Is this an OK insult?

[Girlfrommars11]

So I'm not part of the easily offended brigade.

I'm not actually offended, I'm more just wondering.

Listening to lbc last night and the presenter said, "your going to call me a tard for this" caller then said "yes you are a tard. "

Now I assume tard is short for retard, correct me if I'm wrong.

Is it OK to be using retard as an insult on national radio?

My son has a syndrome that is classified as mental retardation, which doesn't really sit well with me as I feel that retard is a bit of a playground insult like spastic, and shouldn't really be used as a medical term. I prefer intellectually disabled. Now I hear presenters casually using tard as an insult and I feel a bit like, that shouldn't really be an OK word to use in main stream media. Would he have said spastic?

What do others think. Is tard and retard OK to use as a casual insult on mainstream TV and radio?

I wouldn't have actually cared if it was used by a comedian or someone in real life. But this was a news show on the radio.

• [Message from MNHQ: We've edited the title to remove the offensive term]

100% not funny, not clever, not acceptable.

I was really pleased to see MNHQ delete the use of similar disablist expressions on 3 threads very recently - 2 threads were just general threads, nothing to do with disability.

It's as outdated, grossly offensive and disablist as the n word is outdated, grossly offensive and racist.

I haven't seen or heard it used in medical reports, as a diagnosis or by professionals in the field for many years. If anyone is hanging on to its use then they need to be brought into the 21st century pronto.

Just because something used to be in medical or common use in the past doesn't make it an excuse to use it now. Language changes and evolves over time, often for the better and this is one of those times.

Another excuse used is that a word like the r word is no longer used to describe a person with learning disabilities, so that makes it ok for anyone to use now as a joke or insult. It's really not ok though, because the r word and others like it, still have the power to hurt, upset, distress and negatively label not just disabled people but their loved ones and all other decent people too.

I know all about the pros and cons of more isolated rural communities as described by a pp, but again it's no excuse to use disablist words. Newspapers, TV, radio of the times reach these places just fine. Some have the Internet and some residents travel for work or holiday around the country and the world. Young former residents move back home, new people move in. I would no more join in with disablist words here than anywhere else. Would you also tolerate or join in racist words there? Hopefully not. Unless we challenge use, it will remain in common use. We all share responsibility for this.

The only exception I make is when some disabled people choose to use them about themselves in the same way that some black people choose to use the n word to reclaim the word and take the power to hurt with it away from racists.

I'm not, but I care not one single jot if anyone thinks me professionally offended or virtue signalling. Insulting is just another excuse. Language matters.

I'm 39 and horrible insults such as 'retard' or 'spastic' were considered vile and unacceptable in the playground when I was at school.

Disappointed to see them still being used by adults who should know better.

MNHQ will be keeping an eye on the thread. They won't delete it as long as it remains a place for healthy discussion and education, and as long as they're convinced the OP is genuine. Individual posts which breach Talk Guidelines or aren't in the spirit will hopefully be deleted. That's all fine by me.

They did last time BlackBelt and it was a discussion about Rosemary Kennedy and it was her Diagnosis and people used it in context witj het diagnosis im thr parent of a child with severe learning disabillities for me it isnt the words i find offensive but context so no i wouldnt be happy if people used them ad a joke or insult but in the context od disabillities i dont find it offensive

Sorry for the typos , i have a cracked screen

Demographic is an influence too. I grew up in quite a backwards area of the country and those words are used by everyone, including teachers. It’s awful.

Just to say, we've edited the title of the thread to remove the offensive term. Yes, it's disablist, and no, it's really not okay.

Glad to see that everyone here's in agreement.

I didn't see that thread, AamdC, sorry. I prefer not to even type full words like that, call me a snowflake if you will, anyone. I use r word or r***, something like that.

I see MNHQ have deleted it from the title, which I agree with. I would like to see a warning on the title to say [disablist language], but for the thread discussion to stand so far.

thank you MN HQ
sadly I agree that it needs to stand, people still need to be educated about disablism. there is no need for these words.

Just want to clarify that the R word is not in fact commonly used or considered acceptable in the United States. I'm seeing "Oh were they American? It's normal there" type comments which really ticks me off. Americans can be pretty fucking offensive, yes, but that word is not ok and most Americans know and agree with that.

Don't tar us all with the ignorant bigot brush just because our flawed electoral college system allowed an ignorant bigot to become our president. The majority of Americans did NOT vote for that buffoon.

Use of the R word is a personal issue for me, my youngest sister has Down Syndrome. I'm extremely aware of it when I hear it, which thankfully isn't often.

@Girlfrommars11 actually no, the word retarded is no longer accepted terminology by the medical field as a whole and has been replaced. People are now diagnosed with intellectual disabilities, not mental retardation. Unless you're talking about slowing something down, the word retard no longer has a valid use in relation to humans.

I agree Samcro. Recently it was reported in the news that a person in the public eye was racially abused visiting a town. The local MP had quite rightly condemned this on Twitter and apologised on behalf of their town. Unfortunately in doing so he also called the person responsible a disablist term - the cr word. Racist language is wrong, but using disablist language to condemn it is ok? No, both are wrong. I'm not on Twitter, but if I was, I'd have reminded the MP (and his followers) of that. Hopefully somebody else did, or will. We really need to get it out of common use.

@TheGoogleMum

The word you used is just as offensive and disablist.
You may "feel" that it's more playful than offensive

It's not.

Just stop.

I would take is as an abbreviation of retard. I have also heard the term lactard to describe lactose intolerance.

I think you'd be right, and I hope plenty of people complain to the manufacturer, shame them on social media, and vote with their purses and wallets, Redneck.

People also use words like retard and spastic in a jokey way here in Ireland.

I'm half Irish and I can tell you now, the sort of people in Ireland who use those words in a 'jokey' way, are exactly the same sort of disablist cunts who use them here in England.

People also use words like retard and spastic in a jokey way here in Ireland.

I'm half Irish and I can tell you now, the sort of people in Ireland who use those words in a 'jokey' way, are exactly the same sort of disablist cunts who use them here in England.

Yeah it doesn't seem right. Maybe it's just me but using 'spaz' somehow doesn't seem as bad despite being short for spastic. It feels more playful than offensive? But I guess that's my personal interpretation and others may disagree.

It is very offensive and nothing to do with personal interpretation! @TheGoogleMum

Fair enough. When you're wrong you're wrong and I'll be more careful in future and wouldnt want to cause offence.

I think I may be thinking about the word spastic as a different definition to some on here but I wouldn't want people to think I meant it the way it is sometimes interpreted. I do not consider it a synonym of retard but would hate for people to think that was my meaning

Someone mentioned it upthread but I too hate the insult libtard which people say, particularly in politics. People here have started to use it here even though Lib Dem’s aren’t even a prominent party here.

No it’s not ok and yes it is offensive.

I have also heard people say your "Special " as an insult i assumed as a referance to "Special needs"?

Yes it’s disablist. I got called an imbecile today on another thread and that struck me as a disablist insult too.

I hate those words, retard and spaz, they make me feel physically unwell. Old enough to remember spaz in particular being the insult of choice back in the 70s. Hated it then and I hate it now.

I dont know if anyone remembers waatching. blue Peter with a man called Joey? He had some disabillities that affected his speech and mobility it was many years ago probably early 80,s anyway for a while was used as an insult in playgrounds, all the more poignant now i have a non verbal disabled child .

Joey was used as an insult*