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To think a judge can't do this

6 replies

mezzaruna · 31/10/2018 19:55

I've endured a year long custody battle with my ex. I'm so pleased it has come to an end and I have been awarded full residency of our son.

My ex is overall a good dad but was not a good partner.

The judge said it was the first case he had ever heard in his many years as a judge where neither parent had bad mouthed the other and it was a privilege to judge the case. He said our Son was very blessed to have us as parents.

Saying that, he seemed to view my ex as much more noble than he really is. My ex had exaggerated a lot of things relating to his own parenting (amount of days he had our son, the maintenance he paid, his job security among other things).

The judge in his order has reserved all future litigation regarding us to himself. Which essentially means that if either myself or my ex were to apply to the courts again, he would be the one hearing the case. This is now in a court order which makes it legally binding.

The only time he would not hear the case is if he was no longer working as a judge.

Now I hope I never have to be in court again with my ex but he has the finances to start litigation and I feel he may take me back to court for something in the future.

I have already spoken to a solicitor about this and it is clear the judge is legally allowed to do this and there is nothing I can do about it.

AIBU to think a judge shouldn't be able to 'reserve' a case in this manner and this is an odd/rare thing for a judge to decide to do? Has anyone heard of this before? Is it common practice?

I can just hope my ex doesn't take me to court again as I feel this judge is biased towards him but unfortunately I think my ex uses litigation as a means to control me.

OP posts:
Thiswayorthatway · 31/10/2018 20:00

But the Judge awarded you full residency, so surely having him again would be a good thing? Not unusual for Judges to keep to the same cases, maintains consistency for all.

Ozziewozzie · 31/10/2018 20:09

I understand exactly how you’re feeling. I never dared lie in court, but my ex was sadly vile. He accused me of being mentally unstable and a danger to my children.......(not even close on either point) so I had a horrible stomach feeling of ‘oh god the judge must hate me!’ My solicitor told me not to respond or defend myself, and only speak when spoken to. It was bloomin hard, but I did it, and win. Your judge can’t be too biased towards him as you win the case. Sadly women are expected to be good parents whereas if dads are good, they seem to be praised for it as though they are amazing.
It is incredibly unusual for custody to be granted to a father. There usually needs to be a good reason for this to be the case. If both parents are pretty much ok, mums tend to win, due to the nurturing psychology/instincts. What can he take you back to court for? If he does, it could come across as stressful and not really thinking of said child, more of himself winning.
I would just keep any correspondence between yourselves via email as you never know when you may need it.

AdaColeman · 31/10/2018 20:12

The Judge in my divorce case also reserved the case to himself.

I had represented myself, where Ex had a Barrister/Solicitor with him. He was trying to stop all maintenance payments, which the judge refused.

The Judge felt that by his knowing the background history to the case, if it was ever returned to Court, I would get a fairer hearing, than from a Judge who was new to the case.

So that would have been to my advantage had it been taken further.
I think it must be quite normal to reserve divorce cases, as Ex's legal bod was only slightly miffed!! Grin

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SillySallySingsSongs · 31/10/2018 20:15

Absolutely not unusual at all. My DH and his exW have the same due to complexity of heir case due to exW ludicrous behaviour

HeronLanyon · 31/10/2018 20:28

A judge can reserve a case to themselves. You can apply to have that order set aside if ever you were to be back in court and had good reason to want a fresh tribunal. Reserving is often to do with cost saving as much as anything else. Ask your solicitor about this if it continues to trouble you. At the moment it’s probably a bit galling to think the judge was ‘taken in’ to an extent by your Exh. These things generally even out (both sides putting forward their very best them) and the feeling may lessen ? Anyway we’ll dine and let’s hooe you aren’t back in court.

HeronLanyon · 31/10/2018 20:29

we’ll dine well done !

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