Really struggling and feeling like I can't cope

[Dobbythesockelf]

I have a 3 yr old dd and a 16 week old ds. Everything seemed to be starting to come together but this last week I'm really starting to struggle and I don't feel like I'm coping at all.
Ds is teething I think, he's refusing to nap for longer than 30 mins during the day. So today he has had 2 30mins naps. He is grumpy and angry most of the time. He does smile and laugh but not regularly and he just seems so annoyed most of the time. He is ebf and refuses to take a bottle so all feeds are down to me.

Dd loves her brother but seems to hate me atm. She is constantly answering back, today she drew on the tv. She stomps off, shouts and cries when she doesn't get her own way and nothing I do seems to placate her.
My dh is out of the house 8am until 7pm. He does bedtime with dd and the washing up and that's about it. My ds will not settle for him and when he does try to settle him after about 10 minutes he starts getting annoyed that he is crying so I end up taking him off him. He wasn't like this with dd. He has been having a stressful time at work atm but I don't think this excuses him not making more of an effort.

I just feel like I'm swimming against the tide and getting nowhere. I have a permanent pile of washing, the house is messy etc. And to make matters worse I have hurt my neck/shoulder making it impossible to carry ds for any length of time.
I didn't realise having 2 kids would be this hard.

I feel the same :(

Whatever I do is undone within minutes, I can't even think without being interrupted. Can't even write coherently :(

Do you get any time for yourself at the weekend?

Sorry you are in the same boat. My dh only has every other weekend off and he does try to give me a bit of time but ds is really clingy and is still feeding every 2/3 hours so it's hard to make time.
I know what you mean about everything just getting undone straight away. Our house is up for sale atm and trying to keep it tidy is a battle I am not at all winning.

I think I just have no idea how to meet the needs of both of my children now. I don't think my tiredness is helping at all tbh.

Well today is even worse. My ibs has flared up and I'm feeling like shit as I already have an ear and throat infection. Phoned dh to ask if he could see about finishing a bit early today and he straight up said no. Just say I'm the bathroom and cried as I feel so terrible. Eugh I don't even know why I'm writing this just need to get it out I suppose.

Please remember this is a phase. Try to get some support from DH and friends/family. Try to spend time with positive people people, not emotional drains. Be kind to yourselves and prioritise. I have really cut down the frequency of laundry, kinder on the planet as well as my mental health. Identify what household jobs are really necessary to manage your own stress levels and ignore the rest. My floor is clean but my windows are filthy, I couldn't give a flying fuck.
Above all, be kind to yourself and build a little me time into your routine. A little can go a long way. You're doing well. Good luck.

Thanks. Going to try and get some time in this weekend and go for a coffee or something alone. I've tried telling my dh that I'm struggling but he just tells me I'm doing really well etc etc. I think he thinks he's been nice but I would prefer him to ask me how to help or just take the kids or something.

Then tell him what you need him to do. Men can be rubbish at interpreting IME, use plain language and be non confrontational. Small things can make a huge difference.

Going out for a walk and coffee just by yourself should really help. I usually take a pen and journal with me and just scribble down all my random, jabbering thoughts and plans. It truly clears my mind. Am taking time off work this fri and plan to do just that! It's too crazy right now - I have 3 dds aged 6,4 and 2 and we're refurbishing our house. Dd 2 still wakes up at night snd it's really draining.