Living abroad, single, homesick and pregnant

[GeorgieWish]

I’m currently 5 months pregnant with an ivf / sperm donor baby, a miracle I thought I’d never have but I’m living and working in Greece. I have a good job and good maternity benefits but as my pregnancy progresses I feel more and more homesick and spent all day today having a good cry. I don’t know whether to try and cut my losses and move home or ride it out knowing that my I’ll probably have to stay at least another year 🙁. Any advice?

Where will you have the most support when the baby comes?

@meadowflowers my family and friends are all at home in the UK so in terms of people there, but I won’t have a job for awhile

Could you go on mat leave early go back to the Uk have the baby there and see how you get on?

Huge congratulations with your pregnancy! I think you are just scared a little bit. You have a big change coming into your life very soon. I don’t know anything about system in Greece. Is their health system better? Would you be able to get a place at good nursery? What kind of support you will get as a single mother? Would your income be enough for both of you? You need to think of these and lots of others questions.
I wouldn’t automatically assume that you will have better support in UK because your family and friends are there. It’s very much depends on their situation, attitude and your expectations. Will they live close to you? Do they have health issues or other commitments? How they are with small babies in general?
My sister had a lot of support from our parents with her child. I’m younger and also had my child much later when my parents were older. I had different views on parenting, lived in different city. My child also had some health issues. At some point I realised that my mum’s presence’s more stressful for me than helpful.
Sometimes paying for professional childcare and other services put you in much better position. You can choose, you can set rules and you are in control. It’s very important.
Could you relatives visit you in Greece and stay a little bit close to the due date for you not being so lonely?
Good luck whatever you decide!

You won't be able to work for a while anyway with a new baby, but you will need tonnes of support from your friends and family.

@rhnireland you go on mat leave 2 months before the baby is born in Greece and tbh I’m happy having the baby here as the doctor and midwife are excellent and been on the journey with me, it’s more than what happens after that...

@greenlynx so the healthcare is fantastic here, the maternity good and nursery / nannies much cheaper than the uk so I can afford them on my salary. My mum has also pretty much said she’ll stay with me as long as she’s needed, my family is very supportive so I’m super lucky. I think I’m just homesick and it’s a horrid feeling that I’ve never had before. I also feel very different here, Greece has one of the lowest divorce rates in Europe and is really quite traditional so I’m seen as quite strange having a baby on my own and I think that added to everything else makes it harder. I am also super emotional as would be expected!!

Your plan sounds great. I think it’s much more difficult now then the first few months because it’s so real! You literally can feel your baby! I remember feeling excited and very scared at the same time. I’m married but we did IVF as well because I have fertility issues. I think IVF gives you this additional pressure of responsibility because it’s so planned rational decision. My husband was away a lot during my pregnancy and first few months after baby was born so I felt very scared and lonely. I used to leave TV very quietly on because I couldn’t fall asleep otherwise. I felt overwhelmed. It sounds probably strange but you don’t have this problem after baby’s born — you are just busy all the time. So it will be easier for you and much more exciting!
And don’t bother about how locals view your situation. You are from different country so you just do things differently.