Cat illness and kids

[Interviewee1001]

Posting here for traffic rather than The Litter Tray.... very dear, elderly cat is ill, currently at the vets for investigation re breathing problems that came on over night. From conversations with the vet, although the results are not in yet, given cat’s age and other symptoms, it’s looking likely that the kindest thing would be for her to be pts.

Looking for advice on how to deal with this with DS(5) and Dd(11). They don’t even know she’s at the vet (they were at school by the time I decided she needed at appointment).

If the best thing is for the cat to be pts, I think they both need an opportunity to say goodbye if possible, but at the vet this evening? Or see if I can bring her home for one more night of cuddles and take her in tomorrow on my own whilst the children are at school?

As far as the vet and I can tell cat is not in pain or distress at the moment... but I am very keen that if pain/distress are likely, she be pts before they happen iyswim.

Any advice on how best to deal with the children on this one?

Sorry to hear this OP.
In your situation I would bring her home so the children can say goodbye. I've done this in the past with a DDog. The evening was stilted and he definitely sensed something was up, then the following morning was horrendous as well and I swore I would always do it at the time IYSWIM?
However that decision is taken out of your hands when you have DC to take into account as well.
Is there any way the vet could come to the house this evening?

I just don’t know what to do - part of me thinks bringing her home for cuddles is best, but then tomorrow morning, the kids having to say ‘final goodbyes’ and head to school will be awful. But then ‘final goodbyes’ in the vets office this evening, also horrible, but maybe better a short, immediate goodbye than prolonging the agony, knowing it’s going to happen....

Having typed it all out, I’m leaning towards the second option, goodbye at the vets (if it comes to it - there is still a small glimmer of hope). But then, am I thinking the second option because I know that’s better for me.... ?

Crying at the moment - honestly didn’t think I was that attached to the cat; I mean I love her, look after her, stroke/cuddle her; but I always thought people who wept and wailed over “just” an animal were a bit weird. I was 1000% wrong.

Definitely at the vets Interviewee1001 - at least then the children have the option to leave the room if they want. I was the same as you when our cat was PTS at the vets - didn't even like the little beast much but when the time came my DS was so upset - and then became more upset because he couldn't bear to stay whilst cat had the injection - that it made me worse!

Vets are used to owners crying - when I had my dog PTS the vet kept passing me kitchen roll whilst injecting the dog!

I would go for the vets option. They need enough time for it to sink in but give them too much time and they might become very anxious in the build up.
If they feel ok then they could be there when she is put to sleep, if not then offer to view her body afterwards. Seeing the body is an important part of the grief process, it really helps you accept it.

Sorry about your cat

I took DS to the vets with me when we had to have his cat PTS. He was 7 at the time. She had kidney problems and suddenly took a turn for the worse. Ultimately him being there helped him to deal with it. He cuddled her and said goodbye and watched her fall asleep without pain. I think it made it easy for him to process everything.

We took our DT’s with us to the vets to say goodbye to one of the cats. It was horrendous. DT’s were 5 and the cat 12 so they hadn’t never not had the cat. The vets were brilliant and took us into a side room and told us what would happen and when. DH sat and held the cat and we all gave her a kiss and cuddle. I took DT’s out of the room at the last moment so they didn’t see her go floppy. We still have the cats pictures around the house.

Should add that although it was horrendous, I think taking DT’s to the vets was the best for everyone.

So sorry op

Definitely vet option. They will be practiced in supporting you and the DC. And you won't spend a sleepless night worrying about the cat, the dc, and what will be happening the following morning. Better for DC to have an evening to reflect and recover rather than being upset at school without you there. Breathlessness is distressing and shouldn't be prolonged if it can't be treated. The only regrets I've had with animals, is keeping them going too long, rather than the alternative tbh. I know it's hard though.

No, I agree, I would never try and keep her going; that would be for my/DCs benefit rather than hers and wouldn’t be right.

Off to the vet for results in a bit. I’ve tried to prepare the DC - both are in bits, as am I. Poor DH is trying to be ‘manly’ :-(

Oh no it's evident from your posts you don't want her to suffer op and she's a much loved cat - hope it all goes as well as these things can - and if she is PTS that it's peaceful and the DC come to realise in time that it's the kindest thing . Good luck this evening.

Once the decision to PTS had been made for may cat. I just wanted to get it over with ASAP.

The vet was fantastic and it was very peaceful and dignified for her.