Please share stories of the worst work colleagues you've ever had

[BadMoodBoard]

and how you dealt with them

For the past year, the lady I share an office with:

hasn't allowed me to turn the light on (as it gives her a migraine)
eats an egg sandwich most breakfasts
eats a full roast dinner on her desk every lunchtime (fish and chips on Fridays)
Flosses her teeth on her desk
Interrupts all my conversations, butts in, takes over
Asks insidious questions designed to show me who's in charge and sometimes to drop me in it
Will make a song and a dance about her personal plans when I am trying to focus on my work

I hate her

As an office junior aged 16 I had a Supervisor who would turn all the office lights off and leave when she was finished for the day even though I was till sat there working.

She also took the filing cabinet keys home as she noticed I had left them on the side. I had a sleepless tearful night worrying about how to explain the next day. She walked in with a big grin and said 'Looking for these by any chance Sparkling?' waving the keys in my face. Said it would teach me not to leave them lying around in future.

Eek, so I do this: hasn't allowed me to turn the light on (as it gives her a migraine). I appreciate she sounds awful, but that one needs some sympathy. Some days I just physically can't cope with light at work and it's bloody awful.

And my own - a HoD that deliberately targeted me as her whipping post because I was too young to know how to argue or fight back. She made my life hell and unfortunately I waited until I was leaving to report her behaviour to the Head. She's now a member of SLT seems about the right qualifications!

Oh my god Sparkling mine switches printers off the wall if she ever leaves the office before me, leaving me without the ability to print!!

Nyon I am sympathetic to an extent. She hasn't been flexible or open to finding a compromise and does not give a shit that working in the dark give ME a headache.

I have no idea why they do it BadMood, just to establish who is boss presumably. I tend to be extra nice to newbies, especially young ones.

It was a bit crap because I was bullied through High School and left to get away from it.

A manager. Total dick and everyone hated him. It was a restaurant and I was 16 and the commis/prep chef. During Christmas period I was asked to come in at 8am to prep and work til 2. 7 hours. Not too long a shift for a part timer. Come 2pm it had gotten busy and I still hadn't had chance to have a break (not even the toilet). I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast.

He wouldn't let me leave. I asked if I could call my dad as I was supposed to be home for something. He said, "call him later! You need to do XXX and XXX now!" And sent me back to the kitchen.
Every time I tried to go to the toilet or to get a drink I was sent back with him screaming orders at me. (Not an unheard of occurrence in a busy kitchens) we finally finished at midnight. It was 12:30pm by the time I had cleaned down and I had not eaten or drank a single thing since before 8am. That was a 16.5 hour shift with absolutely no break.

I got home to a furious dad. Apparently he'd called and even came in numerous times and I had refused to see him and told him I would call him back. I had done neither. The manager just told him I'd said it. I can't believe that I put up with that but I was young and too afraid to assert my legal rights at work.

**edit 12:30AM when I left.

Not me, but a colleague at a former workplace shared a small office with a guy who'd look at porn and wank when she was out. One day she left for the day but realised she'd left her car keys on her desk and returned to the office to find the door locked. She knocked and after a few minutes her colleague opened it and the room smelled of semen.

I was had a colleague who smelt so bad I would retch when too close to her. I’m the sort of person who can clean up pools of vomit without wincing, so I knew she was bad.
She would shout instead of talking. She spat when shouting too, and needless to say her teeth were far from clean.

Someone who had such bad teeth I’d start retching if he can’t within 6 feet of me . Ditto one with smelly hair. Both IT. When I had hyperemesis I needed someone else to deal with them as the mere thought made me chuck.
Someone who thought that leaving last for the day made them hardest worker and most important. Some of us used to deliberately outsit them 😂
Too many bad bosses to mention.

Eating crisps at their desk. Munching loudly with their mouth open, smacking their lips, licking their fingers, then loudly scrunching up the bag for what feels like 5 minutes. All this while criticising other people's bad manners throughout.

A teacher colleague - my year partner in fact - when I was an NQT. I'd printed off a set of worksheets for the next day's lesson and left the photocopier running up in the staff room. Went down to sort something else out and forgot. Went to talk to her, she'd just returned from the staff room and I said, "oh! I must fetch those worksheets!"

She replied, "Oh, yes. They were on the side so I just chucked them in the bin."

I'd printed off two sets, one for her class out of kindness and she was completely dismissive and rude about it! It wasn't uncharacteristic at all, she was a generally hideous person. This would out me as I've mentioned this to others before but she did a whole parents evening session berating a child to their horrified mum and dad, only to reach the door and announce, in that same dismissive and not-arsed way, "oh, I was talking about a different child. Your child is fine. Goodbye." !

A lazy ass colleague who used to flirt non stop with the bloke next to her, quietly pick her phone up and put it down again when it rang, let piles of work build up so the supervisor would come and give most of it to me to do and was generally shit at her job. One day I was doing her work yet again when my phone rang and I left it to ring onto hers as I wanted to get to lunch and she snapped that it should have been my call. I lost it big time and told her to fuck off. Very loudly in the office. I stormed out for my lunch and calmed down and was slightly panicking about what the bosses would say (they heard me). I went back and explained everything and she got moved away to sit away from most others, although still by me. When she still stayed shit, she got shunted into another department.

I'm now working with someone vaguely similar in that she isn't great at her job and leaves me to do a lot more and just hand picks the stuff she wants to do. Being a bit older and wiser, I won't be telling her to fuck off as I reckon I was lucky not to lose my job before! But I'm getting very irritated by her. She also called some snacks "yum yums" and for that alone I reckon I could toss her out the window and IWNBU.

