What things were you not allowed as a kid that you can now do to your heart's content?

[BubblesInTheTub]

I know this has been done before but I love these threads.

I'll start:

• We never ever used to have Paracetamol in the house unless someone was actually ill with a cold or the like. I used to have horrendous period pains but pain relief was never available. Now I pick up Paracetamol whenever I'm in a shop (I think I've got about 20 boxes at the moment) and I take it whenever I need to.

• When I was a kid drinks were like food, you got a drink, you drank it and it was finished until the next drink. I've always needed to drink quite a lot and remember always being a bit thirsty as a kid. Nowadays I have a drink constantly on the go - a water/coke/squash just on the table for whenever I need a sip.

• When I was about 12, it suddenly became very uncool to wear a backpack. I used to walk two miles to school loaded up with really heavy shit sitting on one shoulder. Now I'm an adult and don't give a fuck what I look like, I'm happy hiking around town with all my heavy shit loaded up on my back

C'mon tell me yours!

Long hair here again. Even though mine looks a bit witchy now aged 45 I don't care. I had short hair as DM said it suited me better from 10-15 I hated it. Grew my hair and then my confidence came. I think many of us 80s teens had short hair as was the (middle aged) fashion

Boundaries, freedom of thought and expression and my own personality, are the big ones.

I have enjoyment, in life, myself, the people around me and days out/christmas/birthdays.

Long baths, my Parents, like others on this thread, would restrict washing, for no good reason.

I can eat nutrious food, I can live in a clean house.

Since my Mum died, I live, without anyone putting down my choices. She used to comment on what I would spend on make-up/clothes/hair etc. I used to have to point out what she spent on her daily cigs and booze, to shut her up.

I'm allowed to be pretty without critism, or judgement.

There must be people reading this who brought up their children this way. What do they think, reading it back?

A lot of things I can do for my Dc my parents couldn’t as much is money related - eating out clothes. Drink access is more cultural change.

I think the insisting on keeping clothes that weren't worn was a money and particular thought pattern.

Mum couldn't afford more clothes so somehow me having clothes taking up space that weren't wearable or I didn’t like so wouldn't ware didn't matter as much as there were clothes there.

The bedtime thing is odd – mixture of control and habit maybe.

Drink fizzy. We were allowed one bottle of cola, one of orangeade and one of lemonade at birthdays.

Eat sweets. Actually it's not as attractive as it was.

Have the windows closed and the heating on when it's cold.

Have a meal without bread or mashed potato.

Long, hot showers, if I so choose. DP never actually limited me showering, but DF always policed the length and temperature of showers, and mumbled about wasting water. I can also use large, soft towels, instead of scratchy linen ones, which DM thought were absorbent and pretty.

Eat junk. We were a very clean eating household, growing up, and DM prided herself on never allowing sweets or fatty snacks. Home grown marrows ad infinitum! I gained a lot of weight in university when I was finally able to just eat everything that had been bad... It took a long while for that rebellious forbidden fruit effect to wear off.

Go to therapy and talk about all the shit things as much as want, and have no secrets! My MH issues started as a child, but parents didn't allow me to attend therapy that the school arranged for me. There was always a clear message that home life should never be discussed with outsiders. I can now also be in a bad mood, if I happen to be in a bad mood, which is great!

Heating on during the day when it's cold
Eat out when we want (not a money thing for my dm)
Having cats on my knee all the time
Eat chocolate in the bath (which nobody has been in before me or is yelling for me to hurry up before it gets cold)

I have a whole glass of juice with breakfast rather than half a thimble.

Use kitchen roll.

Throw food out that is clearly going off/smells funny.

Go to a hairdresser rather than have someone with awful perfume come to the house.

We never had much money when we were kids so things like Brownies etc were a no- go. Also my mum didn't drive and my dad worked nights so we couldn't have got there anyway. My girls all did Brownies and loads of other clubs, but my eldest told me how annoyed she was that she couldn't do gymnastics but her sisters did (had more money then and the logistics were easier). Mind you, her sisters were annoyed they had to go to bed earlier than their big sister, so swings and roundabouts!
Scuffing through leaves was banned, ruined your shoes. I was about 19, there had been a very windy night and my entire walk to work was covered in fallen leaves. I scuffed from the top of the hill to the bottom- marvellous! I still scuff leaves now at nearly 60.

