Turning down a hen due to TTC - be honest or fudge an excuse?

[DollyWilde]

Just been invited to SILs hen next year (September) but DH and I are planning to start TTC in January. It’d be really fun but not sure I fancy it if I’m pregnant (it will be boozy!) and will involve flying - and in any event in the very unlikely case we fall first month I could be giving birth at that point

DH and I have agreed we won’t tell parents about TTC - they’re lovely but I don’t fancy them doing ‘is this the month’ every month and would rather give them a nice surprise than have them asking about how we’re getting on

If it were a friend I’d quietly confide in them and ask them to keep it v under wraps, but it feels unfair to tell SIL and then tell her not to mention it to her mum. I think she’d try but it could come out by accident and it’s not her responsibility to worry about it/keep the secret.

Could say ‘can’t afford it’ but her hens are sweet and really working to keep costs down and I think she’ll be disappointed. I really don’t want her thinking I don’t want to join her! Given it’s 11 months away not sure I can claim prior arrangement either. WWYD?

Thanks guys, really appreciate it. Obviously having been on here a while I know it’s not always a walk in the park conceiving and I hope my post didn’t come across as such. More just not wanting to lose cash if I can avoid it, especially since we’re now following the advice of saving what childcare would cost in advance of a potential mat leave.

Think I will hang on til the last possible minute and reassess my options. My main worry was being the flakey pull out on a hen I’ve seen on AIBU so often!

Is it just me that read the title and thought you’d been offered a pet chicken?

😂 howmany

I think you’ll be miserable if you turn it down and then aren’t pregnant. And everyone will know.
I’d much rather have to cancel for the lovely reason that I’m pregnant.

That’s the way my mind works though.

Definitely say yes until money is required though!