Was it harder being a housewife in the olden days?

[bubbles092]

Just that really! I am actually so curious to see how hard housewives actually worked in the olden days (30s-70s?)

Now, we are so lucky we are able to afford things like getting a cleaner, going to work, having a washing machine, dishwasher, etc! Back then, I can't even imagine how hard it must've been for them to look after their children, handwashing clothes, housework, cooking dinner from scratch... no convenience food whatsoever.

Some people sit at home on their phones and social media all day and everything gets neglected. I really would love to see and live in them times! Seemed a lot more productive back then!

Gosh, I grew up in the olden days
I live a similar lifestyle sahm for over 25 years, The difference is my dh isn't at home at 5.30 every evening ready to take over, he's usually at home anyway.
I look back with fondness and hours of playing with friends whilst our mums had coffee and chatted.
Housework was harder, fewer mod cons, but there were days to do certain things and I never remember housework and kids being the only thing my mum did.
She was out several nights a week volunteering, choir, WI, and writing her own books.
We had fridges and the freezer bit at the top would store some meat for the week, you didn't have to shop all the time, my mum did a weekly shop on a Friday.
We also had gas fires, no dirty coal.
The 70's saw the end of coal, there were strikes, and 3 day work to rule.
We had riots too, aw, those were the days.
But seriously, I wouldn't swop for the world today.

I mean I would swop for the world today.
Too much consumerism, greed, people running round like headless chickens, very little family life, both parents having to work.

I was born in the 50s and honestly, every time I turn on the hot tap, put the washing machine on, take food out of the freezer or come home to a warm house in the winter I think how marvellous modern life is.

I hand washed nappies and dried them outside (they froze solid in the winter!) and I started married life in a tiny flat with an outside toilet - no bathroom or hot water - I had to heat water for washing clothes in saucepans and wash myself in a basin - so yes it was much tougher in the 'olden days' ie the 70s.

But of course, us 'baby boomers' have had it easy!

Consumerism and greed have become very polarised, though, I think?

The real gap isn't between now and the 1970s, it's between rich people now and poor people now.

And I cross posted with munch, but she illustrates it.

There are people without central heating (and far more who can't afford to use it) today. There are people who don't own freezers or can't afford the food to put in them.

It's not that I don't appreciate how affordable a lot of conveniences have become. But it's only some conveniences and only for some people. For every person who assumes a dishwasher, a tumble drier and central heating are just standard basics, there's someone else who can't afford them.

There's a great non fiction book called Can Any Mother Help Me? by Jenna Bailey which has lots of women writing about their lives in the 20th century. And bringing up children and housework is mentioned frequently. The also talk about a lot of other things too, as varied as stuff on mumsnet. It's a brilliant read!

Yeah it was probably harder work but they were mainly off their tits on lithium so swings and roundabouts...

I think it was harder in the old days. Open fires, cleaning out the grate, old fashioned washing machines (if you were lucky), with a wringer on top. Having to go food shopping every day.

If reasonably well off it wasn't so bad because a cleaner could be employed and bed linen sent to the laundry but for most it was tough. Heating water in a copper boiler and all that. Cold bathrooms - and only one, even for a big family.

Had I been young in those days I wouldn't have married. I could have managed myself well enough but no way would I have waited on a man hand and foot and that was usually expected of women when they married. I'd have been an independent woman with a decent job living in a little flat on my own (I'd have the occasional visitor ;) ).

Romany roots

It's funny you say that as I feel so sad for my grandmothers who were born in the "wrong" generations for their personalities/situation. My maternal grandmother married a military officer and was basically forced to stay home, raise 4 children, she would have loved to have been a career woman, I often think she probably wouldn't even have kids at all today. My paternal grandmother raised my dad as a single mother, was ostracised by many in the family. Both women punished by the constraints of the time. I understand why some people look back at the "simpler" times and it certainly isn't perfect, but I'm grateful to live today, I only hope we progress further by the time my children are grown. Their experiences have been a big influence on me doing what I want to do with my life.

Shove my toddler out to play on the step whilst I scrubbed, knowing that cleaning and cooking (albeit time intensive compared to now) were about my only responsibilities...compared to running around like a maniac between work, children, children's activities/school appointments, a million other jobs on the to do list, and yet more work whilst squeezing in the housework, admin and cooking and still feeling like a failure because Ruth down the road is an instastar with her shiz looking shiny whilst I can't. physically. spin. another. plate. Hmm

Physically it was harder. I had to do coal fires, boil kettles for hot water, had an outside loo, no bathroom and do all washing by hand in the sink. Carrying shopping was heavy and was done every day. Also cooking 3 meals a day and washing up was hard. Men were not expected to help and women were grateful if the had a ‘good’ husband.