I can cry and/or lose my temper because now it wont 'upset' my mother. Any display of emotion frowned upon.

There must be people reading this who brought up their children this way. What do they think, reading it back?

I think they would themselves have different things they wanted to do as a child, and then were able to do as adults! I'm sure it happens in every generation.

It's interesting to read so many mention the heating thing. I think I must be a generation ahead of this, or something! My DP had grown up without central heating, with fires being lit for a bit in the morning and evening. They revelled in it never being cold in the house. The central heating was set quite high, and I don't think the heating was ever off in between September and April/May (colder climate)! I happen to be a very "hot person", always sweaty and too warm, with sweaty hands outside without gloves when it's -15. I hated how warm it was, and sometimes tried to sleep on the floor, just because it was colder than my bed. As a result in my own home the thermostat is set at 18, and I keep my windows open even in mid-winter. DM worries when she visits that I might be scrimping and hiding financial worries, but I just want it to be a bit more chilly.

@Shockers OMG we must be sisters! My parents never took any water on hikes even in really hot countries.

Turn the tv on just to see what's on and flick through the channels. My df always went through the radio times and tv times and circled programmes to watch at the beginning of the week.

Eat scrambled egg with more than one egg in it. Eat a whole rasher of bacon. My sister got half (the wide bit) I got the other, as I was younger. Use kitchen roll. I think my dm had the same roll of kitchen roll throughout my childhood. You weren't supposed to use it really. As if it was finest silk! Mum! This is the 80s! The war finished 40 years ago.

My mother was a single parent. As the eldest child I felt the pressure to act like a grownup I was mindful of not making any mistakes as I had to be the sensible one. As a result I was often afraid to take risks.
As an adult, I do what I want when I want

Not eat the very end of the box of cereal when it is just dust left. And I don’t make my children eat it either. I hated how it turned to paste when you added milk!

Go to a cafe when out, even if it's just for a cuppa.
Or
Eat iunch out when shopping etc

We were never allowed to stop in any place for a drink or something to eat when I was a kid. Luckiest chance was a pasty on the way home if we'd been out all day and were nearly fainting.

Pay for parking.

Rather than park in some side street further away than your fecking house was to save money when out.

Took my son to the states this year and I valet parked EVERYWHERE 😂

Have a hot bath up-to my chin.

Rather than one inch of hot water and a lecture about the immersion.

I wouldn't winge at all if my parents had been loving but poor and struggling but they were vindictive and they were just tight as crabs arses with us throughout our childhood.

Visit a doctor or dentist.
Sometimes I think we could have died and they would have covered it up somehow.
Not having the heating up so high that I have a stuffed up nose every evening.
Having good fresh food.
Having friends.
Having milk, it was banned .
There's so many, she was a classic narc and he lived in terror, nc 20 years now.

It's funny but a lot of things my parents insisted on have followed through to adulthood. So

• fizzy drinks only on special days out etc. I never drink fizzy drinks now
• no jellies or sticky sweets (esp E number ones!). I would rarely eat these now.
• like a pp they were very strict about tv so most of the time I never even think of putting the tv on in the daytime.
• My mother always insisted I had breakfast and to this day I wouldn't dream of skipping it.
• They did insist I cleared my plate which led to many battles...to this day no matter how hungry I am or how much I like a dish I always leave some behind.

So many of these resonate with me!

