Do you value your health visitor?

[TraceyBond]

Other than the first home visits, which felt really judgemental and preachy, I haven't seen the HV as she said future I could make appointments but I didn't have to (son is 13 weeks).

I've been to clinic a couple of times to self weigh, the first time we saw a HV. We're seeing the GP a lot as he has CMPA so we've been working through some treatments but I can't weigh him at the surgery. Yesterday there was a supervising HV who came over and was telling me to take the bottle out of sons mouth when he's feeding to prevent obesity, he's in the 2nd centile and I had already said we are seeing the gp as we have problems.feeding him.

She seemed to assume that as I am overweight I would be forcing my baby to become overweight when the complete opposite is happening. It was just really unhelpful advice and again felt very judgemental rather than kind.

I don't really see the point of them, maybe I'm missing something. What benefit do you get from your HV?

Apart from maybe the first visit I didn't find them helpful. I haven't seen them at all since the first few weeks with my second. With my first I went to the baby weigh ins quite regularly and when I said ds was a bad sleeper the hv told me I needed to sleep train him. She was trying to be helpful but I hadn't asked for advice about it and he was still very young.

Our local HV is amazing. I could sing her praises all day. She’s not judgemental and shows a genuine interest in the families. We’re really lucky.

I found the HV quite useful and non-pushy. However they unfortunately outsource the weigh in clinic to less useful, but more pushy, community nursery nurses. That's where it all went wrong.

Patronising surveillance from someone who expected to be able to turn up at her convenience not mine. Complete waste of taxpayers' money

Who are these people that have a health visitor?

I had one visit me when baby was about 6 weeks, then didn’t see another till his 1 year check. He has another appointment booked in a few weeks for his 2 year check.

All weighings done as a baby were by myself at a self weigh facility at our sure start centre. No health visitors present at all.

My health visitor decided, and told me, I was lying when I informed her that DD and I were not home for her visit as we were in hospital after a hit and run.

Rang my Mum ( I was 26 and living with my partner) to tell her to look after me as I was obviously mentally unstable.

Refused to back down or apologise, even when contacted by the hospital or when driver of car was charged with countless offences.

A really bizarre situation all round. I didn't choose to see her again.

I am so sorry you haven't got a good HV. My experience was the opposite, It's a while since I had my dc but I had wonderful HVs.

With my first there were 2 who shared the clinic and I could see either. They were brilliant for advice and support and kept details of all baby activities so would recommend different groups / courses for the different stages.

They also ran a little baby store where I took my baby things after I had finished with them as we lived in an area with pockets of high deprivation and temp housing so families would arrive with nothing and my HVs used this little store to support new mums in difficult situations.

When I had my second it was a different HV. I was unwell after the birth and looking back I can see I had quite bad pnd. I refused to consider this at the time but my HV was totally on the ball, she called or visited nearly every day supporting both me and my husband and making sure I was getting the support I needed. I can only imagine how much worse things would have been if she had just left me to it.

In my opinion they are underfunded but do a wonderful job in very stressful circumstances.

The team of hvs in this area is great. Really helpful and supportive. Not at all preachy and always phone ahead (well in advance) before visiting. I've had some amazing advice about feeding and reflux from them too.

Mine was ok, I haven't seen her since DD was a few weeks old, she'll be turning 2 next week. The only thing I could raise an eyebrow about is when she tried to tell me that the hydronephrosis I suffered with toward the end of my pregnancy must have been a 'pre existing' condition when it was actually caused by DD's position. I've never suffered with kidney issues before or since. Oh and she told me that I 'really didn't want' the elective c section I fought long and hard for. I assured her quite strongly that I did. Other than that she was fine, not that we've seen much of her.

Mine told me I was over feeding my 98th centille son. I cut down the oz in his bottles and he was starving. Would wake every 40 minutes through hunger and after a few months of this I gave in and added an extra oz to each feed, problem solved and he slept through the night! He's even drilled centiles now.

We have an allocated HV who does health visits for the first 6 weeks or so then you attend their clinics whenever you need them. I found ours wonderful, they prevented me needing lengthy GP appointments a number of times and were so helpful and supportive.

I’ve noticed a lot of people hate HV and seem to encounter these unbelievably rude ones or ones that tell them random incorrect things like adding baby rice to formula. It’s hard to see how it happens tbh.

