Pick up/ drop off arguments with ex

[Wetwashing00]

Me & my ex have been separated for 8 years due to DV. We have a 10yr old DD together.
We used to live within walking distance to each other which was handy for child contact, but he would also turn up to my house in fits of rage/ threatening my partner. He can lose his temper over very small issues, mostly it is because I won’t agree to swap/change contact days to suit his social life or if he cannot control or manipulate me to do what he wants.
He doesn’t pay child maintence, he works cash in hand jobs, gets kicked out regularly so moves about a lot and I’ve come to the end of the line with CMS. Bailiffs attended his address (his girlfriends property) and were not able to arrange repayments. I’ve been told I am unlikely to ever get anything from him.

Last year I moved 15 miles away, it was the best move for all of us as a family. The only negative being that there would be 30mins travelling for either of us.my ex doesn’t drive or own a car(he’s 33, nothing stopping him), but he girlfriend does and she had been doing most of the drop homes for about 3 yrs anyway. Public transport is very good too, although he has refused to ever use it.
So this week he has called to re-arrange pick up/drop off, just a basic switch to the usual: I usually her drop our DD to him and he usually drops her home.
He then called 3 days later to say he can’t afford petrol to pick her up and he wanted me to do both trips. I had already changed several plans to accommodate his change of plans earlier and to be honest I’m a bit short of cash too. So I said no, sorry.
(He has a relative that lives near me & around 10+ people he could ask for a driving favour, I have no one to ask) he expects me to cover his share of driving when he hasn’t planned it well, had an argument with his girlfriend or has been out all weekend. So this happens a lot.
Straight away he has accused me of being awkward to piss him off on purpose.
He has then threatened my partner by saying he will punch my partners teeth in if I don’t bring his daughter on his next dates.
I said if he threatens my partner I will not be bringing her again.... so he threatened to break my partner in half and said ‘he’s fucked
Now believe me.’

My partner is reporting this to the police.

What would You do next?
Shall I carry through my statement of not bringing his daughter to him?
I don’t want to upset my daughter by not taking her but surely if I do, it just shows him that he can speak to me how he likes coz he will always have his daughter delivered to him.

Your dd isn't a pizza.
Unless he arrives at your door she stay home.
Stop enabling him to be a lazy shite df.
Your dd is old enough to know the truth imo.

He’s threatened violence, she wouldn’t be going near him at all if she was mine. Stop contact and let him go to a solicitor. Then you explain in writing to his solicitor exactly what he has been doing.

There is no way I would be continuing contact in these circumstances. Your daughter does not need to be exposed to that kind of language, threats and poor attitude.
I'd be looking to record all conversations now or communicate only in Messenger or WhatsApp for presenting to the police and the court if necessary.

I’ve been recording all issues for a few years when he was released from prison. Mostly it’s been changes to contact days, last minute cancellations etc.
We tried mediation once, he got his contact back after talking the talk then didn’t turn up to any more appointments. I continued allowing contact as he seemed to be behaving.

Do you think it makes a difference that these threats were over text? And not aimed at me?
Does it justify stopping contact?
I’m always torn over this as he has a great relationship with our DD

Text is good, it means you have the written proof. He threatened your child’s step parent. Has your partner gone to the police? Please insist he does. You need to take this stuff seriously. What was he in prison for?

He was in prison for violence.
There will be no doubt the local police will be more than happy to press the issue with cps to charge him. He is well known and not at all liked.
My partner hasn’t reported it yet, but says he will.

get your partner to report it and refuse contact unless at contact centre arranged by him due to the threats of violence.

The police came round and said they won’t be taking any action this time.
Because the texts were to me but about my partner it’s hard to prove that he would know that my partner would see them! This is what the police said.
They didn’t advise stopping contact and my ex had arranged for someone else to pick her up yesterday.
The police suggested contacting a solicitor ‘if I have some money’ as that is what we need.
But I don’t ever have spare money, I live wage-wage every month.
I also asked a family member that works in family law and she said if my ex is unwilling to pay it will be hard to do it on my own through the court.

He referred my report to the domestic violence unit but said I won’t be hearing from them. So I doubt I could get legal aid either.

Sorry for such a late response. The police sound like absolute shit. Can you go to the police and ask to speak to an Inspector as they don't seem to be taking these threats seriously. Given that he has previous convictions, they should be.
If this doesn't work, go to your MP, be very clear about what you want and ask if he can write to the Chief Superintendent and find out why this is not being taken seriously. It is a malicious communication intended to threaten or cause fear or harass and that is against the law. It matters not one jot about the boyfriend bit - it caused harassment and fear TO YOU!
Good luck.