Many years ago when I was at university and when I initially started work I was friends with this man. I had a sort of crush on him really although it was never serious he is 10 years older than me and in a long term relationship. It ws more that I admored him and looked it to him as he was very talented and was doing what I wanted to do.
Once I left college I went to work for him for a while before branching out on my own. I eventually left that career but we stayed in touch and I considered him a friend.
As I said I used to hero worship him but as I got older I stopped doing that and saw him more warts and all but I still did like him but I have felt that he prefered it when I was the young girl who adored him and looked up to him. We have struggled to establish a more peer like dynamic and I have felt like he has tried to "neg" me a bit in recent years to sort of put me back in my place. The upshot is that the friendship feels a bit awkward now.
I still keep in touch and send him a card at christmas and on his birthday and email but he doesn't reciprocate really. He does call or email me sometimes but he asks very probing questions and demands to know about my work etc as if he is evaluating me and as a result I end up being guarded and not giving much away which he then finds frustrating. Its just turned into a weird relationship and I have thought about not sending cards and disengaging with him but I feel sad about letting the friendship go as he was once a very important person to me.
I guess I would like to hear opinions from others, what would you do?