What would you wear to a black tie wedding?

[Biancadelriosback]

Been invited to one and unsure whether to go full length or cocktail? It's late December and in a barn so also need to be warm.

Either full length or cocktail would be fine, the rules are generally more relaxed for women. I’ve been to a few black tie weddings and there’s usually a pretty even split between those who chose to go all out and wear full length or just wear a cocktail dress. Men are definitely required to wear a tux though.

I’d go for full length if you’ll be warmer!

Is it full black tie, or does the invite say 'black tie optional'?

Women 'should' wear floor length gowns to a full black tie, BUT, you can get away with cocktail, as long as it's not too short or revealing, and it is a bit more elaborate than just a 'posh frock'.

I'd personally only wear a floor length gown to black tie, but every one I've been to (Officers Mess and charity Balls) has a smattering of beautiful cocktail dresses. Wear what makes you feel better...a long-sleeved velvet floor length would be lovely for a winter black tie, or even strapless with a beautiful wrap! I'm guessing it's not outside, so you shouldn't be cold in any event.

Enjoy 😊

It's full black tie. I have a dress which is ivory with a black lace overlay, 'crystal' detailing around the waist and dip hem so at its shortest length it's still knee length. I was thinking that with a grey, fur jacket or shrug or something? Still feels more like a posh frock though :/

Annoyingly before we got the invite, DH bought a lovely (and v expensive) grey suit. His tux doesn't fit and he doesn't want a new one as he never wears it! Perhaps a bow tie and cummerbund with a normal black suit? Or will that look silly?

Tux accessories with a normal suit would look a tad odd.
Moss Bros? or Topman rentals if Tux is madatory? Are you important enough on the guest list to draw much attention?

Whilst women can get away with cocktail dresses now, a man really can't! Black tie is black tie 🤷‍♀️ Hiring is a cheap option though.

My friends husband got his in Matalan!! Less than £50...it's not bespoke, obviously, but he looked very smart at our summer ball!

It's white tie where women where full length.

For black tie it can be any length.

Ballerina length is terribly useful when you're not sure but there hasn't been much if that in the shops for ages.

You'd be best off asking the bride (if you know her, or the closest person to her you do know) specifically 'long or short?'

And dark suit is (an always has been) an acceptable alternative for men who do not own black tie (usually young men, and anyone else who cannot afford it)

I know clothes are cheaper now, so more people can afford to own black tie, but the principle remains.

If it was me, I would go full length and wear a full length cape, probably hooded, to keep me warm.
My friends would expect nothing less to be honest.

@mpsw I'm going to (politely!!) disagree with you here (please don't hate me 😧). It's never been optional for men to wear just a nice suit, unless the invitation states explicitly 'black tie optional'. This one appears rly isn't 'optional'. . I know that men 'do' do this, but it really isn't an acceptable thing in terms of the etiquette around an event. It's done more and more now though so it's 'accepted' but not 'acceptable'.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/news/amp2508/how-to-decode-a-black-tie-invitation/

No idea what happened there!!

It should say...This one doesn't appear to be optional. 😩. Silly phone!!

I think your dress sounds perfect op. Unless you really want a New One?

Full length, got to be full length.

Phase Eight have some nice ones on sale:

www.phase-eight.com/fcp/categorylist/sale/dresses?isSearchFilterSuffix=true&results=60&visModel=CHANNEL_COUNTRY_CURRENCY&filters=Hierarchy_TOP_NAVIGATION_FILTER:/TOP_NAVIGATION/wc_sale/wc_sale_dresses!W_DRS_TYPE_FILTER:Maxi+Dress

I can't afford a new one. I do have a full length one in navy but I'm worried about going all out and no one else! I don't want to look like a want to be bridesmaid.
DH can rent a cheap tux, or Matalan sounds great! He'll never wear it again I don't think. Were not 'ball' people

If you can't afford it wear the one you have. It's a wedding not an official government event. It's not like you'll get kicked out!

I've got this problem, except I don't own anything and will have to buy it on a very tight budget. At the moment I haven't seen anything that won't make me look obviously like a huge fat (cheap) lump. Oh any it cant be too fancy as it has to survive travel by public transport!

Is it outrageous to wimp out and not go (be 'ill' on the day?)

@happinessiseggshaped I feel for you...it can be expensive getting kitted out for a wedding! But yes, that would be really bad form to wimp out on the actual day. The hosts will have paid for you..and 'per head' costs for weddings are extortionate (they'll likely have costed you for the wedding breakfast at anything from £35 to over a £100, depending on the venue! Plus the evening buffet or whatever they are providing.) Then there will have been some sort of drinks package added per head (at a very minimum it would be drinks on arrival and wine with the meal!) So yeah...that would be pretty pants to do that 🤷‍♀️. If it's black tie, I'd guess their wedding will be on the higher side of the 'per head' estimates. Just say you can't go. You don't have to give a reason why 🤷‍♀️ My daughter had 6 'no-shows' on the day...no reasons were given why, they just didn't turn up!! I still had to fork out £85 per head for each of them! If we'd been told even a few days before we could have invited others to take their place (she had plenty of 'evening only' friends who would have willingly attended the whole thing).

'Black tie optional' is a recent monstrosity.

Belack tie has always (or at least for the last century) meant black tie if dark suit for those who do not own black tie and cannot afford to supply it.

(I think usage in US these days may be different, but I'm assuming this is a UK enquiry as this is a Uk site. But in the days if Emily Post, dark suit was always acceptable at 'black tie)

Your dress sounds lovely but I’m not sure you should wear ivory for a wedding. I’d go with the navy one!

Black tie in a barn? A proper barn or a heated converted barn?

Full length, got to be full length.

No it doesn’t, not for black tie

So it's not really ivory.... It's a bit like this

costarellos.com/2017/01/25/ss-1721-lace-off-shoulder-dress-white-lining-black/

But not this dress. I just mean in terms of the ivory with black lace. Doesn't in anyway look bridal nor could it be mistaken for bridal.
It is a proper (and very very expensive) venue so it'll definitely be heated. Plus they are having fire pits out back in the evening etc.

Sorry my spacing isn't really working very well on my phone

Black tie most definitely does not mean floor length dresses. White tie demands floor length dresses.

Black tie demands cocktail or evening dresses. Nothing too short. Qyite formal still.

I think your lace dress is more likely to be in line with what others will wear. Though the navy one may be more in keeping with what the bride might have had in mind, if that makes sense. Either sound appropriate. But don’t underestimate how cold it will get - even with fire pits. I’d go long as it will be warmer.

happinessiseggshaped - I had this problem a couple of years ago. Went to TK Maxx and they had huge racks of full length dresses. Mine only cost £30 in the sale! Lots of plus sizes too.

Prom dress hire shops are also a cheap option and handy if you won’t wear the dress again.