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I don't develop crushes anymore, is this normal?

5 replies

lockedhorns · 06/11/2018 09:14

I have come to the realisation lately that I no longer seem to form crushes on various men and I am not sure why as I used to always have a crush or two on the go from the age of 11. I am now in my early 40's and for the past 3 years I live with my partner. Prior to that we lived seperately but were together for 7 years. For the past few years I have also worked from home not really meeting many people but then that shouldn't stop me as a good amount of my crushes were on famous people anyway, you know just a nice person to think about while drifting off to sleep!

It could be my age but my sex drive is higher than its ever been the difference being that I have a man on hand in the house now so perhaps I'm just dealing with it now instead of having it build up. Perhaps its that I am settled and no longer really dreaming of falling in love and starting a life with someone because I have that now.

I can still find a man attractive but I don't seem to get carried away with it. I might think ohh so and so is attractive but its like I just can't mentally get it up for them I know they are probably insufferable pricks in real life and I just can't be bothered to even dream about them!

In many ways this is fine as I used to be annoyed at how much head space these crushes could take up and sometimes it would turn into a more limerant situation which could be painful and I also think its good because as I get older I feel I need less validation from men and other in general but it also feels like a part of my youth has gone silly as it might be!

So tell me do crushes stop happening when your settled and happy in life or do they still happen to you at any age?

OP posts:
IsThisSeeSawTaken · 07/11/2018 09:49

I have no idea, but it sounds like you’re in an excellent situation!! I’d just embrace the cushiness fully! :0)

LanguidLobster · 07/11/2018 09:52

Isn't that nice though?? Crushes can be awful and take up so much headspace and make you feel like you're permanently 'on'.

Sounds like your life is good :)

RunSweatLaughAndLatte · 07/11/2018 10:11

I had a crush which became limerence, completely all-consuming for 2.5 years. It has been hard work!!! Crushes suck

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UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 07/11/2018 10:37

I haven't had a crush since I was a teenager.

LanguidLobster · 07/11/2018 10:52

@RunSweatLaughAndLatte, exactly!!

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