The guy who shaved his balls in the disabled toilet - on a regular basis - took some beating off.

Used to tell me how "urgh, disgusting!" I looked, would gleefully tell me how I'd put weight on once I hit 30 (I was a uk 12, so not a waif anyway!), would take my food right out the packet without asking, as I was holding it, call me over to point out on screen my sales results vs hers and "Oh, look - I'm doing really well!", liked to try and get me in trouble, liked to gloat over my perceived failures etc etc etc. A 35 year old woman. She was friends with our 25 year old boss though ( I was also 25), so I never stood a chance. She got given all the good sales leads too.

I have an incredibly nasty old crow for a colleague. Can't abide her, she does4 days a week so I get 1 days in peace. Shes negative, nosy, bitchy and takes pleasure in watching peoples misfortunes.

Oh and an ex male colleague bullied me so badly I went off sick. He used to wear Joop and I can't smell it with out feeling ill. He was so fucked up in the head he lied about his own dad having a heart attack so he didn't have to come into work. Utter snake.

Worked with many, many terrible retail managers. The worst were pharmacy managers (often pharmacists who end up running pharmacy shops with zero retail experience). Once when I was a young, struggling single mum with a young child and I was working at Sainsbury’s pharmacy this vile woman who was from a very wealthy family (relevant, because it shaped her very strong views about young single mums like me) - she would change the rota without me knowing and put me on Saturdays and Sundays every week so I’d go in and be told to go home and come back on Saturday etc, she’d ignore me all day except to make snide comments and I was too afraid of losing my job to say anything.

I hated that job, I earned £742 a month for a 40 hour week and my direct debits came to £640. I was so poor and never worked so hard in my life, and I’ll never forget that woman’s lack of kindness or compassion.

I had a really nice dress I wore for work, it had pinstripes.

Colleague asked me 'Are you going to wear that dress all day Sparkling?' Claimed it gave her a headache. Or something.

I have worked with several compulsive liars. I am a police officer and this is dangerous for the public and for the rest of us.

One died, two have been sacked and one remains. Quite how these people stay in their jobs amazes me but whenever I catch her lying to me I call her out or will tell her supervisor.

I hate dishonesty.

Yep! I lasted 3 months my predecessor lasted 6 months and the one before 2 days - I know it wasn't me!!!

Have one price of work at a time and buggered off to meetings leaving several staff with nothing to do, complained loudly how busy she was and in the office til 7pm -
refused to call an ambulance to a child with a broken limb - mother was rightly furious and she bar ratted her in the office as to why we should've call an ambulance!!!
Would say loudly X you did this wrong shall I ask Y to do it right???
If you were ever late - she'd rant about how much she loved work and would never be late and how poor time keeping was a sign of how much you disliked your job and has no professionalism.

Anyway I left.

I worked with a husband and wife who actovely plotted my downfall. They would refuse to co-operate with me. At all. and report me for the slightest imagined infraction. I repeatedly reported this and got no where. So I left and came to a financial settlement with my hopeless manager who ignored all my warnings. If they hadn't been such a joke (really bad at their jobs), I would have planned a revenge. I think they were really unhappy people united against a common enemy.

A boss who used to put the radiator on in August and refused to allow us to open a window, was morbidly obese and would scrutinise everyone’s lunches, would talk about her adventures on Tinder and regularly show dick pictures of her dates, but would berate us if we stopped work to chat for 5 minutes (rarely). I actually cried with happiness when she announced she was emigrating and left the job.

Currently working with a difficult woman. She is pregnant, so hopefully it’s hormones.
Initially she was nice and friendly but now it seems she can’t be arsed to make any effort. If I try to make conversation with her, just good morning etc, she shuts me down immediately. She also seems to deliberately take me up wrong when I say something, for example, if I ask how she is feeling she will snap and tell me to stop banging on about her health. Er no, I was just making a general enquiry with my morning greeting.
Needless to say I have stopped bothering.
I’ll be glad when her maternity leave starts.

Someone I worked with was so unbelievably shit at his job but protected by the boss who for some reason loved him. He missed important deadlines, despite having a year to get something done. People on his team didn’t understand what he was trying to do and got so annoyed that they’d leave the room!

He didn’t do what he was asked, wouldn’t take advice despite appearing grateful for the one to one coaching, then when a new boss arrived who wouldn’t tolerate his bs, took the piss with leave so it took ages to get him out. Also ‘forgot’ his wallet every single time we went out for drinks. Pure wanker.

Whyamisocold.... there are actual snacks called yum yums and they are indeed yum yum (no, I’m not your colleague).

Once shared an office with a man who at 11 every morning, unpacked from his lunch box, a 2 finger KitKat - in the days when they were foiled wrapped. He'd carefully undo the paper wrapper and then run his finger down the foil between the 2 KitKat fingers before noisily separating them.
The fingers were carefully placed on the top of his lunch box whilst he went to make a hot drink (for himself only 😠).
He would then eat one of the fingers - after breaking it into two halves. The remaining finger was carefully wrapped in its foil and placed on the second shelf of the communial fridge.
At 3pm the process was repeated with the remaining finger. After months of this precise ritual being carried out opposite me, I used to make my way to the photocopier just before he started.

He also made us take the bird feeder attached to the window (5 desks away) down as the noise of the tiny birds, robins, Blue Tits, Sparrows, landing on the plastic feeder spoilt his concentration - he made an official complaint about this sigh

Worst thing though was he ran to work and always wore loose, baggy shorts. He'd stand with one foot (at a time) raised on a low box, flexing his calf muscles as he 'warmed down' ... in the process giving anyone in the room a daily glimpse or two of his penis.

Was I glad when this fixed term contract ended