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When did you realise you were getting/feeling older?

128 replies

2anddone · 27/10/2018 20:56

I have driven since I was 17 and over the (many) years I have driven in various different countries on all sorts of roads. It never used to bother me what the weather was like or what time of day it was.
Today I drove home from Birmingham (approx 150 miles) the weather was horrendous and I was scared! People on the roads didn't have their car lights on and weren't indicating. The rain was coming down so hard I could hardly see the road and it was so dark on some roads that I hit a large puddle as I couldn't see it in the dark.
I am now sat at home with my dc in bed and I feel really old I never thought I would be bothered by driving but today (at 42 years old) I was!
What made you feel like you were getting old?

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 27/10/2018 22:18

Getting grey in my eyebrows. I have 2 grey hairs in my otherwise naturally black eyebrows. I colour them in with a permanent marker as they really stand out and I don't think I can get the whole of my eyebrows tinted because of 2 hairs . 😂
I also get achy knees and have started taking the same vitamin supplements my mother does for her achy knees.
I'm mid 40s.

Graphista · 27/10/2018 22:19

I have friends who are teachers

That was one of the first "I'm old" signs.

True - but I also have friends who are Drs and lawyers and their training takes longer and when they reached fully qualified able to practice stage I did start to feel old then especially as this coincided with a few other friends DC's starting school - I wasn't a mum yet myself at this point.

helacells · 27/10/2018 22:21

Been going to boot camp for years and one day realized I couldn't keep up with the others then also realized that they're all in early twenties and I'm nearly 50!

Dontfeellikeaskeleton · 27/10/2018 22:23

The biggest one was starting to not actually give a fuck though.

ivykaty44 · 27/10/2018 22:23

I really can’t think of anything that has made me feel old. I’ve always thought of birthdays as a blessing and still can do things I was doing 30 years ago

Kemer2018 · 27/10/2018 22:25

Painful knees and becoming extremely anxious.
Also no longer want to use all you can eat buffet restaurants as i cannot get value for money. I cannot eat big portions.......but I'm the fattest I've been.
I fall asleep at 2100. It's terrible
Im 45

ivykaty44 · 27/10/2018 22:28

I completed my first 101 cycle ride this year, something new for me

DerRosenkavelier · 27/10/2018 22:28

When I needed varifocals and when I am stiff after sitting in one position for a while. I’m mid 40s.

On a positive note though I’ve realised that if I don’t exercise I completely seize up, so I’ve never been fitter. Although I now cannot shift that last stone for love nor money.

Also, I don’t like ‘sexy’ images of young men. I have developed an age appropriate eye. Thankfully I think that mid 40s DH is very handsome. I don’t know if I would have thought so at 21.

EverardDigby · 27/10/2018 22:28

I'm 49 and I never expected my body to be so creaky at this age. I have various age-related conditions though I'm quite fit, but I expected to not start to have things go wrong til my 60s.

I used to hate driving at night but then I got glasses, which made it a whole lot better.

SagelyNodding · 27/10/2018 22:30

Saying "oooofff" when I pick up anything heavy! Everything clicks, crunches and creaks from the hips downwards...
I am no longer fighting the grey hairs, but will be forever fighting the new wispy leg pubes and the sprouting chin! I'm 35 ffs, I shouldn't be feeling so ancient already?!

ragged · 27/10/2018 22:31

When I realised that stuff that happened in my youth was 30 yrs ago.
30 yrs IS a long time.
I don't mind being "old" at all. So much better than any feasible alternative.

I feel in my skin the same as ever. I think I still move the same as ever. But I look in the mirror & can't believe how middle-age shaped & looking I am. It's amusing, not upsetting.

QuaterMiss · 27/10/2018 22:33

I really can’t think of anything that has made me feel old.

The OP asked about feeling 'older' - not old. I hate the term 'older person' without context but I understand what 'older' means here.

Moononthehill28 · 27/10/2018 22:42

This makes sobering reading. In the past couple of years it’s all gone wrong. Feet hurt , knees hurt. Climbing stairs is a real effort. I just have so much less stamina and energy. I get overwhelmed and exhausted easily. I find crowds, noise and too many people draining. Just have so much less resilience. Just lately find getting out of my seat an effort! I catch sight of myself and wonder who the fat middle aged woman is. I look exactly like my mother. Grey brow hairs, thinning hair. Feeling irritated and intolerant a lot of the time. Sigh.

ItWentInMyEye · 27/10/2018 22:45

When you start to moisturise your elbows without giving it a second thought 

Cleanermaidcook · 27/10/2018 22:50

Yes to driving in the dark. Also I can't summon up the courage to drive on the motorway near Manchester (Barton bridge) - I used to do this route weekly without a worry.
Also creaky knees
Menapause is starting - loving the hot sweats!
I have no patience with anybody much.
I can't be armed dying my greying hair as often as I should

I'm 46

7Days · 27/10/2018 22:53

My old school gang met up for the first time in ages over the sumner, a wedding.
A friend went up to do a reading, the same old Claire, same as see she ever was.
Except it wasn't Claire, it was her 19 yr old niece.
We were all 40 ish, some of us wearing better than others. But yeah. We had lines, and middle age spread and were balding. Our skirts were lower and waistcoat buttons taking more strain. We were first into the dance floor, but had to rustle up handbags and coats and go around speaking to people we really must speak to before going home for the baby sitter.
Whereas the 19 yr olds were barely on their tenth fag by then, or first snog, and were waiting for the party to get started. then

Ooof

ivykaty44 · 27/10/2018 22:55

the op asked about feeling older

Then do tell me what licking elbows has to do with this 😳

7Days · 27/10/2018 22:56

Mind you, my mum says we're lucky that our old gang is still meeting up at weddings.
She meets hers at funerals.

blueshoes · 27/10/2018 23:26

When I was routinely older than my bosses (mid-40s). When interns in my office were of the age where they could be my child.