I also was so grateful for all the suport I was given with my new baby, it just seemed amazing to me that the government provided this service to keep my baby safe and healthy. It makes me a bit teary eyed

I thought mine was very patronising and seemed a little judgemental. (I'm a lone parent).
I was so irritated by her I phoned up and asked to see someone else next time.

Mine (albeit over 10 years ago) told me that BLW was ‘tantamout to starving your child’

Second child HV was better but only saw them twice.

My first health visitor was a godsend, a bit preachy but also very much there when I needed her to be.
Sadly this time I have a different one who is useless, doesn’t do referrals when she’s told me herself they are important, cancels every appointment after she’s due to arrive, etc.

My HV is amazing with helping me with my postnatal depression. She will put my prescription in at the GP for me etc really goes above and beyond. If I'm not up for a visit she doesn't assume I'm trying to hide something lol. I think if you have extra requirements like post natal depression and you get a sympathetic HV then can be a godsend. Mine have arranged intense psychotherapy and all sorts and have never once made me feel like I'm letting down my children.

First one put DS in intensive care. Second one (after I mentioned looking at nurseries) subjected me to a long rant about how she could never put a child into childcare. Told them to get lost after that. DD has never been near one and we are all the happier for it.

I loved our HV. She was brilliant. I feel so sorry for the team as they are so under resourced and have to jump through ridiculous hoops which means they can’t do the jobs they were trained to do.

I have a 16 month age gap between my girls and the first wasn’t walking when the second was born. She said to me ‘Don’t let anyone tell you you have a baby and a toddler. You don’t, you have two babies, and this is going to be hard at times.’ I carried that for the next six months of non-sleeping DD2 and it got me through some really hard moments. She was great - honest and practical and calm.

Also on day five of DD1’s life, the midwife at the home visit, as DH and I asked a barrage of questions said ‘Do you two work in professional roles?’ Yes, we do. ‘Yeah, you know she isn’t going to follow any management system, right?’ Nope, they really really don’t.

We’re very lucky to live where we do

It's like any place, some are good, some are crap, and there are varying levels in between.

I had one good one, followed by an ok one.

Mine is good for having a rant to but her advice is usually bollocks and none of them are up to date on current advice. I still worry about dd weight gain after HV telling me she wasn’t thriving. Actually she just couldn’t count and went from 50th centile to tracking for the last 4 months at just under 91st!
I do research myself and just use the HV for weighing.
I do think there needs to be a better basis of research and evidence to their advice as some of it is weird. Our HV is a bit obsessed with dd not liking porridge and keeps telling me it can take 14 tastes before baby likes a food. I just give her things she likes, fruit, toast,omelette etc!

I loved mine. She was great to discuss things with and was like a second Mum to me when I needed it.

DS2 has never been seen by the HV. He’s just turned 8 she didn’t turn up for his 6 week check and I’ve never seen her since.

Mine is utterly useless. She never gives a straight answer, doesn't know about local services, repeats the same phrases whatever I ask. Pointless. Definitely doesn't know latest research.

We've just got a team of them here, you're not allocated one as such, so you never know who you're going to see if you go to a clinic. Apart from coming to see ds when he was first born they've never been in contact. I think they're over stretched. But, i have to say the contact I've had with then has often been quite preachy and caused unnecessary stress/ worry - ds dropped a centile in his first few months and they put me on an unhelpful "feeding plan" when i took him to the weighing clinic, telling me i had to feed him every 2 hours day and night, including waking him, even though I'd already told them he fed for an hour at a time so that would mean him feeding for 50% of the day (what they really should have picked up on was that i needed bf support and that he was struggling to feed because of tongue tie, which i figured out for myself). They made me feel like they thought i was stupid and negligent. Then, when my son couldn't do something random like jump at his 2yr check up they made out like he was practically impaired, even though he met all other milestones.They said they'd follow up on it to see how he was developing but they never did. Also when I've been to them for advice about him being a fussy eater they just reprimand me for the fact that i didn't do baby led weaning. So i avoid them now as they make me feel like the world's worst parent! It's definitely luck of the drawer though as I've encountered other hvs in passing when visiting other children's centres that seem much less judgy and genuinely helpful

Mine is fantastic. Hugely supportive when I had concerns and gave excellent advice.