How can I repair my relationship with MIL

[HollyWoods8224]

The wounds are about 6 months old, I'm a real grudge holder and she's super sensitive (sensitivity level: lip trembling and teary eyed over us going on a 3 day holiday)
I don't want to upset her deliberately, but I don't want to compromise my personal space/sanity.

She gossips, anything I have told her previously, she has used as conversational filler. Both with people I know and people I don't - It's come all the way back to me and since then I've been very tight lipped about everything I do. She's now hurt that I don't keep her informed. (visibly, she asks a question and her bottom lip goes wobbly when my response is friendly but not full of details)

She had a habit of turning up at our house unexpectedly I thought it was inconsiderate, we could have had plans etc but its family so ya put on a smile and make tea and biscuits etc.
Then - when she knew we were at work, she would turn up and hanging about in our garden (intrusive?),
THEN - she turned up at our house when we weren't home and brought her friend/s and IMO that's just flippin invasive!
We obviously didn't know until we ran into a friend of hers - who told me how lovely our garden was?! - I was upset and felt violated.
DH (because i was ropeable) told MIL that it was not OK, and she needed to back off me in general, which ended with MIL in tears.

I'm now very defensive of my personal space bubble around her, and some other in laws who don't see it as problem (maybe I'm the problem??!). When leaving, i'll say goodbye, let DH do his hugs etc, and stand near by waiting/slowly move towards the door. MIL will follow me 10-15m with the intent of getting a hug.
I feel like a deer being stalked and she looks like sad puppy when I don't reach out - i'm not sure how to explain, i'm just not on a huggy wavelength with her anymore and im not sure i can shake that?

My immediate thought was that its DH's mum, so DH's problem, but their relationship has bounced back.
Its my relationship with MIL that needs work and because of that I think i'm the one that needs to do something - but i don't know what or how!?

Ok, so have I got this right? with some thinking and intentional delivery you could handle telling her more than you are comfortable with , recognising that is still a very normal amount of sharing eg your dad bought a house and you are helping him move. However you still can’t deal with this situation because she will continue with ever more intrusive questions eg the size of your dad’s mortgage (which I agree is no one’s business). Does that sound about right? So is what you need strategies to decide a normal amount of info and also to close the questioning? Perhaps a stock list: oh I wouldn’t discuss their finances, oh I won’t go into the politics , goodness you’d have to ask them, etc and for all those ignore any lip wobble?

Call her on things,
How big is your dad's mortgage? I would rather not say as we don't want it broadcast around.
How did your doctors go? I'd rather not say. Nothing unusual...
What colour are you knickers.? why on earth do you need to know that...

Timeisnotaline, Thankyou!
I’ll try be more vocal on the generic things and make some mental notes of easy redirects when she’s searching for more.

we were happy to tell her my plans re: helping dad, and I redirected when it got to the gritty details, the part I wasn’t happy about was having my life used like a show&tell item.