Do you say anything if you catch people talking about you?

[KingPenguin]

You know when you walk into a room, maybe catch a few words that're obviously about you and the people talking go silent and elbow each other and everything is a bit awkward. Do you say anything or just pretend you didn't notice? I always want to say something but I'm never sure how to approach it.

This afternoon, it was people who I've literally never said a word to talking about something that I do because of anxiety and I wish that I'd said something because my awkwardness doesn't affect them in any way and knowing that people were talking about me made a bad day worse.

This happened to me once with neighbours. It was a nasty, uneducated, judgmental conversation.
I walked up, unnoticed, and said, "Don't mind me, please do carry on."
They scurried into their homes, in silence. Looking like this
That was in 1998, we are all good friends now.

No but I’ve walked into a room before and it’s just gone silent. That was awkward. I just breezed in and out again but I was cringing. It might have just been something private and nothing to do with me but you automatically worry, don’t you?

It happened to me today at work. I'd asked some colleagues to do as they'd been asked a million times tighten up on a procedure.
The huffing and puffing, followed by elbowing and silence was comical as I unexpectedly appeared.
I asked if there was some confusion and could I help. They were SO nice to me! Two faced arses.

Sorry that happened KingPenguin anxiety is rubbish.

I'm always mentally going off on a rant about it but I suppose something simple that basically says 'yes, I did hear that' is the way to go.

Happened to me with owners of a B&B we were staying in! We were getting ready to go to a wedding so as soon as we arrived we disappeared up to our room to change, do hair etc and I was in and out the bathroom doing my make up and things. Just as we were leaving I was waiting on upstairs landing for DH who had nipped to the loo and I heard them talking about us,

“They’ve been in that room since they got here! They must be having sex!”
“Yes, one of them has been in the bathroom about 5 times!”
“Ugh! Having a dirty weekend!”

They were a married couple in their sixties and the B&B room was clearly once a child’s bedroom who had moved out. I poked my head over the bannisters and called,

“Yes, actually we aren’t having sex, we have been getting ready to go to a wedding. Don’t wait up!”

I was seething!! The next morning as we paid up I said,

“Just a little bit of useful feedback for you. If you are going to talk about your guests behind their back, please have the decency to ensure they can’t hear you first!”

And off we went.

I would always say something! But I’m not very subtle...

I said something to my boss, when I heard him talking to someone I line managed, about something HE had done and blamed on me. I said “Actually, that’s not true, his PA emailed me and to.d me that he wanted me to speak to you about this and so I did. It was his intention and his plan.”

I was very angry at the brass necked lie, so decided to challenge it.

I was once in a staff room with colleagues a few days in to starting a new job. Then one pipes up and asks another person "What do you think about the new girl?" The other person started talking about how she liked me but thought I was too enthusiastic (worked in a nursery 🙄) I was too excited when it came to planning around children's interests and I was trying to hard. They then started to talk about me doing certain things with children that they were too lazy to do and saying I was making them look bad so maybe they should try and speak to the manager and discredit me some how.

The person opposite me just say there open mouthed and I just kind of sat there listening in shock until I found my voice and said "That's a really good idea. I'm very excited and enthusiastic about this. You should absolutely go ahead with the plan, I'm sure it will make you both look like amazing practitioners."

They both just looked at me and sheepishly apologised. Not for what they said but that they said it while I was there. I obviously spoke to the manager and two more people did too. The manager laughed and said they must have only been joking. I lasted three months there, looking back I have absolutely no idea how!

This happened to me on Wednesday in work. Something happened whilst l was off work so nothing to do with me. People where gossiping so l asked questions as none of it made sense and it was out of character for the person involved and said there are two sides to every story and maybe everyone should calm down as it is damaging to both people and our department.

So now they are talking about me being up tight and rude. I wasn’t rude at all. After l got what l wanted from the office l wanted to turn round and shout “you stupid fools, it’s you lot making this place hard to work at not anyone else”

But l imagine that would of been talked about another way, so l smiled told gossip Glenda (the ring leader) her hair looked nice today (an out and out lie she had obviously been caught in the rain) and left.

Got back to my desk and thought no wonder l mind my own business in work.