The big difference , I think was a lot of women just expected and accepted that life without question. I passed the 11 plus but girls was still taught dressmaking, cookery and houscraft. How to clean shoes and silver!. We were not expected to use our education.

I was a happy and contented housewife because everyone I knew was the same. The hardest thing was the lonliness. There were no toddler clubs or play groups. Once the housework was done I would spend the afternoons walking the children in the park. Evenings were spent sewing, mending or knitting.

My grandmother was in service in a large house. She used to get one day off a month and the stories she told me of her daily routine were awful by today's standards. I remember when my mum and dad never had a fridge and we used a twin tub to wash clothes. Everything was line dried or put on the kitchen "pulley" which hung on the ceiling of the kitchen. We never had central heating but open fires.

I still have open fires in our house although we have central heating but I couldn't bear to tear those fires out. We have them in every room although we don't light the bedroom ones.

My mum always cooked from scratch and baked a lot, it was normal for the children to eat after the farm workers had been fed - we always waited on our meals. Thinking back, my parents worked incredibly hard.

“We are so lucky to be able to afford things like a cleaner...dishwasher etc”.

Speak for yourself Some of us still can’t. I was lucky that the place I’m renting has a washing machine left by a previous tenant...otherwise I’d have to learn to hand wash most of our clothes for the time being, ah the joy

With you there Angharad07

The hardest thing was the lonliness. There were no toddler clubs or play groups. Once the housework was done I would spend the afternoons walking the children in the park. Evenings were spent sewing, mending or knitting.

That sounds so hard. I constantly feel so grateful for the internet that means you're always in reach of someone. I wish so much my mum had had it. She would have found it a real lifeline, and as it was, she was just so lonely. That's the 80s not the 70s or before, but still. Different world.

It was obviously harder during the time before modern appliances!

This thread has just reminded me of something else. Our first Christmas my husband excitedly took me to the back yard to show me my present. It was a mangle. I was really pleased and thought him the best husband ever. He had been doing a second job in the Bookies to pay for it. My present for him was a hand knitted jumper which I had been doing in secret. Somehow I managed to sew one sleeve in wrong so it was shorter than the other one. He still wore it though.

Angharad

To be fair my parents and grandparents couldn't have afforded dishwashers or cleaners, but I can, why? Because I went to university and we have a professional job and we are a double income household (all through my choices), of course not every family does this, but it's an option for many more women now than it used to be, my mum although only 50s was never encouraged into university and professional work, although she was a working mum. I don't know the stats on disposable income now and if more families have more? I guess housing doesn't help but food is a much smaller expense than it used to be, even to the 90s.

My DH earned £17 gross a week much less after 33% tax. He gave me £ 9 for housekeeping, coal and clothes . He paid our rent £3.10s. and the gas and electric bills.

Lots of things I've read suggest that people were at the mercy of the boiler, heated by coal or coke, to heat and for the cooking range. A bit like an aga, I think?

In that you use agas for heating and cooking.

In the early 60's my mum had no washing machine. It was all done by hand and dried on the pulley. No hoover, just a carpet sweeper. We lived in a one bedroomed flat and she used to haul the big heavy pram with my brother in it (no pushchairs in those days) up and down the 3 flights of stairs every time we went out. She shopped most days a week. No central heating, just open fires that had to be cleaned out and relit every morning. We also had no bath or shower so had to go to the public baths for this. But she didn't have to take me to places to play with other children. No after school activities. Big gangs of children played together outside in the streets from a very young age and we went to and from school alone from age 5. So while housework etc was much harder there was more time to do it because she didn't have to entertain me. She always listened to the radio and we did have a tv. Nobody in our street had a car. No record player until the 70's. It was harder physically but I think must have been much less stressful. No one to compare yourself with apart from neighbours who were all in the same boat. No pressure to get back to your formal size after giving birth. No worrying about getting children into 'good'schools. Everyone went to the nearest school. Btw I don't have a dishwasher or a tumble dryer or a cleaner.

I often think of my mother when I leave for work in the morning with one machine washing my clothes and another machine washing my dishes. I had quite a posh, affluent upbringing but my mother was pretty unusual (for a woman those circumstances in the 70s) in that she always worked - but she didn't leave the house with those machines doing her chores. It can't have been easy.

Kit10

Many similarities, my mum wanted to work.
She wasn't allowed by ss, so she never regretted it.
But she passed 11+, wanted to be a teacher, but her mum wouldn't let her go to the grammar school.
So many men lost in the war and a shop that needed help.
We talked at great length about it, she did so much for so many people. She was awarded community volunteer, services to old people with at least 25 years service.
An amazing woman, I miss her so much and she gave up so much for us kids.

Romany

It makes me so sad to think of these women who couldn't live the lives they wanted, one life to live and it's wasted purely because of the society they are born into, I know it still happens today (not just to women) for various reasons but so grateful for the freedom I have had. I live for them.