Am I a CF for wanting to do this?

[anothernamechange40]

Name changed but been around for years.
Really don't want to drip feed or be outed.

DH has had a tough year. We both have.

We have money worries and less coming in than we used to have. Savings are propping is up but we will be able to turn this round.

Our DS is being assessed for ASD.

MIL and PIL moved to Ohio about 3 yrs ago. They have come back to visit about every 6 months. We have not had the money to visit them.

PIL has messaged me to say they want to pay for flights for us all to come out and see them. This is a truly amazing and a once in a lifetime holiday. It would be for one week, staying with them.

DH and DS will be so excited, words can't convey how they will feel.

MIL does not like me but tolerates me.

Is it a bit CF of me to price up the cost of internal flights to Disney land and 1 week accommodation there as well?

If our flights and accommodation are sorted by MIL and PIL, I think we might be able to afford Disneyland. Is this wrong for me to suggest? I can't really ask DH what he thinks as it's a surprise.

DS asks about visiting them and Disneyland at least once a week. He doesn't understand how big a country it is, I've shown him on maps. He keeps a hight chart for how tall he is, and marks off his favourite ride at each theme park, asking if we can visit when he's tall enough for it. DS is high functioning in a lot of ways, obsesses and struggles with transitions. Whilst I want to do an amazing thing and tag on Disneyland, I'm not sure he would understand if it wasn't part of the trip, iyswim.

WWYD?

What about Disneyland Paris as a separate trip? Wouldn't that make more sense?

I certainly wouldn’t do it on a credit card.

Not what you asked but I’m another one who’d be livid if my husband made a big expensive plan and kept me in the dark, knowing, at a time when money is tight, that you’ll be in even more debt for TWO YEARS for a holiday.

Those things have to be joint decisions.

Why do you think MIL will agree to keep it from DH?

I don't think you're a CF for thinking about it although if your MIL already doesn't like you she'll probably be a bit sniffy about it. Then again, do you really care if it bothers her? Sounds like she would find something to get annoyed with you about regardless. As another poster suggested you could invite them along if it would make things smoother.

I suppose it also depends on if the internal flights and park tickets etc will be much cheaper than it would be to fly out to visit them? If not I suppose it is a bit cheeky for you to pay it when you haven't been able to afford to visit them.

Wait and see what your travel agent friend says. It would be a holiday of a lifetime for your family and you'd make lovely memories and it sounds like your son would be over the moon.

Also, in regards to people saying if you have to put it on a credit card you shouldn't be doing it - basically everyone I know that's ever done a US Disney holiday has either had to pay it up on a credit card or a loan. It's a big amount of money and I don't know many people who could pay it in the one go. You could look into credit cards with a long interest free period if you can get one.

Definitely C fuckery. They are only paying your travel because you’re skint. But you are going to springboard off their offer and take yourselves to Disney for a week? That will cost you thousands.

Why is it she doesn’t like you?

Thanks everyone. I'll wait for the sums from my travel agent friend but I'm thinking this is a big no. Will look in to the other parks suggested.

As several pp's have commented; firstly, every relationship is different. My DH doesn't make any financial decisions, he actively avoids them and often tells me to do whatever, he doesn't care.

We've twice had holidays where he has told me he wants to take no part in it until he gets there. Yes, I know I've been facilitating a man child in this respect. So a surprise holiday will go down well, his parents also know this. That's why they have suggested this as a surprise Christmas present for him.

This works for us as I don't make silly decisions and am cautious with money. I've never put a holiday on a credit card before. I think I'm wanting to do this for DS because of the ASD assessment. We're at the very beginning and it's been quite a shock for us both.

There are a lot of financial compromises we have made and not been able to go back and fulfil in the way we wanted. I don't want DS to fall victim to this, and never experience his dreams coming true. That is the only reason I was toying with this. Thanks to everyone for your comments and perspective.

I think aweek at Disney from Ohio will be far far more expensive than a trip U.K.-Ohio would have been so yes, it would be cheeky as you’ve said you can’t afford the Ohio trip yourself.
But ok to tag on a week for just three three of you somewhere else driveanle from inlaws.

A week is going to be more than you need there, surely? Plus the Cedar Point idea from seaandski sounds ideal for your DS and much easier.

If it's going to cost the same/more than the flights to Ohio but you still want to do it and can afford the monthly payments you could plan it for another time so as to save arguments with your MIL. That way you might be able to find better deals as you'll have more time to plan it and don't have to fit it into the timeframe as your trip to Ohio.

Or as another poster suggested, Disneyland Paris could be an option as well. I've been to Florida and Paris and enjoyed both. I do prefer Florida but if I hadn't already been there then I would have found Paris absolutely magical as I wouldn't have had anything to compare it to.

Will the trip to Disney cut short the time spent with the inlaws? I'd imagine they'll be booking the arriving and leaving dates/flights?

If id paid for your flights because i knew you were skint, and then you pissed off to Disney for a week id think you were taking the piss a bit to be honest.

Tricky one

Are your PIL comfortably off enough that paying for your flights to visit them is no big deal for them? If yes then no I don't think it would make you a CF to explore the option of extending your visit to include Disney (although I wouldn't personally go on any holiday that was going to take me 2 years to pay off on CC).
If they aren't particularly wealthy and would be paying for your flights at considerable sacrifice to their own finances it could well appear a little CF for you to happily accept their gift and then suddenly have enough money to pay for Disney having never visited them on the basis of not being able to afford it

A week in Disney will far exceed the cost of flights to Ohio so I'd be pissed off that you hadn't visited in 3 years but could suddenly afford Disney. A day trip to the local park nearby sounds a great idea.

ASD or not a child can't go to Disney just because he's obsessed with it. Putting it on a cc means you can't afford it. Yes it's shite but that's life.

Another vote for Cedar Point (i worked there in the early 90s - prob changed s lot!)

flamingo said it best.

You’re being a CF, sorry.

Save your pennies and go to Paris Disney for a long weekend, all in you can do it for about £5oo

I don't think you can justify it, but I do understand it will be difficult for DS to understand, you may need to spring the surprise a little earlier than you might have liked to be able to explain that, and I would discuss this with in laws so you are not just ruining their surprise.
Tell them you are very grateful and think it will be wonderful for DH and DS but you will have to explain carefully because he might expect to be going to Disney....as you said in your post basically.
In an ideal world they would suggest meeting you their instead. That might be wishful thinking