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Original poster

Do you look after your nieces and nephews?

21 replies

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 04/11/2018 19:47

And how often?

We have three nephews and due to sibling relationships and location we see one more than the others. This one is also close in age to our dc so sleepovers and activities have been fairly easy to include them, and ours with theirs too.

The others however are still babies and it has been hinted that we should be having them too. I don’t feel ready and wondered if I’m out of order for not offering. I know it’s tough with littlies and feel bad. They aren’t the easiest of babies and I know mum is struggling. Wwyd?

OP posts:

WhyAmISoCold · 04/11/2018 20:43

Nope. 1 I haven't even met as I don't really have a relationship with that sibling, the others are a real handful and a lot younger than mine and I'm just not doing it. None of my siblings have mine either and they are well behaved. 1 sibling has done it in the past but I didn't like the way they were with them in their (sibling's) house so I didn't ask again. This sibling has offered childcare but I know I would be expected to reciprocate and I'm not up to it so I don't take them up on it.

WhyAmISoCold · 04/11/2018 20:45

I'm with you btw, I think when they are close in age with your own, it's much better and if any of my nieces and nephews were then I would, but they aren't. I remember staying with cousins but it was all the ones who were similar age to me, not the ones with the age gaps.

reallyshortarse · 04/11/2018 20:47

no, neither myself or my husband have any, but probably would have,but only for an hour or so at a time

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AppleKatie · 04/11/2018 20:50

In a pinch sure, but regularly and sleepovers? No.

And that goes both ways. Frankly whilst they are young what’s the point in forcing sleepovers when they’d rather be with their parents.

They are all under 8 at the moment. Later on perhaps. But if I’m honest only if their behaviour improves.

Howhot · 04/11/2018 20:58

SIL helps with the morning school run often which I am very grateful for. I would never expect offers 'just because' though. She's never babysat for us but would if she could, if we asked. I'd help them out too and we help now and again with school pick up. We'd always help if they were stuck but wouldn't offer for no reason IYSWIM.

I'd be unimpressed at any hints OP, you don't owe them anything. I totally know what you mean about location/activities etc.

2128Cl · 04/11/2018 21:04

I don't. I might help with the school run if they go to the same school as my DS in future but I don't have time for anything else.

DonaldDucksTowel · 04/11/2018 21:04

Yes quite regularly, my two eldest nieces (16 & 10, not sisters) will often text me when they fancy coming round and I have the younger ones whenever, I have travel cots specifically for them, we often bring them home from family parties with us as we have young babies so are always the first to leave so will usually bring the kids home with us
My siblings have ours too but not as much as we have our nieces, for no particular reason really, we have 4dc so people don’t really have all 4 but they will go and see/stay at siblings in different combinations
DPs siblings don’t have any DC yet but I’ll be just as happy to have any babies I’m given

DaysDragonBy · 04/11/2018 21:06

No, never. I'm not respectable enough

SoyDora · 04/11/2018 21:06

I don’t have any nieces or nephews, but SIL has never looked after ours, no. She’d have no idea what to do with them.

VenusClapTrap · 04/11/2018 22:13

I had a niece I barely knew (I’d met her twice) to stay for three weeks in the summer holidays in order to help out in a crisis. It was fine, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it.

treaclesoda · 04/11/2018 22:17

Yes, some of them. I have loads. The ones who are closest in age to my kids are at my house all the time, it's like their second home. And vice versa, my kids treat their house like a second home too. It works for us.

morekidsthanhands · 04/11/2018 22:19

Not a usual situation but my niece and nephew live with us as foster children.
I have others that I see probably monthly but don't have them for sleepovers etc.

Crunchymum · 04/11/2018 22:22

I have 9 on my side and 5 on DP side (all barring one are aged under 10). Plus we have 3 of our own.

No we don't look after any of them as a rule. We help out if need be but it's not expected.

Seren96 · 04/11/2018 22:24

Love having mine over. Sleep over maybe twice a month. Isn't reciprocated as often but that isn't why I do it, and I recognise me and my sister are different and she doesn't enjoy children as much as I do.

ThePencil · 04/11/2018 22:24

The ones who are close in age to our DCs, yes. The others, from time to time if their parents are stuck.

In your situation, I think I'd try to take a bit of pressure off the parents by taking a baby out for a short while (if it's possible, depending on location etc). Eg if I was going shopping, I'd offer to take a baby with me, or something like that. I wouldn't be offering to have them to stay except in an emergency, though.

TroysMammy · 04/11/2018 22:27

I pick my niece up from school once a week and we do stuff. I'd never have her for a sleepover because she can't be trusted to stay in her own bed and I don't wear night wear. I've told her the reason why and she never asks to stay.

Aria2015 · 04/11/2018 22:33

Very occasionally if I've been asked. We all live close but I'd only ever ask if I was really stuck. I don't really want to get in the habit of anything, mostly because I think it would end up one sided (with me doing the most babysitting).

Ragwort · 04/11/2018 22:37

Mine vary a lot in age but we were incredibly close to one set & I used to babysit every single weekend to give the parents a night out. We also used to have the children for sleepovers. Very happy times, sadly we have all now moved away from each other & haven’t seen each other for years.

PodgeBod · 04/11/2018 22:38

I have one nephew and I look after him sometimes, I've had him overnight twice and sometimes take him to baby groups to give his mum a break because she is a single mum so wouldn't get one otherwise. She sometimes has my 2 (the older one more then the younger). We are very close though. I would have him more if my own children weren't so young.

AtSea1979 · 04/11/2018 22:40

No not at all but if they were struggling and it didn’t affect my ability to function then I would absolutely help them out

PoesyCherish · 04/11/2018 22:44

I've only had my nephew for a couple of hours and that was when he was a few months old. Never had him overnight and he's three now. Though that's more to do with geographical location than anything else.

I think if the parents are struggling and you can help then that's fab but you're definitely under no obligation too.

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