Friend help

[Mermaidcrisp]

I've namechanged for this because I know the people involved use MN.

In the last couple of years I've become involved with a friendship group, which includes a lady who has numerous health issues. The friendship hasn't been easy & she has been a bit nasty to me over the years, nothing overt, but not someone I would seek out, if she wasn't part of the group.

She frequently gets the group to change plans to suit her & then cries off due to ill health. She has recently stated that she is autistic, and I appreciate the old adage that "if you know one person with autism, you know one person" however, I have worked for a number of years with people with autism, and she simply has no symptoms, although I appreciate she may be masking, but no outward signs AT ALL

She has a huge list of illnesses & issues she claims to have, ranging from food allergies (that she forgets about when she's had a drink) Chronic Fatigue, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, IBS, Migraines, Brittle Bones, chronic pain, insomnia, lung problems, and many more

She is now claiming that her DS (8) is autistic, although he has no diagnosis, and she has been fighting for one for years, and IMO is causing him potential issues due to the way she is treating him, eg still wears nappies (but not to school), does not discipline him, hospital visits, infantalises him to a degree that is very worrying.

She has fallen out with another member of the group because she has tried to discuss this with her (we live in a small village & her "issues" are a source of conversation & gossip, as people do not believe she is ill & she constantly "discusses" them on Social Media, 7 or 8 posts daily about her health, so making it everyone elses business in a way)

I'm really worried about her mental health, and I'm not sure who, if anyone, I could broach this with.

I'm not trying to be goady, and I'm not interested in gossip, but I am now very concerned about her mental health & what, I think, is deep control issues & the affect on her DS.

Should I just mind my own business & hope this resolves itself on its own or hope that the Professionals spot there is an issue & address it?

If you think her child is at risk then you have an obligation to flag this, either a call to SS or school but you may get no where. Nappies for bed or nappies from the minute he gets in, all weekend etc?

She may well be a hypochondriac but if she's only affecting herself there isn't really much you can do except talk to her, distance yourself or ignore it

Ok, I'll speak with the school (I have a professional relationship with them due to my job)

I just wasn't sure if this was pandering to gossip, or serious enough to report.

Well I think where a kid is concerned you act on the side of caution and report it to someone more experienced so school or SS. School may not take it forward but might be mindful. SS might not take action but would note it

I would also approach it from the angle of the kid. She may be pulling a Munchausen By Proxy Syndrome on her son.