Would you buy McDonald's for overweight son?

[lostdebby]

Hi, bit random (name changed as feel this could either go sensibly and people actual give advice or people will have a go at me and then hate me under my actual username ).

My son is 20 and lives at home. He's very overweight (around 20 stone) and has been dieting in and off really. I try and support him as much as possible but it's a bit hit and miss about when he is actually dieting or not. I leave work at 9pm and he has asked me to grab him a McDonald's on way home. I'm getting petrol right next door so no reason not to. He has bank transferred the money already so can't use that as a reason. I can ofc say no don't feel like going there after work. I don't need to say the reason to make him feel shitty. Hell then I'm sure pick something we have at home for dinner (I'm sure it would be healthier) or do I just respect he has made the decision and get it for him?

Thank you

Get him a wrap with a side salad - no drama!

Just get him the maccies. One takeaway more isn't going to make that much more of a difference.

But if you are concerned about his weight, make time to have a proper discussion with him about it. I wouldn't bring it up tonight. You're just going to make him feel like shit for having it. But do mention it to him tomorrow.

Kids happy meal with fish fingers, carrots and milk or just suck up he’s an adult and capable of making his own decisions and buying him a Big Mac and chips

Haha he has a set meal and if I bought a wrap and salad I'm sure he'd be extremely miffed 

We do talk about his weight and he says he knows and wants to do something about it but clearly just not enough...

I agree with Fatted I wouldn’t make an issue tonight given one takeaway won’t make any difference. But focus on filling homecooking as much as possible if you eat together most days?

A burger every so often isn’t why he’s 20st

he's an adult.
if you want a mcd go ahead and take one home for both of you.
if you don't, he can go and get it himself.

Yes, he's an adult.

"A burger every so often isn’t why he’s 20st"

I was just thinking, a McDonalds is probably just a snack for someone that size!
Also, although I wouldn't recommend it, it's possible to lose weight by eating McDonalds.

The next time it comes up can you gently say if there’s any way you can support him or help just to let you know. And can he think of any things that might be helpful ? Ie so you aren’t having to tell him but he thinks about it on his own.
(I do this with our much younger children when there’s any problem I want them to try and solve ! So am sorry if not very helpful but I wish you and him well in helping him)

No I don't want a McDonald's, so yeah I guess I can suggest he goes and gets it himself but that's what I mean, he probably wouldn't bother I don't think (ofc I could be wrong) so I do feel like it's my fault if I get it for him, iyswim?

Could you txt him that you planned this and this for dinner ( suggesting healthy and also realistic option) , so how he feel about it?

Don’t press him if he says no and don’t forget to get it for yourself. Leave talk about healthy eating for another day.

I'm inclined to think that he is an adult, using his own money and that it is his decision. It isn't like you are suggesting the idea.

However I would probably feel like you that I didn't want to facilitate it. I think i'd say something along the lines of, "I was actually going to make xyz and have already bought everything, so i'll transfwr that money back to you" and then leave it at that/not read or reply to any subsequent messages. It means that you don't need to say anything that will make him feel bad, but I think maybe you do need to show that you don't support his unhealthy eating habits

Everyday? No way
But as a one off treat then I wouldn't worry about it, it won't change anything and he needs to learn to lose weight himself otherwise he will never put the full effort in, it can't come from you or anyone else

A McDonalds on a Friday night (as his dinner?) is reasonable and within the limits of 'normal' eating. I'd get it for him. And if you could be persuaded into something, you could sit and enjoy it together.

He's an adult. He has a weight issue, he wants macdonalds. That's a choice he is making. I'd pick it up.

Yes I would buy him it, as another poster said upthread, he is an adult so capable of making his own decisions. You not buying his this meal isn't going to make any difference if he hasn't made the decision to diet and in the right state of mind to succeed.

Probably not, tbh. "I love you & this doesn't feel like it's in your best interests" would be my message (& hand him back cash). he can at least burn some calories getting off his arse to go fetch his own junk food

I agree with Trout. I wouldn't buy it. If he wanted it that badly he would get it himself. Even though he's an "adult" he is still your son and still needs guidance. Just because you hit 18 doesn't mean you are mature and necessarily know what's good for you.

When he was a child, I wouldn't have let him get so big though.

When he was a child, I wouldn't have let him get so big though

Of course you wouldn't. Because it's really that easy to control teenagers with eating issues 🙄😡

I wouldn't buy that crap for anyone let alone an overweight person, and 9pm is super late to be eating, I'm fast asleep by this time, does he always eat so late?

Did you buy it for him op?

I would have. I wouldn't be happy about it but he clearly doesn't want to do anything serious about his weight and you can't force him.