Background in a wee nutshell: I’m NC with my mother and by extension the rest of the family (had upsetting text exchange with an aunt which I posted about here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3344230-Just-had-a-shitty-text-exchange-with-my-aunt-Hand-hold-needed
The only person I still talk very occasionally to is my other aunt who told me a few weeks ago that sadly my grandma is dying. 
Ever since dgm was taken in to hospital I’ve been talking about going to see her. My aunt keeps saying I shouldn’t for various reasons- grandma isn’t in a good way, it’s distressing to see, nobody going apart from the aunts and my mum, etc etc etc. I know I wasn’t welcome to visit grandma in her care home so I suspected I was being kept away from the hospital. In the end it became clear that either I simply state I’m going to see her or I’d keep being encouraged not to go. So I straight up said to her I was going to go and see dgm before she passes away (thanks to the encouragement by lovely people on here). So I went yesterday.
Then afterwards this text convo happened:
Her: I'm not going to tell my sisters you went to visit Grandma in hospital, let's just keep it between us x
(And then again 10 mins later)
Her: I should have clarified that by saying I thought (other aunt) was unfair to you last time you talked and I don't want anyone to upset you further for any reason xx
Me: Everyone is blocked on my phone now to avoid any further hoohaa. I imagine they wanted me not visiting grandma while she's dying. I appreciate you saying that and for keeping me updated with what's going on. Xx
Her: Nobody had said you couldn't go and there is no reason why you can't see her in the home, I just wanted to avoid any problems arising. Hopefully nobody will mention it at the hospital as we are going shortly to wait with Grandma until she leaves. If it's mentioned I'll act as if I know nothing!! Will update you later x
Me: (at which point I was tired of being made to feel like a devil person who should be kept secret and knowing she’d been making excuses to keep me away from the hospital) Well I've got every right to visit my dying grandma so it doesn't matter what they think if they hear. I'm not a shameful secret. X
Her: Didn't get your message as I was at the home. Nobody has said you don't have a right to see Grandma and that was not what I meant. You are free to see her whenever you want x
So it’s my last message to her I’m worried about, was I unfair? I’m very angry that I could have missed out seeing my grandma for the last time through being kept away ‘to avoid problems’ but I also know she has secretively kept me in the loop via text. She says ‘you are free to visit grandma whenever you want’ but she was making excuses for why I shouldn’t go to the hospital and previously told me my mum and other aunt didn’t want me allowed at the care home.
God, this situation is so hard. Thank you if you read all that.