Breastfeeding Hell

[HeyDuggee24]

Coming up to 48hrs with DS2 and just settling in for a night of no sleep and pain.

I cannot for the life of me get the latch right. My nipples feel like razors when air simply brushes against them. DS is happy however he is latched but trying to get him on properly frustrates him. He will also only sleep straight from a feed on either me or DH.

I just need to make it through the night and then can get the feeding ladies out again tomorrow. I'm on first shift while DH sleeps.

Anyone else struggling? I don't understand why something so natural is so hard

Because he is so tiny you are having to do all the work just now and it may just be a bit of a strain in cradle position. Make sure his head is free to go back a little as he opens his mouth wide as if you arm or hand are blocking that movement he cant get his mouth open wide enough. You could try rugby ball hold (give it a Google) and theres less strain on your back and arms. You could try lying down to feel, my son would only latch that way for the first 3 days. He will find his way to the nipple if it's there and he is hungry.
Have a good look at your nipples and see if there Is any redness, that's the area where is against the hard palate of his mouth so moving position (ie to rugby ball) will move that to a different part of the mouth and shouldnt continue the damage. If there is cracks already there there will be some pain until they heal.

Also...you are doing amazing! Give yourself a break breastfeeding is tough work. I remember one night dreading him waking for a feed but 17 months later he was still at it!

Having googled, I think the flipple technique was what was shown to me today. I just cant seem to master it and there is only so many times I can take him off and put him back on again.

I will try different positions with the breastfeeding lady tomorrow. Honestly, I'm so terrible with babies, I can't even vaguely understand how the rugby hold works!!

Take it a day at a time -every day is a bonus. Are you supporting the baby on a pillow/breastfeeding pillow? Not having a babies' bodyweight hanging off does help.

I remember the pain and the clenching in my groin but that is supposed to speed up healing. Do you massage them? That can help.

Second nipple shields. There’s no easy way to feed a tiny baby, from experience of both bf and bottles.
But, oh the agony of bf! Shocking. The shields saved me until it got easier. Good luck, op and congratulations!

Congrats OP!

It’s really tough, it gets easier but for now:

• shape and shove
• try either cold cabbage leaves

Or

• a hot flannel on your boobs, it’ll help a bit with the pain

• lying down on your side to feed might be a good option for you (I love it)
• alternatively trying popping baby on a cushion and feeding him in the rugby hold...
• if in doubt lay him down (again on a pillow or cushions) next to you while you’re in a sitting position and dangle your nipple into his mouth. It will feel and seem ludicrous but when you know he’s latched it will also be a relief! Just a temporary fix as it will screw your back up. Your nipples will harden up soon and won’t hurt as much but sadly I know that doesn’t help you currently!

• do you have an electronic breast pump? Hop on that for a bit to get the nipple shape and then get DS latch - also breast pump will be gentler on your nipples.

All the best!

Try changing the shape of your breast by placing two fingers from the opposite side that you're feeding from about 1cm either side of the nipple (above and below) and squeeze gently. Makes it a smaller place for baby to latch.
So if you're feeding on the right side, take left hand fingers to change the shape.
Good luck, you can do this!

Ok, firstly, congratulations on your new baby! Secondly, you are doing brilliantly. Thirdly, it’s terrifying at the start, especially before your milk comes in. No one know wtf they are doing at first! The main thing I wish I’d know earlier was the whole rugby hold/feeding lying down on your side thing. If you have big boobs, then you are made for this. I persevered with the rugby hold for a while, but in the end I just used to lie on my side with DD on her side towards me (on the bed next to me)and it was much more relaxing. Tbh, I was never sure that I had the latch right!! But I breast fed her for 3years in the end, so it was probably ok. FWIW, I also wish I could go back and relax about it a bit more so I had better memories, so I hope this helps you x

Oh, and the lying on your side to feed thing might well make you feel that the latch is better. Your boob just falls better and you aren’t trying to support your boob and the baby.

Oh love, it is so painful isn't it? I promise it doesn't last though. I fed my first for over a year and was so surprised that when my second came along breastfeeding was still really painful for the first few weeks. For surprised you could easily substitute furious btw

It is painful to start with, but it definitely gets easier and within a few weeks it will be effortless and pain free. I struggled so much with my first. I remember sobbing down the phone to the breastfeeding helpline but we got there and he self weaned at 1 and a half.

Have a cup of tea, a glass of wine (yes you can, it's totally fine) or a bar of chocolate and get yourself settled in front of the telly.

It does get easier, and then it becomes the easiest thing in the world.

Oh poor you. I had this with DD2 (now 5Mo) I was in agony for the first few days then when she had her 5 day check for some reason (can't remember why) I tried feeding her while standing up while the midwife finished filling in the paperwork and by some miracle everything just came together and her latch was perfect.
It might not work for you but it is probably worth a try.
I had been trying to feed her while she lay on a pillow which is what I had to do with DD1 but clearly that was putting her in the wrong position to latch properly.
Try a few different positions and fingers crossed you will find what works for both of you.
Good luck and congratulations. X

You poor love, I remember this so well...

