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Original poster

Did you change your name after divorce?

21 replies

Squidgee · 29/10/2018 16:59

Been mulling it over since EXH and I separated, not sure if I want to keep my married surname or revert to my Maiden Name.

Can some of you who've been through it and decided either way talk to me about the pros/cons of what made you decide to keep or revert?

OP posts:

DaffoDeffo · 29/10/2018 17:03

I didn't for the following reasons

I travel to countries with my dcs where having a different surname to the dcs would be a problem (this was my main reason)
I would have had to change my passport and bank accounts, driving licence and at the time, with all the divorce shit, I didn't have the will to do it all (it's a bit of a mission).
Professionally, I'm now known by my married surname

I always said when my youngest turns 18 (which isn't far away) I would probably then find the time to change it back to my maiden name but not before then.

Chasingsquirrels · 29/10/2018 17:05

No, and then I kept the same name when I remarried.

My main reason - It was my name, it was how I'd identified myself personally and professionally for the previous ten years.

If I had my time again I wouldn't have changed it on marrying in the first place, and as I said I didn't change it on remarrying and I don't think I will if I remarry (now widowed) again.

It's totally up to each individual though, and down to what you feel you want to do, not anyone else.

wendz86 · 29/10/2018 17:15

I haven’t . Prefer to have same name as kids and a lot of hassle to change everything .

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Relationship problems

StrongerSingle · 29/10/2018 18:32

I'd always kept my name anyway, so no need to change when I divorced.

MajorArcana · 29/10/2018 18:42

If there's a second wife it'll annoy her, this much I know from reading mn!

VladmirsPoutine · 29/10/2018 18:45

I double-barrelled so I only chopped off his bit following divorce. That said, my license, passport and bank accounts - basically all my 'life admin' had always been in my name so the issue of name-changing was never really as pertinent for me.

Tbh it comes down to how you feel about it. I don't wish to patronise or offend you but if you are in the nascent stages of separation/divorce then this issue might be something of a distraction to avoid thinking about the nitty gritty of marital breakdown.

TillyVonMilly · 29/10/2018 18:49

I changed my before I got divorced, I’d no children so that wasn’t an issue. I felt no attachment to the name once we separated.

MintyCedric · 29/10/2018 18:49

I was married for 13 years (14.5 if you count the bit when we were separated).

I changed my name. Tbh the paperwork side of things is an utter ball ache but...

My XH has form for moving on very quickly. He was online dating and met his partner within about 2 weeks of me asking for a divorce so I was fully expecting him to have a ring on her finger as soon as the divorce was finalised. She's actually lovely but I didn't really want to be sharing his name with her.

It also meant still having the same name as my ex-MIL. Words cannot describe my dislike and contempt for her, the role she played in the breakdown of my marriage and the frankly fucking disgusting way she treated DD after the split. So, basically, just no.

Lastly, I like my maiden name better. I chose it myself in the first place as my both name was somewhat unfortunate and I changed it by deed poll when I was 16.

I'm very glad I didn't keep his, and my daughter who is 14 has no problem with us having different names. We went abroad last week and had no issues with travelling in different names, although I did take a letter from XH just I'm case.

Munchmallow · 29/10/2018 18:50

No, my married name is short and simple not unlike the ex husband , I've been known by it for 30 years and no-one could spell my maiden name anyway

MintyCedric · 29/10/2018 18:51

Should add that if I ever get married again I will be keeping the name I have now!

Dowser · 29/10/2018 18:54

Me too chasing squirrels
Mr Dowser hates being referred to as Mr my ex husband’s surname...as well he should.

TroysMammy · 29/10/2018 18:57

I kept mine for the following reasons:-
As I was married for 13 years a lot of people knew me by that name.
It is less common than my maiden name.
I didn't hate my exh.
I was too lazy to write to the DVLA, Passport Office, Doctors, Dentist, Optician, gas, electricity, water, mortgage, building society, council, house insurance, car insurance, pet insurance, life insurance, bank, employer, company pension, fsavc company, credit card company. Think I've named them all.
Also I like how I sign my name and initials as it flows better.

Oldbutstillgotit · 29/10/2018 18:58

My DC were very young when exh and I divorced so I kept my married name to keep some continuity. His next wife HATED this and tried everything to get me to change my name but I only did that when I remarried several years later .

MajorArcana · 29/10/2018 19:02

my x's name literally had ''arsey'' in it! Which turned out to be apt.

oldfatandtired1 · 29/10/2018 19:07

Went back to my own name. A couple of reasons - my kids were older so not bothered about having the same name as them and 2. it’s a much nicer name than my married one.

It’s purely up to the individual, whatever you want.

Agree with previous posters the paperwork’s a pain in the arse!

HildaZelda · 29/10/2018 19:35

When I read threads like this one, it always reminds me how glad I am that I kept my own name upon marrying. Should I ever get divorced, that'll be one less thing to worry about!

mathanxiety · 29/10/2018 19:47

I kept my married name as it's the surname of the DCs. It would also be a pita to change it as I have immigration documents, my passport, all of my credit history and residence history with this name. Plus employment. I really didn't want exH to be the only parent sharing the DCs' name though.

ExH stood in front if a judge and insisted that I had changed it - he had written out child support cheques to me under my maiden name, which my bank obv wouldn't negotiate. This is because exH is probably certifiable and very malevolent.

Toomanycats99 · 29/10/2018 19:53

I have been wondering this. I think I will probably keep married name. I would worry about travelling with a different name to my children but mainly I just think it would really upset them that we didn't have the same name.

MissQuad · 29/10/2018 19:56

I've kept mine and it suits me fine. Changing it is too much trouble. And my ex is fine with it. Also I want to have the same surname as my DS.

Starlight345 · 29/10/2018 19:58

No . I wanted same name as ds

MirandaWest · 29/10/2018 20:01

I changed my name when I married XH and my DC have that surname. I was used to having that surname so kept it - I’d had it most of my adult life.

When I married DH I would have liked to keep it but I think he wasn’t too keen so have double barrelled with his.

Like Chasing Squirrels if I had my time again I wouldn’t have changed my surname in the first place but was young and foolish.

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