Dh will comment on things I haven’t done. Tidying kids toys, ironing clothes before putting them away, house admin he’s mentioned we need to do etc. He does it in a way that makes me feel undervalued. He’ll often swear and be quite abrupt.
I used to work full time and earn more than him. I paid more towards bills so we both had the same amount spare. Then he became the biggest earner by a long way, but worked longer hours (48 a week). My shift pattern changed so I couldn’t do school drop off and pick up from after school club. I had to leave work. I’ve been helping dh out in his business unpaid for 28 hours a week. He now pays all the bills and gives me £100 a week (goes on food and dc). He has said that he gives me a fortune for hardly any hours so is paying me to do everything around the house and expects better. We have 4 dc. Whenever I’m home, so are they: I can’t keep on top of everything. Should I be able to? I honestly don’t know. He’s commented that the house is his, not mine, as I don’t pay for anything. That upsets me. I used to, but gave up my career to support him, and I miss it! I’m going back to my career in a few months on my old hours, but I’m not sure I can save our relationship. I’ll still earn less, and still fall short on the housework front. I feel like he doesn’t respect me at all anymore. He gets angry if I try to talk to him about it and says I’m having a go at him. I don’t mean to, I just want to feel like he recognises what I do (all childcare, washing, cleaning [not enough admittedly], household admin, cooking []no ironing though!]) and respects me. Admittedly I’m over sensitive as I’ve always been independent before and my career was a part of who I am. How do I fix this?