Kid blowing bubbles in restaurant. Mum kicked off when asked by waitress to make him stop.

[JumpsuitQ213]

A friend of mine went out for lunch with a group of mums and their kids. One of the kids (7yo) is mildly autistic and has ADHD. Goes to main stream school and to talk to him you wouldn’t know about the autism, etc. He’s no more fidgety than loads of other kids.

So in the restaurant today he pulls out bubbles and is blowing them all over the place. Popping on other people, on food, etc.

Waitress asked his mum for him to stop and mum kicked off and ripped waitress a new arsehole “for disrespecting my kid”.

I do have sympathy for kids who may struggle to behave in social situations though I admit having met this kid I don’t think he needs that much allowance made for him. I’d have more sympathy for someone with severe learning difficulties.

But surely if you can’t sit in a restaurant without popping soapy bubbles over everyone’s food then you leave?

JingsMahBucket literally nobody has saif=d the child should have been allowed to continue blowing bubbles and irritating other people.

People who are autistic/have an autistic child do tend to pounce when they see the "mild autism" fallacy though, because it's harmful and needs challenging.

If he was blowing bubbles and not interfering with other diners, then i’m Sure there wouldn’t be a problem.

Why on earth is this considered acceptable public behaviour?? It's not your living room or a bloody playground. It's a restaurant!

@JumpsuitQ213 glad the idiot mother left.

Absolutely ridiculous letting a child blow bubbles in a restaurant in the first place.

So now we don't even need to have witnessed something ourselves to get people frothing. It's enough just to claim 'my friend said this happened' and people start on about special snowflakes and 'idiot' parents of kids with SN. Lovely.

Autism aside.

It’s not on for a kid to be blowing bubbles inside and where others are trying to enjoy their lunch.

The parent of the child shouldn’t have had the bubbles out and not tolerated them being blown.

Blimey, loads of her friends are joining in with the slagging off of the waitress on fb and saying it’s a good job they weren’t there as they’d have smacked her. Apparantly she complained to the manager and got 25% off for being made to feel so unwelcome.

Yes, if I was connected with the restaurant I wouldn't want the mum returning either! Wouldn't want to have to put up with that kind of behaviour. She could have found other ways to occupy her son but it was probably easier for her to take a bottle of bubbles out rather than other things that might have been bulkier or heavier, maybe they are her easier option rather than putting more effort into sorting something else out.

Also, if she is all over social media about it she might be angling for a few vouchers for a free meal. She might be the kind of person who milks situations for all she can get.

Also, ds1 is what we would describe as 'mildly autistic'. He was diagnosed with Aspergers when he was 12, part of the reason he was diagnosed pretty late in his childhood was because it was not blatantly obvious he has autism so wasn't diagnosed easily when he was younger. Mildly autistic is a very good description of his level of autism.

Ah, cross post, she already got a discount. Surprise, surprise.

The (possible) autism is irrelevant. You don't let your child blow bubbles in a restaurant. It's not okay with a three year old so it's not okay with an older child (with or without SN).

What about all the people who felt unwelcome because there were bubbles landing on them and also making the floor sticky

Autism is a spectrum so you can have "mild" although it tends to be called, high functioning rather than mild. Autism tends to be called ASD now, because it is a spectrum disorder, there is no official Aspergers anymore it's was swallowed up in the ASD diagnosis.

I have two children with ASD and ADHD (one diagnosed and another on the pathway), I can understand why she uses certain techniques like blowing bubbles, I can be an effective method, however, there is no way I would ever allow that in a restaurant. It is totally not the place and actually causes a heath and safety issue as it can be slippery. Plus who wants bubbles in their food! Crazy that the mother and others think that's an acceptable thing to do.

My kids have eaten out a lot so now used to it, It wasn't always easy and I totally get the stresses and why she would use certain techniques but I feel she absolutely made the wrong call on this one.

Ttheyhe restraunt could have said to stop but offered an alternative such as some paper and pens.

No Stressed - his MOTHER should have come prepared with a distraction item that wouldn't affect other customers.

Implying someone should leave because the have autism

It wasn't because he had autism - it was because he was ruining other people's meals.

Autism isn't a "get-out-of-jail-free" card for bad behaviour. My DD has Asperger's. She has very good manners - BUT it was a lot harder for her to learn what sort of behaviour was acceptable and what wasn't. It doesn't mean that she can't do it. It's the same for this child - he will have to live in a world that will NOT give him concessions for PITA behaviour.

