How to simplify Christmas but still make it special for kids

[gunge]

Had a recent bereavement in the family and to be frank I can't face Christmas this year . Also my DH and I are completely exhausted.
However I want it to be really nice still for the kids.
Any tips about how you have had quieter, simpler more restful Christmases but kept the sparkle for the children?

Must add that I normally adore Christmas and make an effort.

stay at home with just the DC for Christmas day and see relations at other times. I find even just having the day itself just our little family very restorative.

Vouchers/cash all round.

Get the kids to do all the decorating, just let them get on with it. Cook something that is easy and that you all like, use ready made stuff even when you wouldn't normally.

and treat youself. Last year I went to a carol service at a cathedral, just me and a mate and it was beautiful, just perfect.

for your bereavement. I've been in your position (ish) [it was a diagnosis rather than a loss at the time, and a birthday not Christmas, but close enough!]

I think you need to make sure the day is still planned so the children don't get bored. Depends on their ages, but make sure some of the presents include things they can play with there and then for a while.

On line shopping and ready made food?

Sounds like you need things to treat yourself to as well!

These are all good tips thanks
Is it okay to not do cards? Just thinking what I can ditch to make it easier.
I've insisted it's just us on the day which helps. We can see family other days.

Yes I think we will cook the basics ourselves but trimmings and extras can be ready made.

Get the children to do the family cards. Rest I would leave if you're not up to it (though I love cards, so that's one thing I would enjoy doing).

does their school do Cards for Xmas? Then you don't even have to shop for any!

Don't do cards. Or teacher presents.

I had a couple of years like this. A frozen cook in the bag turkey crown from Iceland was absolutely fine, we didn't miss the brined nigella special I usually do. Lidl frozen roast potatoes in goose fat were gorgeous, as were the parsnips.

Presents for people you won't see on the day can be bought from amazon and sent direct.

Concentrate on the stockings, a family present like a game, a good present for each kid and a new film for Christmas afternoon.

New (Tesco/Asda/sainsburies) PJs towelling robe and slippers for everyone on Christmas Eve.

I never do cards - just say I'm saving the trees! A calm day at home is great for the kids anyway. If you have a tree and presents and some nice food they'll be happy enough. Then watch films, play board games or family games like charades. Don't bother with a roast just cook something quick that everyone likes. I'm doing a load of finger food for Xmas day this year and will be in my pjs all day!

Yes there will be nice stockings and pressies for the kids. I've always loved doing the stockings and I know I'll still love it this year.
New films yes! I envisage lots of snuggling up in PJs with films.

I had a christmas when I was emotionally drained like this.

I am usually hugely into christmas, but on this occasion I completely surrendered all control. No cards. No agonising over the perfect tree. The children decorated and we went to relatives’ for the day itself. Presents were vouchers and a token small gift of chocolate. We cancelled all other social engagements, and stayed home with good wine and food.

Not only did I survive it, but it was incredibly relaxing and rejuvenating to step back and literally not care.

The children apparently didn’t notice that we had done things differently!

Wishing you a relaxing and happy christmas, however you do it.

I’m sorry for your bereavement. Our Christmasses are very low key but always special.

I love Christmas but don’t really take it beyond my four walls after 23rd Dec. I don’t do cards, food shop in the internet for delivery on 23rd. I might go out on my own Xmas eve morning to pick up any bits. It’s just me and my four DCs. It’s all about closing off from the world and rugging up together. Take away Xmas eve night and a Christmas Eve box. Xmas day is Santa and presents, cooking and eating. Their dad usually comes for lunch.

That’s really it. We might see people on Boxing Day, or we come out blinking into the light on the 27th.

I try to make home somewhere where they want to be together (teens) so it’s decorated with lights, food that’s become a tradition (selection box rocky road, while watching Elf) and Santa still comes (regardless).

It’s ok to do this. Sometimes I think I should involve others more but that’s not how we’ve done it in 16 years - and now the DCs have very firm ideas of how we do Christmas.

You might find it’s the way forward for you.

Apart from the cards is there any aspect that sticks out as already being a hassle?

Christmas will be especially difficult for me this year too, OP. Emotionally and financially.

I came across this thread in Classics and it’s absolutely beautiful, I cried through it. Posters’ memories of childhood Christmases and not one mentions gifts - it’s all about how they felt, the warmth, the love and things like 80s foil decorations, the old Roses tins... it made me realise that this is what it’s all about. Your children will have you - that’s what they’ll remember.

This year, I’m giving the big dinner a kiss because it’ll just be me and my daughter (6) she isn’t fussed on veg and gravy so we’ve decided to have buffet food and just pick as we please. And as she’s asked Father Christmas for a scooter, we are planning on a long walk in the morning. Can you do this?

I’ll no doubt have a good cry in the evening when she’s in bed, but at least she won’t know!

Treat yourselves to new pyjamas and treats.

Sorry - this is the thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3088590-The-simple-things-you-remember-most-about-Christmas

*oh please proof read before posting Pearl!

Giving the dinner a ‘miss’... not kiss!

And so sorry for your loss,

Pearl - that’s a fabulous thread, thank you!

I usually host a Xmas party - have done for years. But wasn’t going to this year. It’s made my mind up for me - mainly because I want my DCs to one day say ‘every year my mum had a Christmas party, the adults would get drunk and sing and dance in the kitchen - always an epic Christmas party’ 😄

Apologies for hijack OP.

Last year I ordered all ready made stuff I found difficult to do myself for the dinner - so gravy, some sides, dessert etc and got frozen canapés for bits. Made a HUGE difference to stress levels on the day

I've previously not done cards, and said I was giving the cash to charity; ditto with presents for adults

Things that seem a lot of extra hassle these days (I sound like an old git I know...) are the concept of stuff like christmas eve boxes, matching pajamas, all the making it 'magical' with christmas markets, santa etc. I find the latter way too busy and stressful and I imagine most kids (under a certain age anyway) do too

Can you sit down wth the kids beforehand and chat about stuff you might want to do - maybe get them al to pick a favorite board game, film etc to watch over the christmas period?

@Nicknamesalltaken

It’s a lovely thread, I’ve read it a few times and I still get weepy! I’ve always tried to be like Instagram-worthy when it comes to Christmas (Elf on the Shelf, marching pyjamas etc) and this thread just reminds me it’s not worth all that hassle. Warm home, yummy treats and films and just doing what makes us happy xx

Go out for Xmas lunch for sure !!

Cook a Christmas Eve roast dinner
Then have Christmas Day as a family day, opening presents, watching films & eating leftovers
Boxing Day go for a family walk or see if there is anything like a duck race or xcross to watch, then home for games & films

Spending time together as a family is really lovely and children love the attention