Sometimesitsmyownfault · 27/10/2018 23:34

I saw a high back arm chair with wooden arms in the charity shop - proper old people's home job - and I thought "that looks comfy". Brought me up with a start that did!!

Reaa · 27/10/2018 23:45

Licking elbows?

Dowser · 27/10/2018 23:51

When my husband had a stroke aged 62 and I was 63
The realisation that if we wanted to have the life we loved, I’d have to take to the wheel with a lot more seriousness than I had been doing.
So 63 driving from the north east to Dorset, it suddenly dawned on me..just how out of practice I’d got..how deskilld I was . How nervous .
How old I felt.
I’ve had to work really hard at it. Having a meltdown in Worcester town centre was not the way forward or hysterics in Wrexham when I found we had a windscreen wiper that wasn’t working properly and it was drizzling wasn’t instilling confidence in my poor husband whom I’m sure felt he’d been taken hostage.

Things are much better now. It’s taken about two years to get comfortable in the role..I’m 66 now and shelved the long distance driving for the winter but I’ll be back out there in the summer.

His stroke has really brought it home to us though, just how tired, weak and vulnerable at times we have become.
Probably I notice it more in him. He tires easily.
Often has his second sleep , late morning. I’m wwtching him like a hawk..
We seemed so young and carefree when we met aged 55/56

What happened?
Heck we are both pensioners now but we aren’t going down without a fight.

PawneeParksDept · 27/10/2018 23:53

When I asked a colleague if she remembered where she was on 9/11 and she told me she was 4.

Dowser · 27/10/2018 23:59

And I have a 41 year old daughter...I look at her and think..where did this lovely woman come from...
I still see her as a 21 year old
😱

Graphista · 28/10/2018 00:35

Oh fuck yes! Seeing friends age! I kinda expected/was prepared for seeing the change in female friends, COMPLETELY unprepared for male friends to start looking old!

Recently caught an up to date pic of ex on FB - he's grown a beard and apparently now needs glasses - barely recognised him and we were married 10 years together almost 14!

But the worst? Bro's best mate, started looking kinda like his dad 5/10 years ago, he had a birthday recently and posted on FB - looks like his GRANDAD! He's only 45! And he's not in bad shape or ill or anything he's just gone very grey very quickly.

A few people (old classmates) have sent me friend requests in last year, due to most women do still change name on marriage I've had to ask other friends I've known from school "I've had a friend request from Susan smith - don't recognise pic do I know her?" Reply "yea course you do! She used to be Susan brown you sat next to her in English and shared a tent on that guide camp" how the fuck do I not recognise them? They look COMPLETELY different!! the only one that doesn't we suspect has had more than a little work done

One of them part of the reason I didn't recognise her was her hair colour - except she wasn't dying it and wasn't grey - she's just gone back to her natural brown whereas I ALWAYS knew her as a blonde I honestly thought it was her natural colour! That was a shocker!

"Mind you, my mum says we're lucky that our old gang is still meeting up at weddings.
She meets hers at funerals."

I do sadly remember my gran saying after returning from the funeral of her closest friend "that's everyone gone now, there's nobody of my generation left" and honestly that's the point at which she really started going downhill. I know Drs etc will say it was her age and X conditions etc but it was literally within a few weeks she went from active if achey to bedridden.

Heartbreaking. It also really threw me how much her friend dying hit me, it took my mum pointing out that this lovely lady (and all her family) had been on the periphery of my own life and family all MY life so it was bound to have an effect. Odd the things that catch you out. Gran and her friend had met at work, they were 14 when they first met and hit it off and in their late 80's when she passed. They'd seen each other through marrying, having babies, having mc, becoming grandparents, losing their own parents and siblings, serious illness of their husbands, widowhood, their own ageing and failing health... Sadly as tends to happen we've mostly lost touch with that family now, though I think mum is still in touch with one of her daughters.

Dowser bloody well done you doing all that driving! As evidenced on this thread there are people 20 years younger struggle with it, I've not driven for almost 9 years due to meds, although they've been changed recently so I can think about it again. I'm working to overcome housebound agoraphobia at the moment but I'm hoping next spring/summer I can get out and about more and that may include driving again.

My mum actually really doesn't look her age, neither do me or my siblings. When she was still working I turned 40 and she had several colleagues saying that they didn't think she was old enough or that if she was she must have been a teen mum! She was mid 20's when she had me. So not particularly young. I also had a few people thinking I was kidding on when I said I was turning 40. Lovely compliments but I don't see it myself. I get a bloody great shock when I look in the mirror! Grey hair, sagging skin, and serious weight gain (again partly meds) without wishing to brag but in my 20's I was slim and quite pretty and that's still the image I have in my head.

Does anyone else experience this? That you also have friends/family that you knew from much younger that you still have how they looked then stuck in your head? So when you see them now it doesn't match?

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