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Original poster

What to do about this wedding invitation?

24 replies

BertrandRussell · 02/11/2018 17:22

Our niece. We couldn’t be more delighted- she was widowed hideously young and has found happiness again. We would LOVE to go to her wedding. But. It’s next June. Dp and I are both self employed-we have no idea what work will look like then.(June is busy for me- ironically wedding related!)Ds is in year 13- we have no idea what the A level timetable will be. DD is job hunting for her first proper post university job ( currently temping). So we really have no idea which of us, if any will be able to go. I have never been invited to a wedding far in advance! What should we do?

OP posts:
DBN1 · 02/11/2018 17:25

Accept the invitation but let your niece know all the reasons you may not be able to attend, as stated here. Obviously nearer the time you'd be able to tell her you can't attend if that's the case.

CakeNinja · 02/11/2018 17:25

Accept the invite on behalf of you and your dp and then you turn down the work that’s booked in for that date.
That’s what (self employed) dp does.
It’s a pretty typical time frame for sending out invites though!

ScreamingValenta · 02/11/2018 17:28

Is the wedding near enough to be a day trip? Could you and DP keep your diaries clear and arrange with your niece to let her know about DD as soon as you have details of her A-Levels?

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OrangeOrBlackcurrant · 02/11/2018 17:28

Honestly? I would call her and say exactly what you have said here. You sound lovely and delighted for her but life carries on for others too. She might have a solution or be able to tell you the absolute latest she needs to know.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 02/11/2018 17:28

Accept for you and dp and sort your work around it. Ask if you can confirm your dcs nearer the two me.

ScreamingValenta · 02/11/2018 17:29

Sorry, DS/A-Levels, I should have said.

shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 02/11/2018 17:33

Assuming it is just 1 day and doesn't involve an overseas trip then I would accept the invitation and when booking in work just keep that day free and explain to any potential clients/employers that you will need to keep that date free.

As to your DC, I would ask them how keen they are to attend and respond accordingly. If there is a risk of an exam clash then explain this to the bride and promise to confirm with her as soon as you have an exam timetable

HotInWinter · 02/11/2018 17:34

What is the RSVP date? Can you ask her when she needs numbers by, and make sure you reply by then?

Ohyesiam · 02/11/2018 17:35

Does she live in another country?

HoveringHobbit · 02/11/2018 17:37

Btw the provisional A level exam timetables are out on the individual exam board websites. From experience of the last two years, they rarely change

BackforGood · 02/11/2018 17:55

Is it one day?
Then I would just keep your diary clear for that day. (If you want to go that is)..... if you are self employed then your hourly / daily rate ought to include an allowance for X numbers of days during the year when you don't work.

I would then phone her and say you won't know about your dc until closer, and ask up until what point you can keep the option open, or if you need to decline.

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 02/11/2018 17:56

It's in this country but it means an overnight stay- so a whole weekend. Blimey- is 8 months normal? I don't think I have ever had an invitation more than 4/5 months ahead unless I was part of rue wedding party...

OP posts:
SnuggyBuggy · 02/11/2018 17:58

Is it an invitation or a save the date?

Onemorefireball · 02/11/2018 18:01

If you'd love to be there and currently don't have anything booked for work, then accept and keep the weekend free.

Iloveacurry · 02/11/2018 18:01

Is there a date to reply by? Perhaps reply nearer that date.

MsJaneAusten · 02/11/2018 18:04

Provisional Exam timetables are already available:

AQA

OCR

Edexcel

Original poster
BertrandRussell · 02/11/2018 19:11

Ah. Ds has just pointed out the small print saying "RSVP by April 30th.".........Sorry all! Blush

OP posts:
Trills · 02/11/2018 19:23

I don't see how receiving an invitation 8 months ahead could be less convenient than receiving an invitation 4 months ahead

YearOfYouRemember · 02/11/2018 19:30

Don't get the issue. You're either willing to miss two days work or you aren't

Heismyopendoor · 02/11/2018 19:34

I imagine she’s sent them out a bit earlier due to it being summer? Lots of people go away then

SnuggyBuggy · 02/11/2018 19:34

Depends on the RSVP date surely

dingdongdigeridoo · 02/11/2018 21:14

If it’s at the weekend it should be workable. I’m self-employed, but even during my busy season I could take a day off if I planned work accordingly. Unless it’s a day when DS has an actual exam, he can plan his revision around it. It might be a nice break from the stress. And DD has plenty of notice to take a day off if she’s working.

Leeds2 · 02/11/2018 21:52

Exam timetable is probably available online already, and you can always double check with school!
I don't know what sort of job your DD will be applying for but - possibly somewhat naively! - I would assume it wouldn't involve working weekends (and also assuming that the wedding is at a weekend).
So, I would accept (subject to exam clarification), and make sure that neither you nor DH took on any work for that date.

littleniki · 02/11/2018 22:31

The timetables for exams should be out as a rough guide as to when they start finish as a whole. Iv already got the GCSE timetable for next year (I’m an Exams Officer). Ask the school and they should be able to find out

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