It hurt with DS1 at first but then settled brilliantly & I BF him for 12 months. I was then a bit smug with DS2 thinking I'd done it before so it would be easy- it was hideous. Razor-blade nips, lashings of Lasinoh and copious sobbing (me).

I too cried down the phone to the helpline lady who then said something that really helped. She gently pointed out that although I'd done it before, DS2 hadn't so I had to 'teach' him.

Turns out that he just wasn't opening his mouth wide enough so was just sucking the nip and causing agony. I taught him by brushing his lip / nose with my nip, he would open his mouth really wide & I'd 'flop' it in. Possibly this was the 'flipple' thing? Once he'd got a big mouthful, it was far less painful & we'd soon got the hang of it.

Best of luck. It IS hard work, it DOES hurt at first but you CAN do it. Bloody well done you.

Just wanted to say YOU’RE DOING GREAT :-)
If it’s what you want to do then persevere as it really does get easier.
I REALLY struggled at the start - v traumatic birth, followed by baby in special care. Couldn’t get him to latch, he seemed to fight the boob, my nipples were AGONY and I was just convinced I was useless. However, still going 11 months later and it really feels worth it. I think I’m probs repeating previous posts (the fact you’re doing great is def worth repeating!), but things that helped me in early days:

• a bf specialist friend normalising everything I was experiencing (ie how sore nipples were - cracked, blistered and bleeding at times)
• getting a bf pillow - quite a few out there so may have to look at what type you think might suit your body type. I didn’t get on well with feeding lying down due to having an emergency c-section so found it painful- but know lots who loved it
• ensuring your partner does everything else chore wise so you can just focus on feeding your baby and nothing else
• realising its normal for them to feed CONSTANTLY in the early days

-having loads of snacks in the house and drinking lots of water -lansinoh, lansinoh, lansinoh

• people reminding me that it gets MUCH easier and will be worth it

Try and be kind to yourself OP - you really are doing a wonderful job, and at a time where you are sleep deprived, emotional and hormonal. Much love x

if you are struggling to get the flipple technique, imagine your breast is a big mac, you have to compress it to take a bite, same principle

I have 3 children and breast fed all of them for varying amounts of time but my youngest 20 month old the longest.

The first 3 days in particular feeding her were HORRIFICALLY painful, even more painful than I remember with the other two. It was like having my nipples tattoed, razor blades or glass pulling through my nipples. Bloody (literally) awful.

The only things that got me through those 3 days were ibuprofen and paracetamol and using Lansinoh. I had to just wait until my nips started to toughen up after the 3 days, it was much more tolerable and I didn't need the pain killers.

I stopped breast feeding her about 5/6 months ago because it was simply time to stop for me! Well, that and I'm pregnant with twins and couldn't be doing with the mithering. Now all that built up toughness have flaked away and I'm plopping myself about having to feed again even though I'm going to do it if I'm able, it's a scary prospect!!

Hang in there xx

Just to add* it hurt so much I actually asked the midwife to check for tongue tie. For some reason she looked at me slightly confused as though I'd asked her how many times her pet alien goes for a crap... but anyway...there was no tongue tie!

Congrats on your new baby! I'm 7 weeks in and really struggled at first too, almost gave up so many times, but it's so much better now!

Rugby hold, stack cushions and sit beside them, so I use 4 square ones, 2 deep and 2 tall on the couch, or 2 regular pillows stacked along side you. Place baby on the pillows, on back, feet towards your back. Slide your arm up under their shoulder blades and support the neck, but allowing the head to be pulled back if baby wants. Latch on then use another pillow/blanket etc to support your hand. I find having my index finger at the back golf their head and the rest of my fingers curled on their shoulder helped.

Disclaimer, I'm no expert, I've just gone through it recently and sound like we had a similar struggle.

I am very blessed in the boob department and found shoving a roller up tea towel under your boob helped lift the nipple up into a better position. Not glamerous, but it helped me a lot, as did 1 formula feed smto let me sleep. But my baby won't sleep anywhere but on me, so I'd get no sleep at all without my husband feeding him a bottle. We introduced that at 2.5-3 weeks and it's been a lifesaver, definetly the reason I'm still BF now. But it can confuse babies if you start too early.

Good luck!

Have you checked for a lip tie too?
For supply, eat lots of oats and drink lots of water.

Hope you have a good day today. Congratulations on the new baby :) xxxx

I never managed the rugby ball hold I could figure it out. With my first I dressed every feed for 3 weeks but then the pain disappeared overnight. It feel a like a long time but it does pass. I was determined to breastfeed but it was so tough to start. Huge sympathy, let the air get to your boobs if you can although I know it's chilly! Loads of cream and chocolate for you. You're doing a great job. Get the feeding supporters back and ask for help as much as you need that is what they are here for. Mine also had a helpline number to call I'm sure it was 24hr they could talk you through it overnight (when it feels the most lonely). Keep going you'll get there.

Have you tried getting him to latch while you are standing up. Crazy sounding I know but with dd2 I could not for the life of me get her to latch without being in pain until we went to one of her midwife checks. I was getting her dressed after being weighed and having her heel pricked she was screaming and needed comfort so I tried to feed her standing because all my stuff was on the chair and miraculously she latched with no pain.
I hope you manage to find a method that works for both of you soon. Good luck x