Start of a Mental Breakdown

[abittersweetsymphony]

NC as outing, Longtime MNer but finally found the courage to speak up (I think!) 

I've written this Thread 1000 times but never posted, but guess this means finally admitting that I'm not coping.
I'm at the beginning of a Breakdown, I don't know if it's Mental / or Nervous : or whatever the term is but it's now Morning, Noon and Night.
The pressure in my Head, what feels like throbbing in my skull and the constant anxiety that something will go wrong.
The feeling of utter fear that I may have misplaced my Car keys, or spill a Drink or God Forbid hit traffic and be late for Work (I leave an hour early for a 15 Minute journey just to make sure that doesn't happen.)
I judge myself, I criticise myself, I forever put myself down and am disgusted by Myself.
I am a Successful Business Woman, I have a Wonderful DH, 2 Beautiful DCs , a lovely Home and large circle of friends who adore Me. Not a single person in my Life knows what I hide and now I feel like I might just Pop and never be able to put myself back together again.
The Tears started Yesterday evening and they haven't stopped yet, DH will be so worried when he returns home from Work but I haven't a clue where to start explaining.
Has anyone been through anything similar? Sorry for wobbling on but please be gentle, it's taken a lot to write this Post..

I haven’t been through similar but I know that you have to tell your DH.
You need his support.
And then contact your GP.
If you can’t get the words out, show them this post.

There is help out there.

Please read this, and if it seems to help - buy the book (if you can afford it) www.alisonwagner.co.uk/media/Depressive%20Illness%20-%20Curse%20of%20the%20Strong.docx.

Depressive illness is a physical illness, caused by trying too hard to cope with too much for too long. You would probably benefit from some medication to give your brain some space to heal. And then some talking therapy, preferably CBT to help you challenge negative patterns of thinking. Be honest with your GP, please try not to be embarrassed to ask for help.