I don't know what else to do

[frasersmummy]

My DH passed away very suddenly last August. He took a massive brain hemorrhage at home ..while we had a heating engineer here who phoned an ambulance and by the time he arrived at the hospital he was on life support.

My ds 12 was 6 hours away on camp.

By the time he got back the hospital had explained to me that there was no hope of survival.

The family got to say goodbye before the hospital switched off the life support the next day.

Since then my ds has been blaming me for turning off the life support and for taking his dad's Life and his rage towards me is getting worse.

I have tried different counselors, childline, my gp and we've even had a meeting with the consultant who was on that night who explained it to him.

But he just can't get his head around the fact noone is to blame and therefore he is blaming me.

I have ruined his life..i deserve to have mine ruined.

I just don't know what to do ..I'm.at the end of my tether

I have absolutely no advice for you, but l send you and your son all my love. This is departley sad xx

That is so sad. What does he think should have happened? I'm glad you spoke to the consultant but so sorry that didn't help your son.

OP, was it this year or last year? I'm so sorry you lost your husband.

What about the family? His grandparents? Can they help? Especially your DH's parents?

Hollow he doesn't actually know what he wanted to happen.
We have had many many conversations on the matter

It was last year and dh's family want nothing to do with me. I was never good enough for their son and when DH died they kicked me out their life.
They want my D's in their life..and this has added to Ds anger and upset..
My dad tried to help ..but struggles for answers too

I hope you don't mind, but I did an advanced search, OP. Your son was the same when your mum died a few years ago, wasn't he? Did he recover from that? If so, what helped him then?

On a mild scale my brother had such deep internalized rage but not directed at one person but at himself. It was no life.

It's an awful life you must be living, but in someway he knows it's not your fault.

Personally I would try to outlet the anger - maybe martial arts, an intense hobby that involves some element of movement - art (painting warcraft) or sport like parlour.

I'm sorry but in some way he's probably cross that you lived, when his Dad didn't. That's going to make him feel like a prime shit and make him even sadder and angrier.

Perhaps art therapy? There are a number of charities that work with grief.

I'm so sorry for all of you battling this.