Not having to share the bath water
Having a clean bath in the first place
Having a clean and tidy home - my parents still live in a horror show of a house. Think "Hoarders" crossed with "How Clean is Your House"
Having as much toilet roll as I need and not having to wipe my arse on a towel or the cardboard inner tube
Having clean towels/bed sheets/clothes
Shaving my legs (when I can be arsed!)
Taking more than one biscuit at a time
Not having to ask permission to get a drink or a snack
Being able to read for as long or as late as I wish (I would have KILLED for a Kindle in the 80's!)
Not having to eat soggy cornflakes that my Step Dad made well before we got up. Usually in milk that was on the turn.
Going to a hairdresser. I have a lot of hair and there are some horror cuts in the albums!
Wearing make up
The list is ENDLESS

I enjoy having half a pint of milk (at least) on my breakfast cereal. Growing up, my Mum would shriek that we’d got nearly half a pint of milk on our cereals every bloody morning. It was shortly after WW2 and rationing and not being extravagant were deeply ingrained in people. It never left my Mum and I notice my DMIL, although 10 years younger than my Mum, is of a similar mindset.

My mum is forever banging on about money saving, at least half of our conversations are taken up with this topic.

We never used to have coffee in town (you can have a cup of tea at home!) - she still insists on this when we visit. She hates eating out full stop. She wonders why other daughters hang onto their mothers' every word, but she's never 'treated' me to coffee and a chat, it's just 'busy busy busy' and onto the next activity.

I longed for chill time when I was a kid. My mum used to berate me for not reading enough - I literally couldn't fit it around my other activities!

It has made me think about my two DSes, and how I'm going to just let them 'be'. I feel like they'll discover what they really enjoy if I don't overschedule them.

Hair too here!

DM was convinced that Conditioner was just a scam. All a girl needed was the harshest shampoo and then for her hair to be combed free of knots. Thing is that if you have an Afro or very curly hair, conditioner is all your hair needs.

Took me until after uni and probably during my PhD to actually buy my own bloody first conditioner. And I have never stopped since then....Hence why I am on the Beauty Horders thread for hair products.

Another thing was wearing only iron ready items for church. Forget it if it ain't for the ironing board, don't even descend those stairs expecting to stay anonymous on a Sunday morning. Now as an adult I have purposely chosen churches where people evidently do not possess an iron let alone an ironing board. Praise be!

I remember the cutting up of mars bars and we were a family of 6!

Also we were never allowed fry’s cream or Turkish delight as they were for grown ups only.

Watch soap operas although I don’t watch any of them religiously but my dad had a ban on all of them, this extended to Dynasty and Dallas and I really felt I was missing out. Also not watch the news if I don’t want to.

Looking at this thread, with recurring themes, it makes me feel like a lot of these attitudes/restrictions are very British. Does anyone agree? Any mumsnetters on here from abroad have any opinion on this? It's particularly the keep yourselves to yourselves, sacrificing comfort etc being seen as virtuous. Or maybe a hang over from rationing?

I enjoy going to bed and getting up when I want, watching what I want on tv or turning it off if I want instead of having to sit through parents’ choices, and being able to eat what I want when I want - I have a vague meal plan but if plans change and we’re late home or I just don’t fancy it, we have an alternative or McDonald’s or fish and chips. There was no Maccies when I was a kid and fish and chips was a rare treat.
I love putting on my PJs in the evenings - DM thinks it’s very slovenly to sit around in nightwear.
I would never make my DC going to Sunday school, having been forced to go till I was 16.
I leave the washing up and do it all together once a day (dishwasher is broken). DM is 85, lives alone and still washes up after every meal...
Meals out for birthdays and sometimes for no special reason. And buying drinks and food out on journeys, or day trips, or sometimes while shopping.
Parents used to divide a Mars bar between all three of us. I know Mars we’re a bit bigger in those days but not that big.
I was determined not to wrap my kids in cotton wool and let them roller skate etc - things my parents wouldn’t let me do in case I broke an arm or leg.
I was also determined not to inflict on them the sheer boredom of “going for a little run” - a ride out in the car to the countryside on a Sunday or summer evening, sometimes followed by a lemonade in a pub beer garden, or traipsing around another dull garden centre.
Or holidays in bloody b&bs in a family room with the bathroom down the landing. I hated the feeling of staying in a stranger’s house. And somewhere full of pensioners like Sidmouth. Now I like to stay in big, anonymous hotels.