My husband is depressed

[Missy16]

Earlier my husband came home from work stressed and worked up about a bad day at the office, literally, he briefly told me what had gone on and then he said "I need to see someone, I need to speak to someone" I was like yeah definitely this can't go on, he said no, I need to speak to someone about my mental health, I can't cope, I said do you think you are depressed he said yes, Ive felt like it for ages, at this point our son walked in so I whispered to my husband we are making an appointment first thing tomorrow to see a doctor to which he replied I've already been, I was so shocked that he hadn't told me about it, I couldn't really say anything because as I said our son was there, I whispered we will talk about it later and he said no we won't, is it right that I am feeling really angry he never told me about this and he shut me out.

In the nicest way possible, this isn’t about you. He has told you, in the best way he can, that he’s struggling. Now is your time to step up and support him, not get worked up about whether he told you or not. But hearing in mind your reaction, and the fact he didn’t tell you, I would be looking at your communication skills and checking how approachable you are, because I’d be more worried that he felt he couldn’t talk to you before, than I would that he only just told you...

You’re feeling really angry??
He’s probably been trying to cope the best he can. It can take a lot of courage for someone to admit they need professional help. Why on earth do you want to get angry. You’d only add to his stress levels which are clearly bad enough. Get a grip and support him.

Yabu, in the kindest possible way. Depression isn't called the curse of the strong for nothing. He's held it together long enough to seek help, and now he feels safe enough to tell you. When I sought treatment for mine, I did it before I told DW, so as to lessen the worry. It's an illness that needs fixing. There are people on here whose partners have hurt them twice: once through their depressed behaviour, and again through not seeking help.

Right now, he feels like shit. Weak, unmanly, possibly unable to provide. By getting help, he's recovered a bit of his pride. He's shut you out because he's owning his problem.