How do I deliver a eulogy without crying?

[OlennasWimple]

Just that. I've been asked to give a short eulogy at a funeral next week. For various reasons, including some of the other people who will be there, I really, really don't want to cry, even though I seem to cry at anything at the moment (damn perimenopausal hormones)

Any tips to keep the tears at bay would be gratefully received

My sister & I spoke at my DM’s, as others said we practiced it over & over.

Sending

Practise. There will be bits that you find more emotional than others and as you practise, you will find those bits and get it out of your system a bit. Also, pause and breathe.

Finally, don't worry about it. Some emotion is good and keeps it real. Don't overpractise so you lose all emotion from it.

Its a funeral. Part of its job is to let people cry and say goodbyes. It is part of the grieving process and healthy imo.

I’d add to all the excellent advice on this thread that your desire not to cry is powerful - do not underestimate that power. And also that this is one of the most sympathetic audiences you can speak in front of - they are all there to support you.

It is tough and it is difficult but everyone in the congregation knows that and they will be sending you positive thoughts if you wobble a bit. And you will wobble, unless you are in fact a robot.

Also if you do have a wobble, don’t say sorry, which is what most people do when they start crying. It just draws attention to it and de-rails you.

Do you think you with cry because of hormones or your emotions about the funeral?

My DM spoke at my DDad's funeral. She hadn't practised at all, barely could speak before and stood up and was amazing as suddenly she just wanted to get across what he meant to her to everyone in the church.

I suspect you won't cry because you will be so busy focussing.

Good question, Anna. I think I will cry because I cry at anything at the moment. The silly thing (and one of the reasons I dont' want to cry) is that I wasn't incredibly close to the deceased, I've sort of been asked to speak as a representative of an organisation that meant an awful lot to them. I'm very aware that there are plenty more people with a reason to be upset there than me.

Some wonderful advice on here, thank you

I did my nan’s eulogy. She was more of a second mum. Remember to breathe, take your time, centre your feet and feel the floor all the way to your head if that makes sense. Focus on the paper or at the back wall. You can do it. Good luck

Sorry for your loss.
Firstly make sure you have written down what you are going to say. As a vicar I attend a lot of funerals and usually if the eulogy is written down the person will get through it. As people have said that is because they have read it and read it until it is clockwork.
Have someone in the congregation primed to come and stand with you if you look like you are struggling. I will stand by people if they look like they need support but it feels more personal if it is a friend.
Most vicars will ask for a copy of the eulogy so they can read it if they need to. Let them know you are concerned you may struggle to read it. I always tell my people that as I start to announce their piece I will look over at them and if they are shaking their head then I will read their piece for them.
But usually people get through it. Yes they may shed the odd tear or sound a little emotional but that is expected at a funeral. I guess adrenaline keeps you going.

I made fists and dug my nails in reading my Mums. I'm sorry for your loss

Have a few sips of port/sherry/whisky before the funeral. I mean a few sips too. Just enough to give you that warm feeling and take the edge off your nerves.