He's not even 2 and already it's terrible

[tangoed2]

Over a month and a half away from being two and I'm being attacked almost daily at the moment 😞

Smacking is the norm and I can see the anger in his face! Even when he's been told no and said sorry he'll still add an extra smack to my face for good look, he's started scratching and pinching now too.

I don't even know what to do with him, it's like he's possessed once he starts! His plastic chair gets thrown, he smacks the TV, the blinds launches his toys round the room. Is this even normal? He can go from being the most loving little thing to just an anger filled creature!

I thought it was a phase and just the tantrums on the way but now I'm thinking there's maybe more to it, any advice?!

Could be a number of things really

How do you react when he's like this?

I've tried a bit of everything, calm but firm telling him now we don't smack and try and ignore him for about a minute- that worked for a while but now he just smacks straight away again.

I've tried raising my voice a little just to see if it made him stop, that didn't work.

If I can get him calm enough to distract him that can work but it just depends how crazy he is going! Honestly it's so hard.

In the nicest way, get a grip. He is not even two. You are the adult. Maybe you trying a bit of everything is confusing him. A firm low voice and eye contact and saying ‘no’ every time. If he does it anyway, off to sit in the corner/on the stair/ somewhere with no stimulation or attention for 30seconds and then a crouch down from you, I told you not to hit mummy and you didn’t listen. Don’t hit. It hurts. Cuddle and carry on. Repeat as necessary.

Thanks for the get a grip 🙄 most helpful. If it was just once and then I handled it as you said and it went as perfectly as you said then I wouldn't be at the end of my tether with it.

I don't do something different every time, they're just the things I've tried. I do as you've suggested majority of the time but it results in him throwing himself on the floor and then when he's calmed down enough for me to talk to, it's another smack across the face - cycle repeats.

I don’t have any advice really but you have my synpathy. Have you tried a “thinking step” rather than a “naughty step”?

Thanks @thewinehasgonetomyhead I think nursery have thinking time rather than a naughty step so maybe we'll look at swapping to something like that too, worth a try I suppose!

What have nursery said? Does he do it there too?

Can he communicate with you?
It could be frustration, sometimes this behaviour warrants a hearing test.

Does he have any other worrying behaviours OP?

Do you have a 'stop that right now!' voice?

What I mean is that I have to tell my DS 'no' or words to that effect dozens of times a day, and mostly it's just mild toddler stuff like, 'no, we don't bang things on the fridge' or 'no, you must hold my hand when we're walking on the street' etc. But if he does something I consider totally out of line then I have a very loud, firm, sharp (not angry) voice that I only use if I want to stop him in his tracks. Usually accompanied by 'that is bad behaviour' and removing him immediately from whatever it is he was doing. He doesn't hear that tone from me very often and it does subdue him in a way the regular 'no's don't.

I guess what I'm saying is, can your son tell that 'no smacking' is a really serious no, and you mean it 100%? Otherwise I think it can become like background noise to them and they don't really listen.

He's started pushing a bit at nursery which they're trying to crack down on but nothing like he is at home (touch wood). They said a few of them push and copy each other.

I don't think there's any other worrying behaviours. He's doing fairly well with his speech, he's got lots of words and just starting to put a couple together and he copies really well so I've not had any concerns about hearing. Just trying to think if there's anything else.

You can speak to your health visitor and most sure start centers run parent/toddler behaviour classes which might be useful for you both