His mother is doing him no favours in expecting everyone to cater to him, rather than teaching him that there are some things that he should not do.

Autism is a spectrum so you can have "mild" although it tends to be called, high functioning rather than mild. Autism tends to be called ASD now, because it is a spectrum disorder, there is no official Aspergers anymore it's was swallowed up in the ASD diagnosis

This is completely incorrect, high functioning does not mean ‘mild’, I actually despair when I see statements like this.
There is often severe depression, self harm and increased social isolation associated with high functioning autism.
It’s bloody insulting to describe it as ‘mild’. I don’t believe half the posts on this thread anyway so will leave you to it.

Categorising Asperger’s disorder as a milder type of autism is problematic because it implies that life is less challenging for a child with Asperger’s disorder compared to a child with autism=

But in some cases, young people with Asperger’s can suffer from more severe anxiety and depression than their peers who have been diagnosed with autism – and there is nothing mild about clinical anxiety and depression

theconversation.com/telling-the-difference-between-autism-and-aspergers-508

I wonder if mums with DCs like this are so stressed that they are unaware that others should be able in this case to eat in a restaurant without their food being affected by bubbles.
I know someone with a DC who is possibly ASD but not diagnosed afaik and the mum is so stress to borderline nasty to anyone who interferes or even if someone handles a situation with the DC but she still feels the need to "rip someone a new one".
It could be the stress or perhaps the mum has a problem or maybe even trying to get free passes or something.
I would not have been pleased to have had my foods with bubbles on the plate. The DC has to know that there are times to behave

Actually hollyswift there is such a thing as mild diabetes. Diabetes is a condition in which the body is unable to adequately maintain the correct blood sugar level. It can be mild, in which case dietary modification is sufficient to achieve control. Or is can be severe, requiring insulin.

And autism is a spectrum, so although the phrase “mild autism” isn’t generally used, it is an accurate concept.

It sounds like the bubble blowing situation could have been managed differently by the mother but I really posted to agree with other posters that 'high functioning' autism is not 'mild' autism!

Autism or not, the child should not have been blowing bubbles in a restaurant for all the reasons already stated by PP's. The parent needs to find an acceptable activity for her son to do in restaurants to keep him occupied and sitting on his seat. I say that as a parent of a (now adult) son who has HF ASD who we took to many restaurants when he was small and he was allowed to read books, colour or play small hand held electronic games with the sound turned off to keep himself occupied whilst waiting for food.

I trust that you have pointed out the error of your 'friend's' ways to her on the FB post and defended the waitress OP.

Why is the autism thing even being commented on. The mother could have seen it as acceptable because he has ADHD and it apparently calms him down but no one is talking about that.

No matter what he has, this was unacceptable, the mother is one of those parents and is a twat who's child will grow up to be an entitled idiot who thinks the world owes him a favour because mummy never told him no. And that has nothing to do with any diagnosis.

Schadenfreude any responsible parent sens or not takes a handbag full of similes to entertain their dc if they cannot sit content.
I do not in any way think it is the responsibility of the restraunt to provide entertainment for the child. But the fact the mother thinks it is acceptable to play with bubbles in a restraunt show how entitled she is, so it is wise to offer an alternative to stop the bubble and keep the child busy.

"Mild" autism is a complete misnomer.

The autistic spectrum is not linear.

@Shitlandpony ok, fair enough I see your point, I guess I was just explaining there were different degrees of autism, but I see what you mean about using the mild explanation.

I guess from my perspective, i was just expressing there is a difference. I have a high functioning child and a low functioning child. On the whole the high-functioning child is much more "difficult" and certainly has displayed all the things we stated; self harm etc ... but it's hopefully my high functioning child will lead a normal enough life if the right support is put in place whereas my low functioning child is likely to led a much less independent life. That of course might not be the case, we can't predict the future but I guess that was my point that there are different types. I am sorry that I massively offended you. I find it exhausting being an autism mum with all that entails and fighting people who want to jump on my every word, I realise that it often feels like autism parents need to fight the world but there is no reason to be so aggressive when I wasn't trying to be insulting and I am obviously living through this too. I do appreciate what you said and I will be conscious to change my use of wording.

The mum is totally in the wrong and the possible autism irrelevant. Regardless of any condition, this behaviour is unacceptable in a restaurant.

mummyhaschangedhername oh gosh just seen this, thank you very much. No problem, not sure that DD will ever live independently, difficult day, I massively appreciate your apology, so rare on mumsnet and sorry if I ranted.