BFP but DH doesn't want it

[Gpixie]

Feeling a bit sad this morning. Had a major row with DH last night after getting a BFP 1-2 weeks along. I was due to get sterilized in May but he said he didn't want me going through with the procedure and he's have a vasectomy. He hasn't obviously sorted it and now we're pregnant. I don't want to terminate but he doesn't want another baby. Our relationship has always been rocky with him walking out on me when I was 7 months pregnant with our daughter and he's only just returned 4 years later. I know it's probably not ideal but I'm a loving mum, not last! I work full time and look after all my family (DH, DS 16, DD 8 & DD 3) none of them want for anything and I do my best for them all. When he left when I was pg with DD#2 it broke me, but I'm strong and held it all together and we finally came out the other side. My DS & DD#1 are from a previous marriage.
I don't know what to do. I can do it alone but feel I've fought so hard for 4 years to fix us that this may break us all over again and I'm scared. Any advice?? X

He will probably walk again. I think you know that. The question is why are you fighting so hard to keep him? You don't want to terminate, so don't. That is something within your control. What he does is out of your control. If he does walk, is he really someone worth holding onto?

Tbh I'd let him walk. Is he really worth trying to hang on to?

So he told you not to get sterilised, said he would get the snip, didn't bother, got you pregnant, says he doesn't want it and walked out on you at 7 months pregnant?

Wow. What a massive cunt.

Do what you want with your pregnancy ('we' aren't pregnant. You are. Not him.)
But be prepared that the feckless manchild will walk out again.
Let's be honest, even if you chose not to continue with the pregnancy he may well walk out again.

So I would do whatever suits you and your children.

What would you rather- a baby and no feckless, cunty DH or no baby and still probably no DH?

I don't blame your husband for not wanting another child, you already have three. However it's not fair for you to be pressured to have an abortion if you are sure you don't want one.

If you do have your pregnancy terminated, waste no time in making sure you don't become pregnant again, it doesn't matter how or which one of you does what.

He sounds revolting. If he didn’t what a child and he doesn’t take responsibility for contraception- he shouldn’t have sex.

Keep the baby, get rid of the man

I'm not sure what the question is. He's proven himself untrustworthy multiple times. You don't need that dead weight. Just decide if you want to bring another baby up by yourself or not.

If you want the baby, have the baby. Don't if you don't. But don't make your decision based on shoring up a rocky relationship with someone who's shown himself to be flaky. Do what's right for you.

Thanks for the replies xx he's ignored me so far today. He's got up and done stuff round the house, I've stayed in bed and just taking time to think it all through. Feeling a little nauseous too which makes it all seem so real!

You know for fact he will walk again.. The question is do you want to have the child and are you prepared to be a single mum of 4?