I'm such a fucking idiot!

[GreenDinosaur]

I bought some jeans a couple of months ago and have worn them loads since. I was very pleased as I haven't been able to get back into a size 10 since before pregnancy and felt good as there was still plenty of room in them. I must have lost weight, yay!

For some reason the label caught my eye today, I read it properly.... US 10.... UK 14 No wonder there's room in them, they are a size bigger than my usual 12, not smaller!

I also think I've put on weight since buying them as I got cocky 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyone else this dense?

You have my sympathies!

I pulled on my training tights (L) and they were so baggy I was prancing (elephant style) around the room with glee.

Then noticed the other pair in the drawer. The actual size L. I was wearing the XL I'd kept for dossing about the house.

Oh that 5 minutes of slender loveliness was wonderful.

Hey you still have a pair of jeans that fit! What's silly is buying a size which you can't even get over your thighs. I speak from experience.

Hahahah snap ! I've done exactly the same in the past !

Glad I'm not alone in my embarrassment.
You can't beat the anonymity of the internet sometimes. I was feeling smug telling DH I'd lost some weight, I'm keeping quiet about this..... 🤐

It doesn't help that he's brilliant at dieting and keeps showing me how many belt holes he has come down.

Don't worry about it. Sizing varies according to store. As long as you feel OK in your jeans and look quite nice, nowt else matters.

Hee hee, when I saw thread title I had no idea what you were being an idiot about but I immediately thought, "So am I!". A not uncommon phenomenon.

I spent 10 mins struggling to get a pair of leggings on. I started having a sweaty meltdown before realising they were my DDs leggings. She was 8 years old at the time.

Second one, I was fumbling around for my glasses one night when DS was in bed with me unwell. I put my glasses on and everything was blurry, I took them off, cleaned them and put them back on, same thing. I started thinking has my eyesight deteriorated over night, thinking oh god what's wrong with me. I took them off, checked them again to finally register that they were DS glasses 😳

@Enigmam

That reminds me of the time I fell asleep in my contact lenses and spent a few seconds thinking a miracle had befallen me when I opened my eyes in the morning and could see!
(I'm blind as a bat without my glasses)

@GreenDinosaur

I've done that too! Thought I was like Spider-Man and could throw out my glasses 😆

I too have done the contact lens thing

I almost went to work in a pair of my ds's pj bottoms thinking they were my leggings 🙄 I am still quite thrilled I got in them considering he was 11 at the time...

@AbeautifulBeast That's quite an achievement! You should be proud

GreenDinosaur why thank you, I will wear my idiocy like a badge of honour 😂

I once reached in my bedside drawer for my eye drops as my hayfever was really bad and I'd rubbed my eyes raw. Grabbed the drops, undid them without looking.

And poured a full bottle of nail varnish top coat into my eye.

Not my finest moment.

I went to put the winter duvet on the bed this weekend, as it's getting cold. Only to discover we never switched to the summer duvet. Hottest summer in bloody years and we've been sweltering under the arctic-level down duvet.

On the plus side, I have now stopped scaring myself witless googling 'night sweats'. Apparently they aren't always a symptom of impending doom, sometimes you're just an excessively insulated idiot.

I triedvtongegnintonhusbands jeans thenitheg week he’s a medium and i’m Very much an XL lol.

The worst was when dieting a while ago my dossing in house joggers felt very loose in the tummy. Quite smug thinking ‘wow i’ve Lost a lot of weight off my belly!’ Then when I went to sit down the backside was very tight. I haftgem on back to front, that loose bit is where your arse goes,

These are so funny! Post pregnancy I felt very smug that I could get back into my jeans but smugness evaporated at the end of the day when I realised I had been wearing DH's

@DrMadelineMaxwell Were you ok?! I'm assuming a trip to A&E where they tried not to laugh Must have been excruciating and mortifying at the same time, poor you!

Fluffy & Professionally

I wonder if the Germans have a word for that feeling where you realise that you have have been internally celebrating, completely erroneously? They are good at words like that.

@GreenDinosaur - I lived for several years near Paisley in Scotland before I realised that there just might be some connection between the town of Paisley and its history as a mill town, and Paisley fabric.

@Defender90 What the hell are training tights?

Oh ignore me. Goggle tells me they're leggings for running. As you were.

A couple of months after giving birth I popped on my pre baby jeans and was oh so smug for them fitting, even if they were a bit stretched over the bum now. Toddled off with ds to a group two buses away. Sat on the carpet with the other parents and babies annnnddd....RIP I had to get two buses back with my arse hanging out.

Years a go my dh decided to do the ironing as I was stuck at work late. He's useless at ironing so it was always my job. Got home late that night to him proudly showing off a pile of ironing, which was all his stuff. He completely ignored all my clothes and then wanted thanking for doing 'my' chore for me.

Well I got the last laugh as early the next morning he was rolling around the room in the dark swearing and muttering that I had shrunk his work trousers. The fool was trying to force his rather larger than my arse into a pair of my black skinny jeans he had so carefully ironed oh god how I laughed.

@thecatneuterer

Sporty leggings for the gym.

I'd bought some leggings from Primarni. These particular ones I never wore. I wondered why. I am an 18. These were a size 4! Quite a difference!!!