldest to use your bedroom to read, use laptop, homework or watch something if 2 year old is in living room, and 9 year old can do the same in their bedroom.

Some evenings go to your bedroom a little earlier to allow one of the older ones some time alone in living room or their bedroom, and they could use living room to have a friend over occasionally for film and sleepover in living room.

Also look at booking both older children into some kind of activity or club they enjoy. Book different times or activities for them both. That way one gets some time to do something they like, and the other gets a few hours a week they know the other isnt at home.

In general, for you all, spend time outside of the home a fair bit so it feels less cramped at home as once home everyone has burnt off some energy. If the toddler is worn out, they are less likely to need to run energy off in flat

I think sell and rent, prices are starting to decrease so that may actually increase your buying power.

Thanks so much everyone, that's definitely all food for thought. I really appreciate all the suggestions.

To answer some questions:-

• our kitchen is about 3m x 3m and definitely not big enough for a sofa. A 4 person Ikea table is pushing it!
• we do already do lots suggested above to try and mitigate the effects of a small house. The older kids have sleepovers alternate months with my folks to allow the other to have a friend to sleepover here. We do lots with them separately and they have their own space in their shared room. They each have a large desk (one in front of the window and one in front of the radiator). We also have a large walk-in cupboard in our living room as a 'craft room' and have a play shed in the garden (although they are growing out of that now) which they both use.
• I don't think we will be eligible for either shared equity scheme (we are in Scotland) as we don't fit the criteria of either scheme - scotland.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/advice_topics/finding_a_place_to_live/shared_ownership/shared_equity.
• I think we have about £60k equity in property now, our current property is probably worth about £175k, mortgage balance £115k. We have around £10k debt which we are chucking £750 p/m at. If we do sell up and rent, we need the debt to be gone first so we can afford the increased rent payment. Our current mortgage payment is £500 p/m, rent for a bigger property is likely to be £1,200+ plus the increase in CT. We will also need a deposit saved so that's definitely going to take a while regardless (but not 2.5 years, maybe 1.5).
• If we move in 2.5 years, I've calculated that we will have paid off the debt, paid off another £10k equity and saved £10k moving costs. I've also (perhaps naively) hoped we will get a bit more for our property then so equity will be more like £75/£80k.
• we have an offer on the table from my sibling to give us (gifted) £20k whenever we move to help. So if we move in 2.5yrs, we will have around £100k deposit for a new property putting us in a much stronger position. This offer is only on the table to put towards a new house, not for anything else.
• no sign at all of house prices decreasing here.

Both bedrooms are roughly the same size with fitted wardrobes except ours doesnt have the slanted wall.

You could buy a 2 bed and rent that out and then rent yourself a 3 or 4 bed. Lots of my friends who can't afford their dream house do that.

If you sell your house you can do help to buy on a new build, the government lends you an extra 20% and you can borrow more than you would have been able to in addition to that as you are lower risk to the mortgage lender.
Me & DH thought we couldn't buy anything and went to see a financial advisor specialising in H2B. We bought a big 3 bed semi.

Thanks wheels. We have had a look at Help to Buy in Scotland but the threshold is not big enough. Max purchase price is £200,000 and the new builds here that would be big enough are £280,000+.

Could you fit curtains to the bunk beds so that they can have some privacy?

I would rent out your flat and then rent somewhere bigger. Hopefully there wouldn't be too much differential, especially if you were prepared to move to a slightly cheaper area.

I have seen people use the Ikea box storage shelves (KALLAX) as room dividers. You could put it up the middle of the room (top to bottom in your diagram) so both the kids still have access to the fitted wardrobe. Get rid of the bookcase and put their books in it. You could get two high sleepers so that there's lots of storage underneath each of their beds. You could get a lot of this stuff as their Christmas presents to help save money.

Ikea spice racks on the wall as book storage work well. Then can get rid of book shelving on floor to make more space for say a comfy chair instead. put the Ikea spice racks around each sleeping area of the bunkbeds so they have their own books available within reach

I think it's all bothering me so much this week as we have acquaintances talking about moving to a £470k+ 5 bedroom property and I feel sick with jealousy. I'm also avoiding everyone who seems to have their lives really sorted as I feel like such a big messy failure.

You've had some great advice which I can't top. But I do need to say that there's a good chance the people you envy have lives which aren't so rosy.

I live in a 5 bed house and would do anything to swap it for a two bed flat and three lovely children (or even just one).

I know it doesn't make your living situation any easier, but there will be people who envy you too.

Thank you @shortgreengiraffe, you're absolutely right. I do try to count my (many) blessings. I wish you all the best for the future.